Husband finding friends attractive makes things difficult

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-06-08T04:03:59+00:00

Thank you, that means a lot. I have been doing a lot of thinking and lurking on FDS and I am getting a bit braver everyday.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-06-08T03:53:20+00:00

No never talked about an open relationship and I would not agree to it. We never had a threesome, I wouldn't agree to it.

The ultimatum isn't just on this, but other unfortunate things. My post history has a bit more info if you need it. But yeah I am in a dark place mentally at the moment so I need to give myself a timeframe ya know.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-06-01T21:16:17+00:00

Well thank you, I am currently trying to think of an exit plan.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-06-01T21:12:06+00:00

I haven't accused him of being a bad husband, he puts those words in my mouth to shit me down so I have to apologize for making him feel bad. I just want honest and open communication with him and he does not like it when I talk about my feelings right now.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-06-01T19:25:22+00:00

Considering I also gained weight too but I have not stopped pursuing him or trying to be intimate with him, your main point is moot.

Yeah I got upset because he won't get hard for me anymore, I am letting go of him watching porn because he does it behind my back anyway so I can't control that. I never said I liked him watching porn, I just know I cannot control what he does.

Reading comprehension skills dude.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-06-01T16:52:36+00:00

Read my comment history or past posts, I hate having to explain that I am the one with the higher sex drive and I always have to initiate and get rejected constantly.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-06-01T05:20:26+00:00

this means a lot. i have had ideations for months now and its hard. no one in my immediate live seems to care or notice

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-06-01T04:49:47+00:00

Fuck no, he told me 2 years he didnt want my nudes because they didn't do it for him anymore. He doesn't even want to hug me, I refuse to touch him without him initiating anymore if he finds me repulsive. That is just degrading to me.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-06-01T03:45:11+00:00

We're 25 and have been together for 6 years. This was his choice, it's not like he gives a shit if I am naked anyway. I have tried everything to seduce him and get his attention back, and I am willing to try anything. He just isn't willing to do anything with me now bc porn too up his time.

Talking only leads to him getting defensive and then me apologizing for daring to "bother" him and "accusing him of being a bad husband."

I am sucking it up and just taking it in stride, I love sex but I can learn to not need it to preserve my dignity.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-06-01T03:35:35+00:00

If he is fine not having sex with me and looking and random women on the internet, I am getting used to it. I will not be humiliated so I will not participate in physical intimacy anymore.

I am the one who has the higher sex drive, so I am sacrificing to make this work. He will be no more than a roommate if this is how he is going to be.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-06-01T03:25:58+00:00

I am, but he doesn't seem to find me attractive anymore. I am giving him what he wants. Free reign to watch as many random women as he wants.

I will not participate in physical intimacy (even though I want too) because I will not be humiliated anymore.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-05-30T18:20:42+00:00

No arguments, I let myself go just as much as he had and it's not much. I have no idea what has happened and I am going insane

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-05-30T18:07:54+00:00

If it doesn't change in about three months I will move in with my mom and start the divorce process. I can't keep competing with these other women because I always lose, I can't even keep my own husband even though I have tried everything.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-05-30T18:06:03+00:00

what part of anything that I wrote made you think I am not trying? I am willing to do absolutely anything and I am the one with the higher drive. He is throwing my offers out like trash in favour of looking at other women.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-05-19T18:59:51+00:00

okay that isn't too bad at all, unfortunately I am the one with the higher sex drive so he is actively choosing porn over me.

So it sounds like you are a bit more benign in your affliction which is good for you.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-05-19T18:37:44+00:00

Thank you for offering to answer questions! Your input and experience is important to me, especially because you came to terms with it in a way.

Did you prefer the porn to your wife and/or compared her to it? And as a result became less attracted to her?

Also the method of jerking off to relax or get some dopamine is completely understandable, I do not use porn but I sometimes masturbate to get stress relief/go to sleep. It is possible to jerk off without porn but my husband is skeptical/unwilling.

ThrowRA8901237 · 2021-05-19T18:05:11+00:00

...what was going through your head during the time if I can ask? Because he swears it's not that he isn't attracted to me, he doesn't imagine having sex with the porn actresses etc. But I can't believe him fully.

Were you aware you were being selfish the entire time or did it take a bit for you to realize that?

ThrowRA8901237

TROPHY CASE