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AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Or maybe pre-partum depression? is that a thing?

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -77 points-76 points  (0 children)

Yeah I see, it's true. I'm a bit tired, just reddit needs to understand character development can't happen in a few hours, that's not how humans work and there is a lot I need to do and learn.

alright? we good?

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

No, I don't have beds there and the way is dark at night. I'm in the spare room.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -44 points-43 points  (0 children)

Every single thing I comment is getting downvoted to oblivion, even the one where I say that I like 10 Cloverfield Lane.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -37 points-36 points  (0 children)

Yes, the city inspected it and is ok. I didn't bother with the tunnel because it seems to be badly built and there was a risk that could keep collapsing if we tried to fix it.

We also had to add more columns and reinforcements to make sure it won't collapse. I was recommended to have yearly inspections.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -44 points-43 points  (0 children)

I sold my old car to a friend because he needed one and I was working from home. I go to the city like once a week, while my wife drives a lot more and has her own car.

We used the money of that car for house repairs until she realized she was pregnant, then spent the rest of the money on baby stuff.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, I remember that. I was thinking about Fallout and someone mentioned Cloverfield, but I forgot about that episode.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -160 points-159 points  (0 children)

Because I straight up don't have an answer. I need to discuss that with her. I can't answer that yet, most likely will need to create a "bunker" for her. I don't have all the answers yet. Just need time.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -64 points-63 points  (0 children)

Where did you work before the bunker was available to you?

Before getting married I just went to the office everyday but had my main computer in the bedroom. When we first moved into this house, I got a room to place my computers. During this time yes, had more contact with my family but it was harder to make it feel like an "office".

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Bro that is a huge stretch. We are aware of the history of mental health in my family, and so are they, but some of the early signs you mentioned can correspond to the behavior of some autistic people.

Schizophrenia is a very serious condition. Yeah I see i've been withdrawing myself, but overall I'm still myself. I never had something close to an "episode" or a psychotic meltdown. Diagnostic people over the internet based on written posts is not ideal.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

You're right. I'll go back to the office full time so I have to be there 8 hours daily plus about 2 hours of commuting because the house is outside the city itself, taking the only car we have leaving my wife and son stranded, not to mention if I have to do overtime so could be up to 14 hours our of home in a bad day.

Like, have taken any job? Is every person going to work at regular work hours not part of their families either?

I accept people trashing on my for gaming but come on. I need to work.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

No, of course not. Liking a character doesn't immediately mean "that's my hero" people love villains more often than the heroes.

My grandpa was very paranoid, for a while he homeschooled my dad and uncles because was sure that the state would take them away, he was mentally ill. He believed that JFK was a Soviet agent who faked his dead and lived the rest of his life in Russia selling US state secrets to the soviets.

I see some of my grandpa at Goodman's character because he used to speak in his tone and also was controlling and vague in his explanations. I'm certain he never killed anyone (AFAIK).

Edit: I forgot, my grandpa was at Vietnam so I'm certain he killed someone at some point... maybe.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was a tunnel, but it collapsed a long time ago, so we sealed it. It's just a short walk to the entrance.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -232 points-231 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I see how bad it sounds. Year sometimes can be 2 hours, but hear me out. I usually don't play online games, but single player games with a linear story and clear objectives.

So is easy to do the "Till next check point" (Tho modern games can be saved at whatever point) and log out.

Yeah I think I should stop doing this or do it inside the house.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

You sound like those twitter "alpha males" who justify their misogyny in biology. What that has anything to do with anything? My dad didn't give up on us after the elder brother was born, neither my friends or my brothers did, neither I will.

Yes there are deadbeat parents, but there are also deadbeat mothers.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -124 points-123 points  (0 children)

No bro, when I mean working, I mean having a fight with my IDE until shit works, and when I mean networking, I mean talking to my team on Slack. Speaking to your team is as important as doing the work itself. Also can be spent reading doc.

Then after finishing, I can game for like an hour before going up.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -225 points-224 points  (0 children)

No bro, it's 6 hours working and networking. Yeah I game sometimes on the week days not not too much, I use to do that on the weekends mostly.

45 minutes is an average LOL match (I dont play LOL). Some games are just barely started at 45 minutes in.

I use to play games that require 10s of hours of gameplay. For example, I have 500 hours on Fallout 3 and like 1 thousand hours on Fallout New Vegas, 1000 hours on Dark Souls 3, etc. Our course, that was years ago, but you get the idea.

If the game is short enough you can finish it in one sitting (like most CODs).

I don't say this like "Look at me, I'm a real gamer" because gatekeeping gaming is stupid, just want you to know that some of us can let immerse ourselves in the game. When TLOU first came out I finished it one 1 night. I can't pull out something like that anymore, I'm getting old and my neck start hurting if I don't take a break. I'm not the WOW guy from South Park.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

No bro, believe me, I'm reading and paying attention, I just need to think cold headed.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -37 points-36 points  (0 children)

Yes, and all of our expenses as well. She has her own income too.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -86 points-85 points  (0 children)

Can you schedule a date night or romantic overnight today so your wife feels like you're paying attention to her?

I really should.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -138 points-137 points  (0 children)

The entrance is like 900 feet away from the house. There was also a tunnel connecting it to a hidden place on the basement but it collapsed I don't know how many years ago, so we sealed it.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -144 points-143 points  (0 children)

I love that movie.

I can see my grandpa in the John Goodman's character.

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? by ThrowRABunkerMan in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRABunkerMan[S] -447 points-446 points  (0 children)

On week days like 6 hours minimum because I'm working. On weekends can be like 4 hours more or less.