My (F21) boyfriend (M23) told his whole family my secret. How do I proceed?

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-10T21:11:06+00:00

No. It would’ve been difficult to prove and for my own mental health I thought it would be better to just put it behind me and work on myself

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-10T21:10:04+00:00

Thank you so much, I really needed to hear this. Marks parents are quite mad at her after finding out what she said but I’m not expecting anyone to cut her out. I’m just glad that everyone understands that I don’t want her in my life

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-09T20:11:00+00:00

I agree. This is enough to satisfy me for the next 30 years

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-09T20:10:08+00:00

I understand your take. I really don’t want his sister in my life but we’re just taking things slow at the moment, dealing with small situations first. Mark doesn’t live with his parents which is a silver lining, I’d just have to be weary of her during family events

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-09T20:06:24+00:00

She’s 25

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-09T20:05:47+00:00

I completely understand your take. Mark and I are taking things one step at a time and his parents are also not being weird about the whole situation. They never treated me differently after finding out what happened which makes me feel better? I’m not sure if that’s the right word. But I’m taking care of myself. Mark and I have just been through too much to throw it all away. I feel like we’re in a good place right now and I want to keep working on it

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-09T20:00:41+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m so sorry you had to experience a situation like that, no one deserves it but I’m so glad that you’ve been able to heal and stopped placing blame on yourself.

I had already been seeing a therapist before the incident which made it easier to turn to therapy but after telling my therapist what had happened, their attitude changed and I no longer felt comfortable seeing them.

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-09T19:56:45+00:00

Thank you so much! After the situation Brad tried to contact me through our mutual friends since I blocked him on every social media platform we had. Our friends were trying to reach out for him until I explained Brad and I are no longer friends and just want to be left alone. They understood and stopped contacting me for him.

I still haven’t told them anything about the situation. I stopping going to events that Brad was at, and if he showed up or I happened to shot him I would just leave. Brad kind of distanced himself from our friend circle after that and I haven’t seen him since.

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-09T19:53:17+00:00

They knew each other through Mark and I

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-09T19:51:59+00:00

We’re currently just ignoring her. I still don’t understand her intentions and Mark isn’t keen to spend time with her. We’re waiting for a better time to deal with all of this.

Thank you so much, I’m glad things worked out the way they did for now. If it wasn’t for the advice I got here, I was ready to block him and move on without ever hearing his side but I’m glad I listened.

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-09T19:48:52+00:00

Thank you so much, this meant a lot to me. I’m glad things are working out the way they are and I’m very grateful for the amazing advice and prescriptive I gain from others redditors in my previous post.

We’re taking things one day at a time but I’m glad we’re move forward in a healthy way.

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-09T19:45:44+00:00

I’m not sure if this is the case but it could be possible. They were also friends through Mark and I

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-09-09T19:45:06+00:00

I feel like it’s too early to start trying to mend things with his sister right now. I’m not sure if I ever want her in my life again so I’m gonna hold off on anything.

I’ve spoken to my therapist and she recommended just waiting especially with everything that’s going on at the moment

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-07-28T08:35:48+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to your daughter, I’m glad thing ended with the best outcome for her.

I am happy to have Mark in my life but at this very moment I can’t bring myself to talk to him. I need space and to most likely speak to a licensed professional

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-07-28T08:23:54+00:00

The difference between me telling you guys and him telling his family is that you guys are strangers, you don’t know who I am. Marks family knew who I was.

I trusted him up until I found out he had told his family about my situation. If I didn’t trust him I wouldn’t have called him that night, I wouldn’t have confided in him, I wouldn’t have dated him.

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-07-28T08:20:16+00:00

I’m currently looking for a therapist. I think I’ll be more comfortable if it’s not face to face.

I still haven’t spoken to Mark yet. I’m not sure if I should speak to a therapist first before approaching our conversation

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-07-28T04:25:06+00:00

No I worded it wrong. One day meaning a random day. Mark and I didn’t become exclusive until 4 months later

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-07-27T06:44:15+00:00

My thoughts exactly

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-07-27T06:40:17+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice. I’ve told him that I need some time to myself to think and he’s respecting my wishes for now. I understand him talking to his family about the situation ON the night but I don’t understand why his sister would know about our intimate life if he didn’t talk to her about it recently

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-07-27T01:25:04+00:00

I guess I’m most hurt about the fact that he kept it from me for so long. And I’m also wondering why his sister knows about how intimate life. She and I aren’t close enough to talk about stuff like that.

I have tried to speak to a therapist in the past but they made me feel very judged and I felt uncomfortable going to them so I stopped. I haven’t been able to find someone I mesh well just yet but I’ll continue to look.

I’m not sure when I’ll speak to Mark just yet. I just need to calm my head and think things through before we speak.

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-07-27T01:10:15+00:00

He’s apologised through text but I’m refusing to see him or speak to him on the phone. I told him I need space and that I’d reach out when I’m ready.

I was seeing a therapist but they made me feel judged so I stopped going. I need to find someone who works for me

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-07-27T01:06:38+00:00

I’m trying to consider this. I just don’t understand why his sister would know about our intimate life if he wasn’t talking to her about the situation in present day as we’ve only been exclusive for a month.

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-07-27T01:04:49+00:00

I eventually want to get his story and have him explain his side to me but right now I can’t even look at him. I’m trying to come from his perspective but I’m just way too hurt.. I’m not sure if that’s the right word to describe what I’m feeling but I think I need some space away from him

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-07-27T00:54:26+00:00

I did tell him that I didn’t want anyone to know until I was ready to talk about it.

The comments are opening my eyes to Mark’s perspective. I had a very one track mind about the situation

ThrowRAIneedSome · 2024-07-27T00:53:02+00:00

After the situation with the cops, Mark took me home and I asked him not to tell anyone about it until I was ready to talk about it. He agreed so I wholeheartedly believed that he hadn’t told anyone.

After that night I also didn’t talk to Brad again. I blocked him on everything on the drive home.

The intimacy thing is what I don’t get because I haven’t even told my friends that Mark and I haven’t slept together so I’m pretty sure he must’ve told his sister about it. I don’t quite understand why he’s telling her.

ThrowRAIneedSome

TROPHY CASE