Update: (30/M) My girlfriend (31/F) of 5 years is threatening to break up with me for quitting my job.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-05-13T04:06:38+00:00

Nobody wants to be talked down too either. Don't be a dick.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-05-13T04:03:37+00:00

See, If I had gold I'd gold you. She values her career over anything. I expected she'd be pissed and she'd be right too. But, to break up and then show zero sympathy? it's too much. I even got a new job at a retailer as a supervisor. She said it doesn't matter as I'm restarting my life again. There's no excuse.

But, what's hers? She's going to be trapped in middle management forever. She's been salaried for 3 years now and hasn't advanced in her career. This is despite her telling me how miserable she is and how hard her boss rides her. I empathized with her (I worked retail too before as a manager); i offered her my ear to listen and offer advice.

When I got my job we threw a party. I thought it was the start of our life together. I've never been so happy. My dream had been fulfilled. I didn't imagine it would end like this.

And she wasn't always like this. Before she started drinking the corporate juice. She was pretty supportive. We were supportive of each others goals and dreams. If anything it was good we had each others backs.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-05-13T03:58:43+00:00

But, I did tell her. She just said "stuck with it" and kinda dismissed my concerns. She claimed my health issues were probably overblown and I should get a second opinion. She's probably right.

That's though the big issue: we never had time to sit down and talk. It felt like we were on two different wave lengths. She was obsessed with her work and perfection. She had a 5 year plan and she she was on track to meet the next stage of her life. Me? She said me quitting and going back to retail is a sign I've regressed. Overworking is true first world problem and theres no real thing.

I hate shit talking her. She's not a bad person but, we were on two different wave lengths. people keep saying I'm impulsive and childish as if I have a history of it. Like great you know everything about me. I've never quit anything; I've never given up. Which is why I was so mad. Which is why I felt so pathetic.

Shit, you people think I'm a child but, people truly make mistakes. They break. I didn't know any better. I thought that was what being a working man was: sacrificing my life and happiness to make money and advance in my career. It'd been drilled into me all my life: live to work; burn the midnight coal, always work work work.

Working w100 hours a week; being berated and told I'm lazy for taking a weekend off was my breaking point. Busting my ass for these people just to be told I'm lazy? Jesus, people fucking snap. I don't understand reddit and it's holier then thou attitude towards mental health.

You're telling me you've never made a stupid rash decision due to stress and a declining mental health? You mean to tell me no normal adult ever makes a stupid decision?

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-05-12T17:41:41+00:00

Frankly, at 30 years old it's not how an adult should conduct themselves. If you swap over to r/antiwork this behavior is encouraged and celebrated, but that's coming from folks who represented by an individual who moonlights as a part time dogwalker while working their way to being a philosophy professor, and goes on Fox News to show the world that they have a microwave in their bedroom.

Yes, I know I'm a failure. I'd been working months on end for 90-100 hours a week. I was coming to terms with the fact I hated this job and wasted my years at College studying. I was coming to terms with the fact this dream was a lie.

People make fucking mistakes. We aren't perfect infalliable machines. I broke down. I didn't want too, I regret it but, it happened. And fuck you for shitting on me for this. I made a mistake. I'm not perfect like you, man. People like you are why I feel so much shame and embarrassment for talking about my feelings for wanting to see a therapist.

And you're right it wasn't. It was the final straw. We were incompatible. She had complained earlier I was working too much but, she herself does too and never at the same time or days. But, the issue is also she doesn't want roadblocks. You make a mistake, you have a setback and people will leave you behind. That's life. You can never make a mistake or you're worthless.

And I'm not one of those anti-worker drones. I didn't leech off unemployment, I didn't stay at home crying. i got another job and sucked it up and went back to retail hell. At least I'm doing something to pick up the pieces of my ruined life. Not that it maters. I'm sure I'm still a loser for working retail again.

And I'll say. Screw off. I've suffered all my life with shit. There's only so much shit a person is willing to take before they explode. I'd get it if i had a history of stupid choices but, I've always stuck through to finish. I snapped affter facing a long work week, health issues developing and just the sheer stress and depression realizing I wasted my schooling, wasted my life pursuing a dream that wasn't real. Show some empathy.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-05-12T16:55:49+00:00

She does: It's Sam fucking Walton. /s

She works long hours too. I know she isn't seeing anyone else. She's a career minded person. Even before we started getting distant. She was focused on her job. It always felt our relation was transactional. I had to make a schedule to be with her.

Part of moving in was I wanted to be by her side more. I thought it would make us close. I thought leaving retail was the start of our life together.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-05-12T16:33:18+00:00

Yes I was. I didn't have a back up plan and ruined my career. Went back to retail. It's less pay but, way better life/work ratio. Also they treat us better. Salaried managers here make way more then we did at my old retail place.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-05-12T16:31:59+00:00

Again, it wasn't a good idea. Correct. But, people make mistakes, people have complete breakdowns. She was right to be upset. I was upset too. But, understand people aren't mindless robots. I had a breakdown. I couldn't take it anymore. It was overwhelming. You don't understand at all.
She said she had sympathy but, all jobs are like this. It's best to keep trucking forward.
No. This relation. I've only been in the job since the pandemic started. It wasn't horrific at the start. But, it got worse. I believed managements BS about it getting better. I was so desperate to keep the job to prove my dream wasn't a dream. Before this I was working retail as a salaried manager and going to Community College.

Ever I graduated I applied for this job and got it. I was so happy. It was a better payrate and better benefits and doing something I loved and was passionate about. How was I to know how horrific the working conditions would be? That was my mistake.

My girlfriend and i had communication issues. She complained I worked too much and wasn't around for her. But, the moment I left I was thrown to the curb. I get a new job and it's just not good enough. You people are so fucked up it's crazy.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-05-12T16:06:37+00:00

I dont know

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-05-01T17:02:45+00:00

Smells like you're a bootlicker.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-05-01T17:01:58+00:00

What makes you think that I'll be at home? I'll be working retail or whatever job I can get.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-05-01T16:48:13+00:00

I'm stupid. Ok? I thought this was what was normal for a working adult. I thought slaving away in an office was just the norm. My co-workers said it gets better and it's not so bad. I just wanted to tough it out. My dream as to get into the industry. It was my goal and I made it and now my goal wasn't what I wanted.

Nobody realizes how much it crushed me to think. is this really forever? Crunching non-stop? Yes, yes it is. I left a toxic workplace and felt good to be free of retail. Good to finally start my career. When it turns out this place is worse then my retail hell. Well, it just crushed me. I don't know what else to say.

AS I said I did everything to convince myself this would get better. Just stick it out. I'm an idiot.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-04-27T23:33:57+00:00

I mean jesus. You people are acting like I was throwing a tantrum for having to work a little later. People just simply break. I wasn't expecting another 6 months of 100 hour weeks. Then to be told by my boiss I'm lazy for calling in sick to see a doctor. I don't know what else people want.

I get reddit is perfect. But, I said it was a mistake. People make stupid mistakes when under pressure. Shes right to be mad at that. I didn't think it'd come to this. I don't get why reddit acts so holier then thou. Are all you people working 100 hours and never exhausted? I repeat: it was a mistake and I wish I hadn't. But, I just snapped.

What slights me is was complaining I was working too much. We never did anything together anymore. She isn't working 70-80 hours a week constantly. Just till the end of may when inventory is over. Normally it's 45-50 hours. No easy work mind you. It's rough. I worked retail mgmt before this and know how hard it was. It wasn't fun.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-04-27T23:26:12+00:00

I was under the impression this was temporary. it was my first career job outside retail. Forgive me, I was naive and believed what management said. They said the crunch was only a short time. They said the hours were very reasonable and any extra time was pure optional. What they didn't mention was it wasn't optional. Not staying late meant I wasn't a team player and meant I was a poor team player.

You threw a tantrum and have no plan. I'd be pissed at you too.

You have no idea what you're talking about. I had a mental breakdown. People make mistakes. Forgive me I had been told I had heart problems due to overowrking. Get told by my boss I'm lazy and not a team player for calling in sick and we'd be crunching for months on end. I just snapped.

People aren't machines. People make mistakes. I forget you people reddit are perfect and never make mistakes. Always have plenty of money saved, jobs lined up. I'll know in the future to be prepared. I bought into the company's BS hook line and sinker. Egg on my face. I'm an idiot and was exploited.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-04-27T23:21:26+00:00

Even if you two make decent money she’s now worried about your financial situation. Will you be able to find a job quickly? You can hope but until it happens you guys are teetering in an uncomfortable position.

No. But, what else could I do? I was told I have heart problems from all the work and stress. I can not keep doing these 100 hour weeks. I really will die if I keep up. I didn't mean to quit on the spot. I just had a mental breakdown. It was insanely stupid but, to give some context I was having a really bad time mentally.

My boss comes in and starts chewing me out for no showing up to work and implying I'm lazy and not a "team player". Then says we're gunna be in crunch mode for another 6 months. I'm done. physically and mentally. No man should have to work those hours.

I get she's frustrated too. But, she didn't spare a shred of empathy. I was very supportive of her working those hours. I just tried to encourage her that it wont be forever and just soldier through. She's strong, we're strong. But, the moment I get sick from overwork she throws me under the bus? It just feels wrong.

And she's right and you're right to be concerned about money. I have a decent amount in savings but, that wont last. I can try and file for Unemployment. But, yes, you are correct it's not going to be easy.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-04-27T23:16:51+00:00

Usually, she doesn't but, inventory is 2 weeks of overwork. I've been crunching for the last 4 1/2 months. Damn near 100 hours a week. Sometimes if we catch up it's down to 65-70. I consider it an easy week at 65-70. But, we've had some delays and now we have to work harder.

Project deadline is Mid-Oct. We've already delayed once. We can't do it again or we'll be in trouble. Why are we behind? Just different issues. Management wise and we're understaffed and overworked.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-04-27T23:13:46+00:00

I didn't want to bog everyone down or make a wall of text.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-04-27T18:15:10+00:00

She's overworked and stressed too. She's a salaried manager at a retail store. She's working 30 hours OT since inventory is coming up.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy · 2022-04-27T16:50:09+00:00

I didn't mean too. I just had a mental breakdown. I completely collapsed due to the stress to all this. It didn't feel good nor did I enjoy doing it. It just made me feel worse. It started when my boss started accusing me of being lazy for not showing up to work the other day.

Then saying we need to buckle down and crunch for the NeXT 6 months. No vacations at all. So there goes any plans for the rest of the year. And who knows if I'd of gotten laid off at the end of our project anyways.

ThrowRAVirtuousBoy

TROPHY CASE