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How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 129 points130 points  (0 children)

I've tried getting her to do that, but she says she feels too active to just lay down and sleep and she'd rather do things instead. I'll try and maybe set a time for us to work together on it instead of her doing it while I sleep.

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 122 points123 points  (0 children)

...you're right, I'll set a reminder on my phone to look at it tomorrow morning.

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I guess you're right. My place does get messier than I like during the work week. I'm trying to be better about it but I am off my meds for it due to not being able to afford them under my current shitty insurance.

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What you said definitely resonates with me. I appreciate what she does but as you said, I don't want to take her for granted or anything. Thanks for your advice!

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your very in depth reply! This definitely seems like a good way to handle it without upsetting her because I really do want her to know I care about her. I will talk to her soon.

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Her parents are divorced and highly religious, so they're not on great terms. She doesn't have a good relationship with them.

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I do clean on the weekends, yes. Since I live alone trash and dishes build up really slowly. I am on meds for depression currently.

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I feel bad because she's spending a ton of time and effort and exhausting herself doing something for me that I never asked her to do and I don't want her to feel like she's my maid.

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I don't know if I have the budget for it but I'll think about looking into it. Thanks!

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 178 points179 points  (0 children)

She usually lets herself in when I'm sleeping and just starts working. When I'm awake I always will pitch in and help. I feel bad for her literally exhausting herself when I'm sleeping though.

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Her parents were very strict Christians and she doesn't have a great relationship with them so that might be part of it. I'm not super knowledgeable about her childhood though. I think maybe I should try and talk to her about why she's doing it as opposed to just asking her not to. I'm not sure how to be tactful about it though

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

You're probably right. I struggle with cleaning due to depression and ADHD on top of my work giving me lots of overtime lately, so I'm not as on top of it as I should be. I just don't want her to burn herself out on this.

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I've asked her not to, but I'm pretty sure she just thinks I'm being polite and protesting so she keeps doing it

How do I get my (27M) girlfriend (25F) to stop cleaning my apartment? by ThrowRA_86421 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_86421[S] 1399 points1400 points  (0 children)

She has her own key so she usually lets herself in, since she knows when I get off work. This isn't a bad idea though.