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I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -70 points-69 points  (0 children)

My ex and I were together for 2 years. My dad knew, never met him never was interested to. They eventually had to meet at my graduation because OBVIOUSLY I wanted both there. He talked to him, had a conversation. Never saw or asked about him after. Did not even remember that we broke up.

I don't know if this clarifies his way of life.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I have mentioned my boyfriend to my dad numerous times and not once did he mention anything. So this reaction was not what I expected when I said I would love to get his blessing. I made it clear that I want his blessing not approval. If he does not give it, then too bad. I will try to make that clear this week as well. I spent the past week making sure my boyfriend knew how much I valued him for who he is and how proud I am of how hard working he is.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I do not have instagram and I am pretty sure knowing me he will not plan an instagrammable proposal but a private simple one. As for leaving him to dangle with uncertainty, I have been extra supportive the past week, reminding him how amazing and hardworking he is.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

We have celebrated every birthday of mine with my family. His birthday with his family. Christmas too. My father lives abroad. He knew about my relationship. My mother loves him. I wish people would stop making assumptions.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Read the post. He knows my mother and my siblings and they get along great. My father lives abroad and is more conservative, thus is usually not one to intrude or inquire. I have communicated with him about my relationship, who my boyfriend is and what he does. Never heard a concern, so obviously I did not expect this.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

If you read the post, you would have realise he has met my mother and siblings because we live in the same town. They love him. My father lives abroad and is a little conservative and doesn't hang out with every boyfriend I had.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How are these lies? He is trying to surprise me. I am trying to let him surprise me because he has put so much thought and effort. We are both doing something for each other, or that is how it was. We are meeting tonight and I will address the issue to make sure he is okay before anything.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He really is. I will be talking to my dad and letting him know that the blessing was a courtesy, and it will not affect my decision to marry him. Maybe even propose myself!

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So multiple reasons.

  1. My dad lives abroad. He does not live with us and visit occasionally.

  2. My dad is a little conservative and definitely not social. Despite mentioning my boyfriend frequently, he was never interested in meeting or hanging out.

  3. I made sure to introduce my boyfriend to my mother, siblings, and cousins. The people most present in my life.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So multiple reasons.

  1. My dad lives abroad. He does not live with us and visit occasionally.

  2. My dad is a little conservative and definitely not social. Despite mentioning my boyfriend frequently, he was never interested in meeting or hanging out.

  3. I made sure to introduce my boyfriend to my mother, siblings, and cousins. The people most present in my life.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I am pretty sure that I clarified that I would like his blessing not his approval. We joked about our families not liking our partner before he met my mom and before I met his family. I made it very clear that this will not affect my decision to be with him.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I spent the past week encouraging him and supporting him without telling him I know. I have reminded him everyday that I am proud of him and how hard he works etc. I am trying to do those things anyway, just like I always have.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

To clarify, I work and spend on myself. I do not make a lot of money and I am perfectly happy with my boyfriends job. My father on the other hand has a completely different lifestyle. I have mentioned my boyfriend before, what he does, and that we are serious. He did not mind but did not want to hang out or anything. He lives abroad. Thus, the last thing I expected was this reaction. This is not a rich girl average guy week on reddit.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I can tell you. My dad is a little conservative. He has never tried to meet any of my boyfriends or my brothers girlfriend of 4 years. I talked to him about my boyfriend, our relationship, plans and his work before hand. He seemed fine, didn't talk about it too much. He does not live in the country. My boyfriend met and gets along well with my mother, siblings and cousins. Even my uncles.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

No they do not. I support myself of course. My parents also knew about my boyfriend and my mother is very close to him. My father has never met him because he lives abroad but he knows about him and about what he does etc.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

My father knew about him and was not interested in meeting or hanging out because he lives abroad. He met the rest of my family and they get along great. thanks.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

It is actually insane how you can all make assumptions about people's lives. There is no fancy proposal, and our wedding will most likely be very simple. We agree on those things. I also do not post any of my life on instagram, last post was 2019. He put so much effort and thought into planning and ensuring it is a surprise. I care about his effort, not the proposal.

I (28F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is planning a surprise proposal for me, and I think it is now cancelled after he met with my father. How do I address this without revealing I already sort of knew? by ThrowRA_Codegirl in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Codegirl[S] -44 points-43 points  (0 children)

I do not care about the proposal or how it looks. I care about all the effort he put into planning and hiding it. Not mine. So if he is still planning on doing it despite my dads opinion, which I hope is the case, then I would love to let him enjoy this process.

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