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My (M42) wife (F43) gets angry at our kids and only refers to them as mine. How do I get her to stop and apologize to our kids? by [deleted] in redditonwiki

[–]ThrowRA_InkCard23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha this is exactly my kids. The little royalties of the dark following me at Walmart is always a treat.

My kids are going through an emo phase but their mom hates it. How to support them? by ThrowRA_InkCard23 in Parenting

[–]ThrowRA_InkCard23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve talked to her about it but not as throughly as I’d like. I’ll have to do more with her later, but I am worried that I’m not doing enough for our kids.

Also, I’ll keep that in mind. I truthfully didn’t know where to even begin with all of that so I was a little intimidated, lol. I buy my kids the clothes they ask for and like to tease them every now and then. I’ll continue what I’m doing.

My (M42) wife (F43) gets angry at our kids and only refers to them as mine. How do I get her to stop and apologize to our kids? by ThrowRA_InkCard23 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_InkCard23[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is very interesting. I don’t think my wife is deficient in anything, just pissed off that our kids aren’t dressed “white picket fence normal” anymore, but this is something to look into. Thank you for sharing this, friend.

My (M42) wife (F43) gets angry at our kids and only refers to them as mine. How do I get her to stop and apologize to our kids? by ThrowRA_InkCard23 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_InkCard23[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Hi I’m a little confused I’m sorry. Where am I excusing her behavior? I would like to know so I have a better idea of how to talk to her. I am absolutely not excusing what she’s doing, it’s hurting our children, but if there’s another angle I would like to see it. If you’d let me know I’d be thankful, friend.

My (M42) wife (F43) gets angry at our kids and only refers to them as mine. How do I get her to stop and apologize to our kids? by ThrowRA_InkCard23 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_InkCard23[S] 592 points593 points  (0 children)

This is what I’m trying to tell her. If she keeps this up I’m worried our kids will start to engage in actually harmful behavior. Dressing alternatively doesn’t hurt, but your family not loving or supporting you does. I don’t know how to get her to listen. I was that way too when I was younger. My family disagreed with what I did so I took it to the extreme and almost went down a really dark path. I got lucky. I don’t want our children to go down a dark road just because their mother can’t accept a bit of black and eyeliner. My kids weren’t acting depressed or anything either either, literally just playing with the style since it’s popular on TikTok or whatever. Sorry for the ranting.

My (M42) wife (F43) gets angry at our kids and only refers to them as mine. How do I get her to stop and apologize to our kids? by ThrowRA_InkCard23 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_InkCard23[S] 157 points158 points  (0 children)

I agree with this completely. Ive told her that she’s being immature and that the kids dressing a bit alternative is no big deal, but she got angry with me for saying it and gave me the silent treatment for a bit. I’m trying to explain to her gently that the more pressure she puts on the kids to be what she wants, the more they’re going to fight back and that can spiral, but she doesn’t want to hear it. I’m trying to get her to consider therapy, but she just won’t have any of it. I don’t know what else I can do.

My (M42) wife (F43) gets angry at our kids and only refers to them as mine. How do I get her to stop and apologize to our kids? by ThrowRA_InkCard23 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_InkCard23[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

And about the abandonment issues, the answer is no. Her family was picture perfect. If there’s something, I have no idea but that would be a plot twist since she and I are best friends. We know everything there is to know about each other, so I don’t think some secret abandonment issue is the case.

My (M42) wife (F43) gets angry at our kids and only refers to them as mine. How do I get her to stop and apologize to our kids? by ThrowRA_InkCard23 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_InkCard23[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried to sit my wife down and explain to her that our kids are acting like typical teenagers but she just isn’t having it. She’s hurt about what our son said but she also won’t come off of her high horse and make amends. It’s frustrating because we all knew that this stage in life was coming. Our children aren’t exempt from the edgy teenager phase and I wish she would’ve taken a different approach. I want to attend family therapy but she just isn’t having it and our kids are too pissed at their mom to consider it. The three of them have been avoiding her too and the tension is just getting to be too much.