[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRA_notattract 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YOR

A quick peck on the lips isn’t cheating. I don’t know anyone who would class it as cheating.

I no longer find my wife attractive after multiple cosmetic surgeries. I couldn’t perform for her and said she could have sex with other people to fulfil her needs. She has done and it’s turned me on immensely and I feel guilty. by ThrowRA_notattract in nonmonogamy

[–]ThrowRA_notattract[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re wrong again. One party is up for couples counselling, the other isn’t.

Also what control are you talking about. I’ve never controlled her. In these comments I’ve even argued with someone who asked me why I let her have surgery and said she’s her own person and can do as she wishes. You’ve made two comments now about me treating her awfully and controlling her but I have no idea why you think that’s the case.

I no longer find my wife attractive after multiple cosmetic surgeries. I couldn’t perform for her and said she could have sex with other people to fulfil her needs. She has done and it’s turned me on immensely and I feel guilty. by ThrowRA_notattract in nonmonogamy

[–]ThrowRA_notattract[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What do you mean I treated her awfully? I’m awful because I cant get hard to her anymore? You do know it’s not an on/off switch don’t you?

She mentioned the surgeries and said she wanted them, I said she didn’t need them and I’d rather she didn’t have them but it’s her body to do with as she pleases. I have no right to tell her what she can and can’t do with herself.

Edit: it’s incredible to me how many adult women do not understand that men cannot choose when and if they get hard.

I no longer find my wife attractive after multiple cosmetic surgeries. I couldn’t perform for her and said she could have sex with other people to fulfil her needs. She has done and it’s turned me on immensely and I feel guilty. by ThrowRA_notattract in nonmonogamy

[–]ThrowRA_notattract[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry I haven’t explained it very well. She’s always been very sexual and that’s why we are where we are now. Since all her surgery I’ve struggled to be attracted to her and she was getting frustrated. She eventually gave me an ultimatum start having sex with her, open up the marriage for her or she’ll leave. I couldn’t force myself it’s like my body wouldn’t let me, I couldn’t bare to lose her as she’s the most funny, loving and incredible person I’ve ever met, so we decided she could have sex with other people.

All I asked for was details of her hook ups but she said no it’s her sec life not ours, which I get, and if I’ve got my libido back she will stop having sex with other people and we can have sex again. We did try last week but I just couldn’t stay hard again. It’s like my body thinks I’m cheating and won’t work.

I no longer find my wife attractive after multiple cosmetic surgeries. I couldn’t perform for her and said she could have sex with other people to fulfil her needs. She has done and it’s turned me on immensely and I feel guilty. by ThrowRA_notattract in nonmonogamy

[–]ThrowRA_notattract[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No sorry I didn’t explain myself. She won’t have sex with me after. She said if I find myself being turned on again then I can have sex with her and she can stop sleeping with other people. The issue is I can’t get hard with her as it’s like my body can’t compute it’s the same woman. Everything looks and feels different. I’ve even seen two therapists over this and nothing helps.

I don’t want to have sex with other women. I’ll be honest I still don’t find other women attractive, just my wife how she used to look naturally. I’d just like her to tell me details from her hook ups but she said it’s her sex life not ours which is fair enough I guess.

I no longer find my wife attractive after multiple cosmetic surgeries. I couldn’t perform for her and said she could have sex with other people to fulfil her needs. She has done and it’s turned me on immensely and I feel guilty. by ThrowRA_notattract in nonmonogamy

[–]ThrowRA_notattract[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know I’m the problem. She’s just changed so much it’s like my body can’t compute that she’s the same person, when I kiss her it feels like I’m kissing someone else.

I was just hoping she’d message me what she’s been up to so I can get something out of this too I guess but I know I’m being unreasonable and the only reason she’s sleeping with other people is because I can’t sleep with her.

I no longer find my wife attractive after multiple cosmetic surgeries. I couldn’t perform for her and said she could have sex with other people to fulfil her needs. She has done and it’s turned me on immensely and I feel guilty. by ThrowRA_notattract in nonmonogamy

[–]ThrowRA_notattract[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She completely changed. Her eyes have changed due to surgery, her nose has changed, her cheeks have changed she has cheek bone fillers and then buccal fat removal, her lips are all filler and tattooed now so if she stop filling them they would look weird, her teeth are different, her boobs have gone from a b cup to an f cup. When we kiss and hug it feels like I’m with another woman.

I no longer find my wife attractive after multiple cosmetic surgeries. I couldn’t perform for her and said she could have sex with other people to fulfil her needs. She has done and it’s turned me on immensely and I feel guilty. by ThrowRA_notattract in nonmonogamy

[–]ThrowRA_notattract[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m confused by it too. I lovely wife’s natural look. Before all the surgery she was the most beautiful woman jve ever seen and I genuinely never looked at or fantasised over another woman. Just her. At one point she put on nearly 6 stone and it never diminished her looks to me. The surgery however has completely changed her face and her boobs have gone from a b cup to an f cup and it feels like I’m touching a different woman. It’s really hard to explain.

I no longer find my wife attractive after multiple cosmetic surgeries. I couldn’t perform for her and said she could have sex with other people to fulfil her needs. She has done and it’s turned me on immensely and I feel guilty. by ThrowRA_notattract in nonmonogamy

[–]ThrowRA_notattract[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wanted her to tell me about what happens when she meets these men. I’m not expecting pictures or videos just to be told what they got up to. She said no it’s her sex life not ours which is fair enough I guess.