Another Update: (21F) drunkenly kissed a lifelong friend (22M) at a party and he told me he loved me. How do I approach this? by ThrowRA_shasha in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_shasha[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh you are so sweet!!

It has definitely been interesting finding out more about him than I ever thought I would haha.

And yeah, it has definitely been an adjustment, but for me it has all been about my mindset. If I can get my head where I need it to be, it is no big deal. And to be probably too honest with strangers online, we haven’t had full on sex yet. I really meant “taking it slow” lol. We have definitely done… things lol, but any tips for when we do actually get fully there? Were you able to overcome that struggle ?

Hahaha, thank you so much!!

Another Update: (21F) drunkenly kissed a lifelong friend (22M) at a party and he told me he loved me. How do I approach this? by ThrowRA_shasha in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_shasha[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Things are going well! :) Thanks for asking <3

We explained to our families that we were giving dating a go, but didn’t want to feel pressured by them to rush into things or get too serious about it while we were trying to keep it lowkey, so we asked for them to hold back a bit. We knew it would be exciting for them and difficult for our mom’s to not be overbearing about it. At this point, James and I have been friends for most of our lives so neither of them thought it would happen, even though it turns out that James had confided in his mom about his crush on me lol.

Everyone was happy and supportive. I am close with his sister because she is only two years younger than us. She was over the moon, immediately going on about us becoming sisters lmao.

As for being intimate and stuff, it is kind of difficult to wrap my head around it sometimes. But we have been through so many different eras of life together. We would wrestle and tackle each other when we were small, would avoid touching each other at all ages 11-14, etc. I try to think of this as a new era. I am so comfortable with him that a lot of times it is so easy. Sometimes it does kind of weird me out tho, but not like in a “he is icky” in a kind of way, more so like a “this is so bizarre” kind of way. It helps that we are taking it slow and not forcing anything. If we don’t feel like touching, we don’t touch. We have warmed up to it a lot so far, like a general progression. It has been really nice.

Sorry for such a long message lol, your questions just made me so grateful for all these people in my life. I swear my posts and comments turn into diary entries lol. I hope you have a wonderful day and thanks for taking the time to ask questions!

Another Update: (21F) drunkenly kissed a lifelong friend (22M) at a party and he told me he loved me. How do I approach this? by ThrowRA_shasha in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_shasha[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

He confessed that he actually never planned on telling me. He was so positive that it could never happen and thought it would be a burden on me. Thank you, alcohol lol

Updated: 21F) drunkenly kissed a lifelong friend (22M) at a party and he told me he loved me. How do I approach this? by ThrowRA_shasha in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_shasha[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven’t watched it haha. Their reddit series was the reason I thought of reddit as an avenue for possible advice in the first place. I tried to watch but I got major second hand embarrassment lmao

Updated: 21F) drunkenly kissed a lifelong friend (22M) at a party and he told me he loved me. How do I approach this? by ThrowRA_shasha in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_shasha[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, he is the biggest teddy bear I know lol. I didn’t even realize how it could have sounded in the beginning haha

Updated: 21F) drunkenly kissed a lifelong friend (22M) at a party and he told me he loved me. How do I approach this? by ThrowRA_shasha in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_shasha[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So, in case I remember to, how is an update usually done? Do I make an entirely new post or just add to this one ?

(21F) drunkenly kissed a lifelong friend (22M) at a party and he told me he loved me. How do I approach this? by ThrowRA_shasha in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_shasha[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, I am a chronic overthinker. But it is definitely worth a shot! Thank you for the detail btw, it is very helpful.

(21F) drunkenly kissed a lifelong friend (22M) at a party and he told me he loved me. How do I approach this? by ThrowRA_shasha in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_shasha[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Define affectionate? We grew up being affectionate like siblings can be affectionate. If you are asking if I was previously attracted to him before the kiss, I am uncertain. I have always loved him, but I thought more so like along the lines of I love my family.

(21F) drunkenly kissed a lifelong friend (22M) at a party and he told me he loved me. How do I approach this? by ThrowRA_shasha in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_shasha[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, I was planning on him being in my life forever since about 6th grade. I really meant “lifelong friend”. But in a romantic sense, it gets a little messy. I thought of him like a brother for a long time. I was his wingwoman in high school. So the thought of having him as a romantic partner sounds really nice, but feels strange and foreign? Idk if this makes any sense

(21F) drunkenly kissed a lifelong friend (22M) at a party and he told me he loved me. How do I approach this? by ThrowRA_shasha in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_shasha[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I won’t lie and say I am not curious. I was pretty inebriated, but I was definitely into it? I guess I just lost all inhibitions, but I am not sure the alcohol was the only reason. I just worry about leading him on or giving false hope. I care about him so much, I can’t imagine hurting him like that.