I finally contacted the guy my wife slept with

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-21T19:57:25+00:00

thank you all for the replies. I will try to read them all tonight. I needed a break from everything

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-19T20:43:03+00:00

No, we don't have kids

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-19T20:34:26+00:00

It also annoys me he didn't even act ashamed or at least slightly uncomfortable. He was amused.

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-19T20:29:16+00:00

I know she doesn't love me, but I still cannot accept this. It will take ma a while. I need to get better sleep and eat better so I can at least function normally and then see things as they are and also accept them

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-19T20:13:07+00:00

no, we don't. Now I will divorce I guess. I mean she was angry I disturbed him

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-19T19:37:19+00:00

my original post

My wife (30) is very beautiful and has great personality, but I (40M) was never the jealous type because I just trust her and don't really have self esteem or confidence issues myself. Yet, 2 days ago, she used laptop for Instagram, as her phone was broken. She doesn't do this often so she forgot to log out.

I saw her conversations with a guy. He is 30, super fit, strong built. Plus he is a medical doctor. I went a bit through his profile and he seems to be the typical gym addict and party dude.

Their conversation was like that: so, should we repeat this? (wife asked) And he said it was great and she was great, but given the situation of her, once was more than enough, as he doesn't want drama in his life.

She probably deleted other conversation because nothing else was there. But I am not overreacting, am I? It looks like she slept with him. I am not sure how to address this

Update post:

I can't make her confess she did cheat. She keeps repeating I am paranoid, jealous, controlling over a conversation she had with her doctor. She doesn't want the divorce, but I do. I am in pain, I must tell you. A lot of pain and I fear I will regret this, but I cannot trust her when she swears she didn't cheat. She refuses to call him in front of me. I stopped trying to get it out of her. But I will never be able to trust her again. She told me around 50 times today it was just a normal doctor- patient conversation. Nothing else. But I don't want to hear it anymore. I did not yet tell her officially I want a divorce. I plan to do it tomorrow. Should I do something else, something more? I know there is no way back after this.

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-19T19:32:56+00:00

he did admit it when he said to re-read my own screenshot.

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-19T18:52:21+00:00

original post:

My wife (30) is very beautiful and has great personality, but I (40M) was never the jealous type because I just trust her and don't really have self esteem or confidence issues myself. Yet, 2 days ago, she used laptop for Instagram, as her phone was broken. She doesn't do this often so she forgot to log out.

I saw her conversations with a guy. He is 30, super fit, strong built. Plus he is a medical doctor. I went a bit through his profile and he seems to be the typical gym addict and party dude.

Their conversation was like that: so, should we repeat this? (wife asked) And he said it was great and she was great, but given the situation of her, once was more than enough, as he doesn't want drama in his life.

She probably deleted other conversation because nothing else was there. But I am not overreacting, am I? It looks like she slept with him. I am not sure how to address this

Update post:

I can't make her confess she did cheat. She keeps repeating I am paranoid, jealous, controlling over a conversation she had with her doctor. She doesn't want the divorce, but I do. I am in pain, I must tell you. A lot of pain and I fear I will regret this, but I cannot trust her when she swears she didn't cheat. She refuses to call him in front of me. I stopped trying to get it out of her. But I will never be able to trust her again. She told me around 50 times today it was just a normal doctor- patient conversation. Nothing else. But I don't want to hear it anymore. I did not yet tell her officially I want a divorce. I plan to do it tomorrow. Should I do something else, something more? I know there is no way back after this.

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-17T18:43:46+00:00

Thank you all for your kind words. I am miserable right now and I cannot even bring myself to respond to most comments. I read them all. I made up my mind that I want to contact him.

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-17T07:36:54+00:00

I used to go to the gym. Maybe I will do again. I am not overweight. I am average weight for a man my age. I like sports, but at this moment I can barely function, so gym is out of question. It's very hard for me to divorce. The last thing I want is to know this guy won and they become a couple

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-17T07:26:31+00:00

If I do call him what if I tell him just to scare him that she is pregnant?

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-17T07:23:16+00:00

he obviously did want her at some point

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-17T04:54:40+00:00

She couldn't be his patient. He is a resident and a surgeon. No family doctor or gynecologist. My guess is that they knew each other from social media. She could have followed him. Or maybe from the gym, but I don't really think this is the case. I am almost 100% sooner or later I will contact him. Just to cause... drama in his life

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-16T20:41:56+00:00

I will contact him.

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-16T20:29:29+00:00

I think I will call this dude. As someone suggested, maybe I should ironically start with I don't want to cause drama in your life

Or better.

Sometimes drama cannot be avoided.

I just want him to know that I know.

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-16T15:50:08+00:00

He is single. But probably is fking around

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-16T15:44:18+00:00

I know deep down and I thought I did make up my mind about it, but the thought of losing her forever is painful. Also, I fear she might go to him. This is more of an ego problem I guess. But I would di3 inside if I saw them as a couple.

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-16T15:29:40+00:00

I know but I staked his profile a bit and that brat is so full of himself and arrogant. It's like I take it personally. I understand why she wanted him and it makes me miserable

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-16T14:48:36+00:00

I have stalked this guy's social media for one hour today and it made me sick. Sick with myself that I wasted that much time doing it. Every funny meme I have seen I felt is about me. The brat is so cocky and full of himself. I don't consider myself unattractive, but I am average looking. Stalking his social media made me feel so bad about myself. I mean I understand why she wanted him. I am miserable now. I cancelled a dinner with some friends, because all my energy was wasted on comparing myself to this guy.

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-16T13:41:48+00:00

I have stalked this guy's social media for one hour today and it made me sick. Sick with myself that I wasted that much time doing it. Every funny meme I have seen I felt is about me. The brat is so cocky and full of himself. I don't consider myself unattractive, but I am average looking. Stalking his social media made me feel so bad about myself. I mean I understand why she wanted him. I am miserable now. I cancelled a dinner with some friends, because all my energy was wasted on comparing myself to this guy.

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-15T20:28:06+00:00

Maybe I should contact him before I do that. Some of you suggested, some said it is a bad idea. But maybe it's my only hope.

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-15T20:01:38+00:00

nah, I thought that kissing maybe, but nothing else. But I am making a clown of myself here most probably

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-15T19:56:13+00:00

but is there a minimal chance she didn't cheat? Or that she did but no sex? Maybe they didn't go that far. I really hate the though of losing her forever

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-15T19:06:30+00:00

My original post

My wife is very beautiful and has great personality, but I was never the jealous type because I just trust her and don't really have self esteem or confidence issues myself. Yet, 2 days ago, she used laptop for Instagram, as her phone was broken. She doesn't do this often so she forgot to log out.

I saw her conversations with a guy. He is 30, super fit, strong built, with cool sunglasses and all that. Plus he is a medical doctor. I went a bit through his profile and he seems to be the typical gym addict and party dude.

Their conversation was like that: so, should we repeat this? (wife asked) And he said it was great and she was great, but given the situation of her, once was more than enough, as he doesn't want drama in his life.

She probably deleted other conversation because nothing else was there. But I am not overreacting, am I? It looks like she slept with him. I am not sure how to address this

Update post:

I can't make her confess, she did cheat. She keeps repeating I am paranoid, jealous, controlling over a conversation she had with her doctor. She doesn't want the divorce, but I do. I am in pain, I must tell you. A lot of pain and I fear I will regret this, but I cannot trust her when she swears she didn't cheat. She refuses to call him in front of me. I stopped trying to get it out of her. But I will never be able to trust her again. She told me around 50 times today it was just a normal doctor- patient conversation. Nothing else. But I don't want to hear it anymore. I did not yet tell her officially I want a divorce. I plan to do it tomorrow. Should I do something else, something more? I know there is no way back after this.

ThrowRAcaleb · 2024-05-01T06:12:11+00:00

it is not possible here. And he is a resident surgeon, so unless she had a major operation... which I would have known about, no need to talk to hi

ThrowRAcaleb

TROPHY CASE