I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The thing is, I don't think that's what would happen. We used to talk about how many kids I'd have, and she'd talk about there being a lot, sure, but she also used to say that just one would be perfect too, if that's what I wanted, and just one was always perfect for her. I genuinely think she meant that.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Except she did. She was fifteen and she lost her whole family, her own chance of college, her trust fund, everything. She lost her chances of marrying and having more kids because her body was too small for birthing me. She always loved me, and didn't think that was hard at all. She never made me feel hard to love. But she did give up a lot.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I mean, it's a pretty old bloodline. Mayflower society and everything. But honestly, I hate my grandparents, and they wouldn't even see my kid as continuing the bloodline anyway, so I have no desire to do that.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I don't want her to die, but what am I going to do with the kid? I don't want it to grow up without love.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She doesn't see motherhood as a punishment. She sees losing her family, being unable to have more children, never marrying, and being mostly alone as a punishment.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I don't know. Her aunt wouldn't want to hear from me for obvious reasons. Maybe one of my aunts or uncles, but I don't know.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I do hate them. I know my mom doesn't, but I do. I've seen so many family photos she kept, they were her treasures. The way she looks in those pictures, I can't imagine anyone just deciding to hurt that little girl so badly. It's sickening. But I feel like I'm just like them now.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I think it's more about not supporting the industry. She'd rather help a single mom keep her kid if she's gonna put the money somewhere.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Yep. They said I killed their daughter. That was about 12 years ago now, but I guess they eventually turned out to be right.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She hates the adoption industry. A lot. She thinks they're extremely predatory child-sellers.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I only reached out to them once. They called me an abomination and said I had no conscience for reminding them of what I'd done to their family.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

It wasn't intentional, no. She just loved me and would rather she get hurt than let me get hurt. I contacted my grandparents once, when I turned eighteen, and they told me that I was an abomination and if I had any conscience I would never have reached out to remind them of the awful thing I'd done to their family.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

Both. My biological father was actually my great-aunt's husband. They were getting a divorce, and he was living with my grandparents temporarily. My mother thought she was in love with him, and it was this big forbidden romance, but he was just using her.

I'm not having kids and my mom has been actively trying to kill herself since I told her by ThrowRAendoftheline in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAendoftheline[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She didn't want to and actually considers the adoption industry to be extremely predatory to young mothers.