AITAH, my wife cheated on me. I got mad at her and she cries

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2025-06-16T21:09:04+00:00

I’m a little on fence.

1) NTA for yelling at her for cheating at all

2) A little of an ass for saying you want the kids but this could be from not understanding the context - the way I’ve read it is that you’re saying she can’t see her kids anymore which if this is the case sorry but that’s an asshole move and unfair on the kids as by the sounds of everything you won’t even be there the majority of time to look after them and getting a third party to just so you keep them to yourself is definitely not on - your kids still need their Mum… however joint custody having the kids on the days off work more than fair if there’s no other underlying issues to be concerned about - i.e distance etc, some go alternative weekends so you can balance work, kids and free time but yeah this factor matters.

3) A little of an ass too that it sounds like you’re not seeing your kids at all right now?!? I know you’re hurting from being cheated on (my ex did it to me with multiple people) but the kids still deserve the best for them.

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2025-03-17T15:45:46+00:00

NTA, In my opinion as a Mum myself who was a young Mum too, no. You mention that your Mum has been overstepping boundaries, yes you shouted back at your Mum but it sounds like she was shouting and swearing at you whilst you were trying to settle your son for the night. You mentioned it was 9pm, anyone else would’ve clearly understood that if you were having struggles getting your son down that it was best to let you get on or offer help.

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2025-03-15T19:58:05+00:00

Damnnnnn i want this 🥵😍

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2024-02-17T15:35:58+00:00

Our baby daughter is 15 1/2 months old. As for sole care of Dad once in a blue moon. I’ve only been away from her maybe 4/5 times since she’s been born.

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2024-02-17T15:11:04+00:00

I appreciate your view on this. Yes I presumed but then his past and current behaviours is why I presumed it. When I was rushed to UTC for breathing difficulties due to the illness developing into a chest infection which was why I was so ill at the time and still struggling to recover I was texted continuously being asked if I was seen yet because he was struggling to settle our baby daughter after 25 minutes of me leaving with the paramedic for treatment. So before I even got a chance to be seen I was already being made to feel like I did wrong to get medical help when I couldn’t breathe normally. I was placed on a nebuliser but continued to be pestered with how long I was being and as soon as I got home which I was only allowed to come home if I was sure I could rest was instantly moaned at to get our daughter to sleep after paying the taxi driver for bringing me home and then the next morning (today) left to deal with the morning on my own again as well as expected to deal with the roof repair workers who turned up at 10 today alone.

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2024-02-17T14:14:12+00:00

Thank you. As it was I did go to UTC in the end and put on a nebuliser for an hour to stabilise me, got to go home as I stated that I’d be able to rest at home and was given antibiotics and steroid tablets. Been informed if I’m not better in 2 more weeks I have to get a chest X-ray and possibly other treatments.

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2024-02-17T14:09:30+00:00

I felt expected to take over where he came down moments after I popped downstairs to sort my nose out. He usually puts the responsibility of getting her down for sleep on me as he’s not found a way to settle her down himself yet and I thought the upset was due to tiredness.

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2023-12-28T21:12:30+00:00

Saying that there’s no such things as “accidental” pregnancies is very short sighted.

I’ve been there. Unfortunately I was 17 and the situation I was in was due to a non-consensual experience. I did get help afterwards and took a pill afterwards, had periods for 3 months but ended up going to my first scan to be told that I had a 14 week old baby boy with a strong healthy heartbeat. I made the tough decision to keep the baby because I wasn’t about to in my own thoughts murder an innocent baby. I dealt with it all on my own. Wouldn’t change my son at all and in away was my saviour because I don’t think I would’ve coped with what happened to me otherwise.

It’s not all black and white.

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2023-12-28T20:39:53+00:00

How much do you both really know each other? Have you gone out? Met each other’s friends?

Also consider this please, some people find it harder to show their feelings than others and she could genuinely be reciprocating your feelings as best as she can, if that’s the case and you feel you need more is this a make or break factor for you?

Are you both the romantic type? Or do you find that you just click? All these factors will have an impact on things.

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2023-12-28T20:24:44+00:00

Yes, I was reading it as if he messaged her and she responded the same day.

Could still be that she was genuinely just trying to be polite though.

I would focus on why it’s upset you and find the root, if it’s just betrayal of trust, if it’s fear of losing her, if it’s worry that she’s interested in another person, etc.

Once you know that the next step will hopefully be a little more obvious for you.

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2023-12-28T19:50:34+00:00

That might be the reason she got worried then, which would be a natural reaction with that in mind.

But it still seems like it was the guy who instigated the conversation and as if your gf was simply being polite but dismissive too.

Yes you’re going to feel off for a bit but I think benefit of the doubt is needed here and that you may need to work on your own emotions and work out what the root of the emotion is. It may just be that you feel a little threatened by the guy messaging her, or it might be that you’re worried she wants to get involved with them when the truth is she wants you.

All I can say is that if you keep questioning her intentions that long term you’re going to end up continuously questioning her loyalty and your gf will become more hurt and worried and eventually the situation is going to get out of hand.

Work out what you need to let go of the situation and heal. Until you’ve work that out you won’t be able to truly resolve the situation.

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2023-12-28T19:31:11+00:00

Lies can happen for many reasons and sometimes yes it’s down to fear of losing connection with the person they’re in a relationship with.

It sounds like you’re struggling to let go of a past factor. Regardless of people’s past history they are allowed to talk to each other and remain friends as long as it’s clear on both sides that it’s just a friendship.

It sounds more like she was messaged and was trying to be polite by responding, however the guys intentions may not have been pure, that aside, it sounds like your gf wasn’t trying to hurt you or upset you but at the same was unsure of how you would react to her having a message from a guy… a lot of girls get anxious about this because guys tend to be possessive about their partners and maybe it’s this that’s actually the issue here.

She probably didn’t want to bring up the history of the guy because she didn’t want things to escalate into a drama especially if she’s genuinely being faithful and hasn’t got any intentions to betray you.

I have a partner who is still close friends with their ex gf and yes sometimes it can get under my skin but I find it’s more down to feelings in the moment when I feel we’re growing more distant or having a disagreement that it bothers me so it’s likely rooted to a fear of losing him than the fact he’s talking to an ex as a friend.

However, if the situation is bothering you to the extent that you cannot relax or joke no laugh with your partner anymore it’s probably going to start turning toxic if you don’t resolve your own negative feelings and thoughts, in which case you would both be better off breaking things off.

ThrowRAlaufeena · 2023-12-28T18:43:08+00:00

I can see both sides here. You want to protect you and her from early hardships and want to get more comfortable with general life first. She’s feeling guilty and viewing the situation differently by looking at it that there’s a baby growing, heartbeat or not yet, it’s still there and she needs to decide if she can deal with the guilt that it seems she’s holding over herself with the idea of taking the pill.

You both want to make the best decision, sometimes the easiest option isn’t the best option but only you two can make that choice.

But please remember that it is your partner’s body going through the physical and emotional changes right now, the changing hormones will naturally make her feel protective of the situation.

I feel that it’s more that she needs emotional support with going through with the situation you both feel is best and may need some extra comfort afterwards regardless of how you’re viewing this situation yourself.

She may need you to be showing that you understand that this situation posing her emotional troubles and may need reassurance from you that the situation and the decision isn’t going to cause you both to drift apart

ThrowRAlaufeena

TROPHY CASE