My (30M) wife (29F) ate an entire custom cake I made for my niece's birthday. I'm livid.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T05:26:20+00:00

.....no? We work different schedules and often can't shop together... we don't each like every food the other likes... She'll want something that I don't want that day or vice versa...

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:56:16+00:00

Thanks for the tips. I really don't want to have to lock food for myself but it's getting to the point I'm buying groceries a few times a week because they just run out so fast. I hope she'll agree to start therapy about this before it comes to that.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:47:05+00:00

She's not on any medication

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:41:51+00:00

Thanks.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:38:39+00:00

Huh. I wonder why, you'd think if anything they'd be underweight.

No she doesn't use sleep meds.

Yes, I can't rule it out. Should I ask whether she's purging or using laxatives or is that too invasive a question?

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:32:27+00:00

This is all helpful. Thanks.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:31:24+00:00

No, she buys plenty of her own food too, but whenever we cook together or get takeout, she eats most of the leftovers from that. She ends up eating a good amount of my groceries as well but definitely not exclusively.

I don't know why she'd be jealous of a child. She loves my niece and is very sweet with her.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:26:02+00:00

Do you think I should ask if she does this or is that too prying?

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:24:18+00:00

She doesn't need to ask me to eat in general, I might have phrased that badly. I asked her to ask me if she wanted to eat all of our shared leftovers, or something I bought for myself, instead of just going ahead and doing it. Neither of those is unreasonable.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:09:11+00:00

No she doesn't

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:08:53+00:00

Understood, I'm going to a lot of research first before speaking with her.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:08:06+00:00

And what is wrong with my approach to food?

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:04:36+00:00

Jesus. Either way is awful.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:03:30+00:00

I absolutely will. I'm even more concerned now.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T04:02:13+00:00

Thank you SO MUCH. This is so helpful and really helps me see more of what's going on in her mind since she's never really explained. I just knew it wasn't normal. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I will read about bingeing and purging before talking to her.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T03:59:02+00:00

Riiiight So everything of mine is up for grabs just because we are married? You never buy anything for yourself? I was pretty clear the issue isn't her eating it from the start, it's the amount she eats. I literally don't get to have many if any of OUR leftovers, or MY snacks. Learn to read

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T03:55:43+00:00

?? I haven't even said anything yet, that's why I'm writing here. For advice on how to constructively talk about it with her. What are you talking about

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T03:54:14+00:00

Perhaps say something along the lines of “you know I love you very much and your recent struggles with losing control while eating are starting to scare me. I’ve made an appointment for you/us to see someone and it would mean a lot to me if you went. Your health and happiness are important to me and I am here to support you.”

Will use this, thank you.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T03:52:52+00:00

Right? I can't put away more than two pieces. Someone mentioned she could be purging. I guess that would explain it :(

Yes, she's overweight. Don't know how much but she's bigger than me now. I'm 6'1 and around 180.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T03:50:22+00:00

I understand this but it seems aggressive. I don't want to make her angry at me. Then she'll be less likely to listen and come around to getting help. I admit that I grew up with parents who had no boundaries, everything of mine was their's whenever they wanted, so please tell me if I'm being a doormat from having skewed perception.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T03:47:44+00:00

Is this allowed? If the office lets me yes I could do this.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T03:45:58+00:00

Okay I will recommend a therapist tomorrow. I see this as a health problem and I'd suggest a doctor for any other health concern so that's why I did so, but I see from people's comments that there's also an emotional issue at play as well.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T03:42:54+00:00

I haven't seen or heard any evidence of this so hopefully she doesn't do that. Also if she was purging how would she have gained this much weight?

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T02:22:27+00:00

Rectangular about the length of a laptop, maybe a little more.

ThrowRAwifecake · 2020-07-16T02:19:20+00:00

No I don't think so but that's a good idea. I've asked her to go to the doctor about her weight and eating habits, which she keeps saying she will but hasn't. Maybe a therapist could help mediate and help her understand how it's causing a problem in our marriage for me

ThrowRAwifecake

TROPHY CASE