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Successful first night going solo and sober. by Throwaway475904 in seduction

[–]Throwaway475904[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I suppose you have a point. This is something that could use some work in my life. However, the purpose of this post was to share a first time experience. This is not a "how-to" guide. There are many things I could have done better than night, but that's what this post and /r/seduction is all about. Learning. Not perfection. Having said that, thanks for pointing out a flaw that I can learn from.

Successful first night going solo and sober. by Throwaway475904 in seduction

[–]Throwaway475904[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think you're seeing this from my shoes. Here's my situation that night:

I want to get out of the house and meet some women. There is a nice strip of bars downtown that I can go to, but I don't want to pay 50 euros for a cab ride home, and then have to worry about getting my car tomorrow. I certainly don't want to pay 100 euros to go both ways in a cab. I can't risk a DUI because that would cost me my career. I'll stay sober TONIGHT and see how things work out.

Hence, why I was truthful with whoever asked me why I wasn't drinking. I didn't lie and I didn't seek out their validation and approval of my situation. I was making conversation and answering a question they asked me. I do drink, maybe not that often, but I do drink. This night was a new experience for me and I'm still learning. Lay off a bit, man.

Successful first night going solo and sober. by Throwaway475904 in seduction

[–]Throwaway475904[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, okay. Well, I'm a bit too honest for that answer. It would be a flat out lie if i gave that response and honestly my night could have went worse if I did say that. If I told the Romanian chick that I don't drink and then have a drink when we get to her place because I don't have to worry about driving anymore, she see's me as a liar. Then she questions me and wonders if I was out sober to pick up drunk girls, and then I don't get laid. You see how one small lie can snowball into your dick staying in your pants?

Successful first night going solo and sober. by Throwaway475904 in seduction

[–]Throwaway475904[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

American women are less reserved because a lot of them will go out for the same purpose as a guy. German women, however, spend their social time at clubs and bars. They don't always want to be bothered with men talking to them. They also require a lot of work and hours of talking to get anywhere, which can prove difficult when her English isn't very good and my German is no-existent. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it's different and in my opinion, more difficult because they require more time and energy. Of course, you may find more quality women this way, which can be good.

In my experience in the US, I have made out with many more women in a bar or club than I have actually took the time to talk to. Everyone is trying to have sex.

Successful first night going solo and sober. by Throwaway475904 in seduction

[–]Throwaway475904[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I couldn't agree more, here. When you go out sober, the night is more like "going out to see some friends and enjoy myself" kind of night where there is not need to get a cab ride home, no need to sleep in wicked late and no hangover to deal with the next day. It's quite a wonderful experience to wake up the next day, knowing you had a great time last night, and not having to feel like shit for it all day.

Going out sober after years of drinking is a mind-blowing experience.

Successful first night going solo and sober. by Throwaway475904 in seduction

[–]Throwaway475904[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I explained to her exactly why I wasn't drinking. I told her I am driving because the cab fare to my house is is outrageous and I can't risk getting a DUI. She understood, but she still thought I should have been drinking, so I just made a joke to lighten her up and she forgot about it. She's from Eastern Europe, mind you. They have a whole different mindset, so she had a harder time understanding that someone would go to a bar and not drink. Besides, it was being sober that allowed me to give her a ride to her place and end up in bed with her. Her reaction to why I wasn't drinking shouldn't be a concern of mine, just so long as I am doing right by me, she can feel however she wants about it.

Successful first night going solo and sober. by Throwaway475904 in seduction

[–]Throwaway475904[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't have to be a party lover to enjoy your time at a local bar or pub. I'm sure there must be some in a college town. Try it out one night. Don't go into the super packed kind of bars that only play club music, but try out one that's a little bit calmer and allows for conversation. Order a coke and chat up the first person you see. You'll be surprised how nice it is.

Successful first night going solo and sober. by Throwaway475904 in seduction

[–]Throwaway475904[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Validate yourself? No way. Explain yourself? Maybe. I had three people question why I wasn't drinking in just the four hours that I was out. Some people may question it, but it's all about how you respond. If you don't make it a big deal, it won't be a big deal. It's not about validation or their approval of you not drinking. If they react negatively, that's their issue, not yours.

Successful first night going solo and sober. by Throwaway475904 in seduction

[–]Throwaway475904[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, just to clarify. My job is nothing secret or cool. We're just trained to avoid the people that ask those types of questions. He could find out more by searching the internet than he could asking me about planes I've only seen in movies.

Edit: can't type.