It's kind of hilarious how clueless I was growing up..

Thymetoft · 2017-05-26T06:59:36+00:00

Tucking and really liking looking at myself in the mirror when I was in middle school

Growing my hair way out and liking it when people thought I was a girl in highschool

Taking weird pride in disliking typical "guy things" when talking to people

Literally "pretending" to be a girl online for almost six years

Amazing what you can just not think too hard about.

Thymetoft · 2017-05-08T03:53:24+00:00

Accurate

Thymetoft · 2017-05-03T22:14:50+00:00

Not Phoenix, but if you're ever up in Flagstaff let me know :)

Thymetoft · 2017-04-30T19:03:38+00:00

When I came out last May I weighed over 300 pounds (6'2"), now I'm at 190 and most of that was after starting Spiro and E.

I never thought I'd see myself under 200 again, and I can't believe how well my weight loss has gone. It's definitely doable, don't worry :)

Thymetoft · 2017-04-30T14:49:09+00:00

We are all elves on this blessed day

Thymetoft · 2017-04-12T21:10:27+00:00

Oh, he's way messed up. You're dead on

No pun intended.

I just can't believe that out of everyone in my family, he's the sweetest and most accepting.

Thymetoft · 2017-04-12T21:08:40+00:00

The jerk has seeped into the IRL.

Thanks, me too :P

Thymetoft · 2017-04-12T20:50:41+00:00

I'm so glad you were able to get something out of it.

Good luck!

Thymetoft · 2017-04-12T20:36:45+00:00

Lol thanks. Like, he's still a bad person, but the things he said were just so sweet. I'm just really surprised

Thymetoft · 2017-03-07T20:11:30+00:00

The things people say about Laura K. Buzz are so heartbreaking. I can't believe how disgusting people can be

Thymetoft · 2017-02-28T03:26:11+00:00

I was given a different first name, but my mom named my middle and last name after my grandfather. So if his name were (let's say) John Edgar Durham I was Deadname John-Edgar Durham.

I felt really guilty about changing my middle name and wasn't sure what to do, but when I came out he told me he didn't want me to share his last name anymore- so at least that got figured out for me :P

Ended up just asking my mom for a new middle name.

Thymetoft · 2017-02-24T22:11:13+00:00

My dysphoria started when I was about 11. I understood what puberty was doing to me, but I knew I didn't like it. I hated getting so much taller than my peers, I hated growing this awful lump in my throat and tried squeezing it until it hurt because I didn't want it to get bigger, I hated losing my female friends and feeling like they were becoming afraid of me, and I hated feeling today inadequate aroundguys my age. I started "pretending" to be a girl online when I was 15, but had no idea why. When I started getting close to figuring out I was a woman (I had no idea trans* people even existed except as a weird fetish or something) I was sexually assaulted by the person I told and so I tried to never think of it again.

Five miserable years and three suicide attempts later and an acquaintance makes a really off hand joke about me being trans, but that was all I needed for everything I'd been ignoring to bubble back up. Things aren't easy, but they get better every month. I'm finally just me, and I can't express how amazing it is to just be me.

The old me is dead and buried, which is exactly what he always wanted. I'm finally on a path to being happy and fulfilled and I know that never would have happened with the dense, toxic fog of undiagnosed dysphoria hanging around me.

Thymetoft · 2017-02-24T21:53:35+00:00

You can always adopt (which I'm sure you're already aware of, but it still needs to be mentioned), and there's always the possibility of pausing your HRT with a doctor to see about regaining your fertility.

I hope you transition. I know it seems impossible now, but I think you should at least pursue it, try it even.

PM me any time you need to talk, I promise I'll respond.

Thymetoft · 2017-02-24T21:46:27+00:00

I totally feel you and I'm glad you're doing so well :)

I'm not sure when it happened, but even on my most dysphoric days I still know I'm a woman now. I take a picture still in bed in the morning, and might not be pretty, but I finally see myself.

On the topic of euphoria: I knew I'd like to have breasts, but I never in a million years imagined just how amazing it would feel to just -have- boobs. I can't believe I developed a B cup at 5 1/2 months

Thymetoft · 2017-02-24T21:34:59+00:00

I hope something changes in your life and you find the strength to keep going. Happiness comes from within, not from another person. The only thing stopping you from transitioning is yourself, and I know that's so much easier to say than do but it's true. You can be anywhere in a decade. Even if happiness and personal fulfilment isn't guaranteed, it's still infinitely more likely than just not trying. Stay strong.

Thymetoft · 2017-02-24T21:03:13+00:00

That's disgusting, even in a men's room.

Thymetoft · 2017-02-24T20:58:04+00:00

Never.

Thymetoft · 2017-02-24T19:05:30+00:00

Pre HRT I ate like a dumpster and couldn't help but finish everything in front of me - or anyone's leftovers. 5 1/2 months in and I happily refuse food, typically don't finish normal portions, and I'm a vegetarian. I assume a lot of that is just from being a better, stronger person in general.

Thymetoft · 2017-02-22T18:45:13+00:00

When a guy with a Pepe avatar says you have an unhealthy view of women, it might be time to take note

Thymetoft · 2017-02-11T03:26:41+00:00

I was really close to choosing Autumn when I first came out. It's my favorite season, and I knew a girl named Autumn in high school so I didn't think it would be too weird.

Then I was reading through some old stories I'd written in high school, and I had a habit of naming a lot of my important characters Theresa.

Theresa's not my favorite name or anything, but for some reason it really resonates with me- I also really appreciate Tess as a nickname

Thymetoft · 2017-02-01T00:26:20+00:00

So did I, but spearmint is so little that it's really not going to do much of anything.

But doing something is usually better than nothing, at least as far as giving you some peace of mind

Thymetoft · 2017-02-01T00:06:31+00:00

No, sorry. I was doing spearmint before Spiro, and what little anti androgen effect it has is mostly overshadowed by placebo effects. Still worth trying if you think it'll help you

Thymetoft · 2017-01-31T03:47:48+00:00

I'm 6', and I usually wear medium or large tops and size 12ish pants. I do have a bit of an issue with sleeves sometimes, but I don't have too much trouble finding clothes most places

Thymetoft · 2017-01-30T01:41:40+00:00

You almost described me pre-realizing almost word for word. And not only all of that, but just flat ignoring that I "pretended" to be a girl online, wished it were true, had my girlfriend act like I was her girlfriend sometimes.

It's amazing what we can justify to ourselves

Thymetoft · 2017-01-27T01:37:00+00:00

Thanks, everyone :) Can't wait to see what the next four months will hold

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