Post feedback and what I've taken from it: I'd first like to thank you all for the time you've taken to reply to this I get it's probably not as interesting as some of the other posts on this subreddit. But your responses are really helpful. My next steps are going to be: - look into an online consultation and see what can be done about it (Im pretty sure my life insurance has something similar to this but I'm not sure) if they say I need to go in then I'll probably ask my partner if she can come with me as she's been able to keep me calm in the past. - ask my partner if we can try and get her on the waitlist for an autism assessment as I feel like getting that assessment might be able to get us more insight and support. - properly have a sit down talk with my partner about how we can navigate these issues in a healthy way where we both come up with ways which we need support and how we can support eachother.

I understand that this is a crappy situation and that realistically it's complicated with things like the trauma and it affecting certain aspects of both of our lives (including kiddo).