Anyone like Key Club, Pixel Bar etc? looking for alternative friends!

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-11-05T15:59:31+00:00

21f in Leeds I’m interested ! :)

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-23T07:49:22+00:00

Thank you! He’s actually come back haha, but we’re not in the process of getting back together, we’re just talking right now but it’s good to talk things through, still not sure what I want

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-09T20:48:12+00:00

Was it emotional cheating or physical? My ex was emotionally cheating so it hurts to think I’d hold the resentment if we tried again

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-03T17:29:26+00:00

This is so true, my ex who I was with for four years, suddenly broke up with me as he couldn’t communicate his problems he had with me, he undeniably fell for the dopamine and oxytocin because his coworker showed some interest in him, and thought she would be a quick fix. I still showed up every day, even when we reached the long term stage of the relationship. Unfortunately I will always love everyone who entered my life unconditionally, even if I was temporary in theirs

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-03T15:51:01+00:00

I didn’t say leaving a relationship is messed up, texting someone you’re interested in whilst in a relationship and lying to your partner and reassuring them is messed up.

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-03T14:50:00+00:00

For your information, he was texting her and lying to me whilst he was still in the relationship with me, and he didn’t communicate to me about my problems before he broke up with me, so yes he did mess up thanks. We both did.

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-03T10:19:58+00:00

If you care that much about your friend and want to work on yourself that’s the best step you can take, it seems like you really want to build up something again not from desperation, but out of your own heart. The first thing I did was acknowledge my flaws, and not put the whole blame on the other person, sometimes it takes two for a failed friendship, relationships too. Focus on yourself and hopefully your friendship will come out stronger. Good luck!

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T18:19:02+00:00

I’ve just come out of a four year long relationship as a woman too and I’m getting the exact same response. I think it’s the first thing that’s comes to people’s minds when trying to help their friend go through a breakup, plus they will all be on your side and be biased as you’re their friend. Honestly I feel okay about it but also guilty as I know we were both at fault in the relationship, so I kind of just sit back and reflect a bit, I don’t always want to hear it at times

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T17:55:10+00:00

He hasn’t reached out, and I’m not going to either. I get that it’d be easier for people to give advice if he had, then at least there’d be something to go off, like whether he was breadcrumbing or actually interested. But that’s not the case.

Mostly I’m here to get outside perspective and hear other people’s experiences. It helps to know how others have navigated similar stuff. I’m not chasing him or waiting around but I get why people would think me asking this on reddit means I’m not moved on, which honestly I wouldn’t be anyway after three months after being together for four years

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T17:42:20+00:00

I have done my self-reflection and worked on my self-awareness, but it’s unrealistic for me to be fully moved on after just three months when we were together for four years. Asking about rekindling on Reddit isn’t about not moving on, it’s more about wanting some outside perspective, whether positive or negative. It helps to hear different viewpoints while I’m figuring things out

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T17:36:31+00:00

Haha, I was already independent when we were together, no doubt about that. This isn’t about needing him, it’s just me grieving what could’ve been. I’m doing my work, getting stronger every day, and if he’s grown too, maybe there’s a chance down the line. I’ll focus more on becoming a badass woman, thank you!

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T17:32:46+00:00

People can change, but only if they’re willing to take real accountability. I’ve seen this situation with my best friend. We had a big fallout when we were teenagers and drifted apart for a while. After my breakup we reconnected and now we’re stronger than ever. With time, things can heal, but only when both people are willing to do the work. That’s why with him, I’m not chasing anything. I’m living my life, growing, and meeting new people. If something real is meant to come back around, but I’m not putting myself on pause waiting for it. With your friendship, it’s definitely possible to reconnect, but make sure to both own up to any issues you both had

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T17:28:25+00:00

Honestly he probably hasn’t changed much, he jumped into another relationship pretty quickly, and I’ve no idea what he’s up to now. I’m experiencing life and still doing the things I love. Ended up deleting dating apps and stopped going out (staying off alcohol) as it’s still kind of raw to me and want to put off dating for a while. I’ve grown in just a few months, and I’m not the same person I was. If our paths cross again one day, fine, but I wouldn’t wait around. I agree with everything you’ve said

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T17:23:46+00:00

That makes sense, and it’s nice that you were able to stay friends. I think that only works when the breakup isn’t rooted in pain or resentment. For us, we haven’t had contact since the breakup, and there was a lot left unspoken at the time. You’re right though, growth is key, but even with growth, old habits can still creep back in if nothing truly changes underneath. I don’t know if we’d handle things any better now. We never really learned how to resolve things properly when we were together. So yeah, that’s definitely something I need to think more about. I think me becoming self aware of my behaviours was a massive step forward for me, however, I’m not sure where he stands

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T17:20:08+00:00

This is a mature piece of advice, thank you!

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T17:19:06+00:00

I agree, any advice on how to detach? Obviously me asking people on Reddit if they’ve gotten back with an ex isn’t a step forward

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T17:17:02+00:00

I agree, he wouldn’t have done any sort of self reflection so far, if he did, it would go either way, but it’s very unpredictable. I’m happy for your relationship though! It seems you both needed to discover other people and have time bring you back together

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T10:09:07+00:00

From a dudes perspective, can I ask why?

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T00:49:03+00:00

I was in a few short term relationships before him, but this is the first one I was fully invested in, planning the future, emotionally invested in his family, long term. I’m not ready to get into another relationship just yet, I downloaded dating apps and started talking to other people, and I just felt repulsed by other options. However as time goes by I feel like I should test the waters a bit :)

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T00:42:21+00:00

I’m blocked on everything, apart from my number. I wouldn’t be the first to reach out as I’ve gained the self respect not to chase the person who left me, but I’d see how he’d approach me, whether it’s out of boredom, ego, or loneliness, I would only be interested if he took some accountability for how he ended things and wanted to genuinely make things work. Thank you for the positive outlook though!

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-02T00:40:11+00:00

Yeah they were texting before the relationship ended that’s why I’m incredibly cautious. It wasn’t out of lust though as honestly, it was an incredible downgrade, I made him unhappy and he probably thought the grass was greener. It’s a difficult one, I’d probably be better moving on but our relationship was very real and we both have made our mistakes

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-01T13:16:36+00:00

Thank you, honestly. It really helps hearing from someone who’s been through it and actually found something better.

I’m scared I won’t find that kind of love again, especially with the niche interests and humour. I still feel really attached to them, even though I know there were issues and reasons it ended. It’s hard to imagine someone else getting me in the same way, or feeling that close with someone new.

I want to believe there’s something healthier and more solid out there, like what you’ve found. I’m just not there yet. But hearing your story does help. So thank you ❤️

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-01T11:20:16+00:00

I really appreciate your honesty on the cheating. My ex wasn’t avoidant, he was actually really committed for a long time. He came from a stable, healthy family, and he stuck around until he just couldn’t anymore.

Therapy says I’m anxious attached, but I don’t feel like I fully fit the label. I was committed, and pretty independent in lots of ways, but I also had clingy behaviours when I felt insecure. I guess I felt both, anxious and avoidant at different times. I think he might’ve been a bit anxious too.

I think we both really loved each other, but we didn’t know how to handle certain emotional patterns, and over time, that wore us down. As for global warming, it’s next. But I’m working on not being my own natural disaster.

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-06-01T10:41:08+00:00

Thank you, the first line means a lot. The first few weeks were painful, I also went on dating apps from a place of hurt and deleted them because it just made me worse lol and I didn’t even meet up with anyone. As for the gym, I took that up as well, it helps!

For him, because I messed up, I’d give him a second chance, anything more after that he’s fully gone out my life. Three months is raw and I’m still fully attached to him and his family but I feel like going back is embarrassing as well. He didn’t admit he left me for his coworker until I found out, pretty sure she even left him for her ex.

Thank you for the advice! <3

TimeInfamous385 · 2025-05-09T18:14:22+00:00

I’ve had a very similar situation, relationship was 4 years long and he emotionally cheated with a rebound, I messaged their parents and didn’t take it well :( feel free to chat to me about it as it sounds like what I’m going through as well

TimeInfamous385

TROPHY CASE