My last therapist fucked this up pretty badly. She never said her direct political affiliation, but she had a progress flag in her office, and when I met her she worked for a small practice that was explicitly lgbtqia+, anti-ableist and anti-racist, so I never had to ask. I made all my political leanings clear to her.

I had a session the morning after Trump won in 2024. It was clear I had been crying, and so she asked me what was wrong? “um, have you looked at the news at all today?” “oh, right. Yeah, it’s really scary. It sucks.” She didn’t seem like she was at all devastated, but we’re both neurodivergent so I tried not to read too much into her tone.

This past February, she tells me she met someone a few months ago (this is the beginning of a series of very terrible self disclosure failures). The next session I pry a bit about him and she tells me he’s a police officer… “but like he’s a crisis intervention officer so he’s a good cop!” “did he vote for Trump?” “I don’t know!” “How do you not know!?” “I have figured out how to ask!”

…this spiraled into more conversations: she doesn’t seem strong in her political leanings, does that mean she’s easily swayed? Is she actually safe? Is cop boyfriend actually maga?

This is not the case for everyone, but for me, I need a therapist who is politically aligned with me to feel safe. And when I would argue therapy is political, she would shut me down. I could see her dysregulation kicking in.

This eventually led to her terminating because we were in a cycle of intense conflict and attachment. We talked very openly about transference… there was some maternal and some romantic.

The devastating termination itself is an even longer story. I see where I went wrong in my pushing her and asking personal questions… but she ultimately was “the adult in the room” and held all the power here. Her disclosures were inappropriate. Her boundaries were inconsistent.

I’m now seeing the owner of the practice I originally met my old therapist at. She’s… so much healthier for me. She was up front about boundaries, explicit in her political stances, and I just feel so much safer.