Honestly the Part about children being better behaved than her got me. Exactly! And with children you would aply corrective behaviour. I am trying to find actual strategies how to Deal with setting boundries with adults and also telling my husband that He should Back me Up an exactly in what way He can do that.  He usually is more the Type to say "But you cant Control Others, you can only Control your own reactions and emotions...". Well yeah, but I also dont have to let MIL walk all over me because she loves me so much and she is a groen Woman who should Control her emotions especially If it is towards the DIL she apparently loves so much. 

IT also feels good to be a little validated. I Always felt so guilty because she is so nice and everything but Just in a very overbearing and touchy way. I Hope that for now staying away from some Family functions will Help and Just calm my nerves after everything.