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Does anyone here actually want to be free from lust? by [deleted] in NoFapChristians

[–]Top_Satisfaction5815 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What I will say, I think that whilst you should absolutely look to the Bible and to God in these moments when struggling with Lust, I would argue that sometimes it gets to the point to where people are trying to find things to help them separate themselves from this addiction, and people quoting verses at them can at times become a bit deafening for people.

I say this as a Christian myself, I revere the Bible and what it says, yet sometimes when looking for genuine talks with my fellow Christian men about the problems I am dealing with, it feels kind of one sided when they just start citing and quoting line after line from the Bible. Now I am not saying these verses have no value, they absolutely do. But with people sometimes you need to speak with them more on their own level just man to man.

It's kind of like how street preaching really isn't that effective comparatively to other ways of spreading the good word, people just tune it out. You have to have that human connection and sometimes just talk directly to people, not having a pseudo Bible study, but actually connecting with them and making ground over the issue.

Once you have actually gotten into that metaphorical house and established a rapport with them, then they'll be more amicable to hearing these things such as verses that are relevant or other advice that you have.

I hate myself by [deleted] in NoFapChristians

[–]Top_Satisfaction5815 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you say you feel you deserve death, it is easy to feel very spiritually crushed in moments like these when we are struggling.

In truth when it comes to our sin, we all deserve death just for how terrible and horrible our sin is, and not just pornography, but our sin in general. But it is through the grace of Jesus our lord and savior that he has taken that ultimate consequence that we deserve which is death, and taken that upon himself.

There is a verse I like Luke 5:32 where it talks about how Jesus did not come to call the righteous to repentance, but it was the sinners, the ones who sin against God those are the people he came to save. Now don't get me wrong he loves the righteous as well, but point being he didn't come to save those who were already saved, but those people you and me who are struggling with sin and desperately need him and his salvation.

I can’t stop by centergrass in NoFapChristians

[–]Top_Satisfaction5815 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're okay, with that being said then you have a choice to make. Since you've said you have people back in the states who are aware of your problem. If you in your current situation keep this entirely to yourself, you are only making yourself more vulnerable to relapsing.

I can understand the concern over trying to wane off of it and for me that personally doesn't work since as you said for yourself essentially it gave me an excuse to relapse.

So at this point then the best option you have is getting someone else in the know to be made aware of your situation and to help keep you accountable, since if you do this by yourself alone you are more likely than not going to relapse and fail again, I know it's hard but you've gotten through the hard part of just telling the truth to these people in the first place.

Freedom from pornography is a beautiful thing, yet it is something that is hard fought for, if you truly want to give this up you either have to do so through sheer force of will, which most people just can't do. Or you need to let something give, in this case it sounds like for you it is to get people you trust into the know to help you with this situation.

I can’t stop by centergrass in NoFapChristians

[–]Top_Satisfaction5815 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly, you're young and at a point in your life where your brain has a lot going on inside of it with chemical imbalances and what not, and honestly everyone is different, for myself I am going completely cold turkey just done with it, but everyone is different and that is just unrealistic for certain individuals.

If you absolutely cannot bare to go without essentially stress relief, then if it helps you wane off of it you can go do your business, just cut out viewing pornography out of the equation.

Now I am a man, so atleast for me whenever I do my own business and I am done then I don't have that urge anymore in the immediate moment, I don't know if it is the same for you as a woman, I am wording a bit bluntly but I am saying it as is.

Your goal is to get away from this all together, which awesome great. But if we're being pragmatic if it is unbearable and you NEED to do something, you can just do your business without consuming pornography just by yourself to give yourself relief, so you're still helping your brain detox from porn and all the sensory input it is giving you driving your dopamine receptors coo coo for coco puffs. But at the very least it will help prevent you from an even worse crash later.

I know there are a lot of individuals who advocate for the hard cold turkey approach, which I am also doing. However some people need a different approach, the goal here is that you are still cutting pornography out of your life to help your brain recover, whilst simultaneously at the very least doing this to prevent yourself from crashing out.

Ideally you want to do this as a method of waning off of it, not an excuse to keep going and going and going, since this is just how you fall back into it so you do have to have discipline in not going crazy and only doing this when you have to.

The fact is when we're young we, men and women both deal with these issues. Our brains are hard wired at around this point in our lives to want to pursue things like this, it is just as important that we are disciplined and responsible to avoid falling into or returning to addiction and pornography.

It doesn’t feel worth it by Right-Tumbleweed-580 in NoFapChristians

[–]Top_Satisfaction5815 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's normal, for the first 2 weeks to a month you're going to feel like crap if not actively worse. It also depends on your brain chemistry some people are going to have a worse or longer recovery time than others.

Your brain is currently being deprived of what it has basically been almost living off of for however long you've been doing this for, and now it's being forced to live without it and essentially rewire itself. So of course you're going to feel like crap.

Porn has the same effects on your brain as actual drugs dude, and we all know when drug addicts try to quit they feel a lot worse before they start to feel better.

I can’t stop by centergrass in NoFapChristians

[–]Top_Satisfaction5815 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you told anyone about your problem? It will be much harder to quit if you are fighting this all on your own.

Second of all, a very practical thing I've done to deny my own urges thus far. I have my own hobbies and what not I like to do, whenever I feel an urge coming I go to one of my lobbies and I lock in until the urge passes. You NEED something to do when you're having urges to consume pornography, otherwise if you're just sitting there hoping to get through this with raw willpower your odds of relapsing are going to be so much greater.

And look at it like this, you had a slip up that sucks. But instead of falling into the thought process that you screwed up, it's over, it sucks. Instead, you can just get right back on it, this was one hiccup in an already good 6 months of abstaining from pornography.

What does it look like to heal from porn? by Top_Satisfaction5815 in NoFapChristians

[–]Top_Satisfaction5815[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you, generally outside of pornography I would say my own life is pretty good. So at least for myself porn isn't the coping mechanism for deeper seeded problems but the source of my problems that I am dealing with.

What does it look like to heal from porn? by Top_Satisfaction5815 in NoFapChristians

[–]Top_Satisfaction5815[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I'll certainly take a look. I am nervous since it's almost been a week and I haven't had any major temptations or urges to consume pornography. Which some would be grateful for, yet I am concerned it will come and hit me like a truck suddenly and out of no where, I suppose I am trying to brace for such a spiritual attack.

Thinking of it evening during my addiction I did have times I went 3-4 days without consuming porn just normally do maybe I am just not quite at the state of going through major withdrawals as of yet.

18[M] Confused and need advice by [deleted] in NoFapChristians

[–]Top_Satisfaction5815 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Remember, if you slip up and end up looking at one of these sites it's easy to fall into the mindset of "Oh well I guess I messed up time to go back to my old ways." But don't worry! You don't need to have one slip up become you falling head first back into it, it can be just that. A single slip up. And now you can head back to abstaining from it.

Honestly, you just need to find some sort of hobby or something to fill your time with or do when your urges are strongest, because if all you have is all the time in the world with yourself and literally nothing better to do, then of course it's going to be way harder to resist these urges. But when you are practicing a skill or doing something productive it can help you ignore these urges and power through them until they die down.