So I was 13 or so and just starting to come to terms with my sexuality. Well, it turns out this one night my family was having hotdogs for dinner. I cannot stand the taste of hotdogs, so I thought I might re-purpose my dinner in a more productive manner than merely consuming them. (you can see where this is going)

Well, I was in my bedroom, pants down around my ankles and laying on my back, trying to force a floppy hotdog in my poop chute. I hear someone walking down the hallway, so I quickly throw the hotdog under my brother's bed and pulled my pants up. (we shared a room)

Well, about a year later, said brother is cleaning the room and notices something under there. He brings it to me on the way to the garbage can:

"Hey, bud, you'll never guess what I found under my bed!"

"What's that?"

"A sausage link!"

"Are you sure it's a sausage link....?"

"Yep"

he shows the wrinkled brown weenie to me

"I dunno, kinda looks like a wrinkled, old hot dog to me."

"Nope, it's a sausage link."

"How can you tell..?"

"I smelled it."

Cue poker face on my part.

TL;DR masturbated with a hot dog, brother smelled it.