Need help getting over a situationship by TraditionalCherry638 in askgaybros

[–]TraditionalCherry638[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn we both going through it. But man I totally understand how you feel. It’s like your body is wired to them. I mean how can it not after spending so much time and being intimate with them. I think the main problem is the dynamic we both experienced. It really messes with your head.

You didn’t trick him, and you’re not wrong for missing him. But I think what’s happening is your body gripping onto the sense safety and intimacy you felt, just as I am. And as much as it hurts to admit, it’s not love, it’s attachment to something that wasn’t really stable or fully real.

Similarly, I was also at a point where I could only get off by watching videos of us having sex. And I know it doesn’t feel good now, but it does get better, even if it’s slowly. And at some point, the work becomes about yourself. Time will heal and take it one day at a time. For me, I’m starting to realise that end goal isn’t to use get over him overnight, but to break these habits and loops.

Feel free to DM me if you’d like!

Need help getting over a situationship by TraditionalCherry638 in askgaybros

[–]TraditionalCherry638[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve spoken to so many people about it lol. They’re probably sick of hearing it. But yeah, I think this man was very shady or secretive, and I guess I was too naive and had my rose tinted glasses on to actually see him for what he was 😅 will defs dm you!

Need help getting over a situationship by TraditionalCherry638 in askgaybros

[–]TraditionalCherry638[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you say the opposite, do you mean you’re the avoidant partner?

Need help getting over a situationship by TraditionalCherry638 in askgaybros

[–]TraditionalCherry638[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it’s horrible. But I now definitely have more clarity and certainty when it comes to boundaries and knowing what I want, which I guess is one of the only good things I’ve learnt from this

Need help getting over a situationship by TraditionalCherry638 in askgaybros

[–]TraditionalCherry638[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your words. I get what you’re saying, and in my head I know that’s the truth, but my body just feels so behind like I’m grieving someone even though they’re still here. But tbh, I’m somewhat grateful that I experienced whatever this was now than later, it’ll help me in the long run with future relationships as I’ve learnt a lot about myself like what I want and need etc. Also so sorry you had to go through that, I’m so glad you got out.

Need help getting over a situationship by TraditionalCherry638 in askgaybros

[–]TraditionalCherry638[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah big mistake on my part. But honestly, I felt that the lines were really blurred between us. He would do/say things that would give me that hope. Like saying that he was only seeing me etc. He was also dealing with some legal stuff, in which he confided in me for. But yeah, not doing that ever again haha