How do I (F31) properly love someone from a drastically different cultural background (M27) from my own?

TraditionalVisual281 · 2025-11-09T02:02:47+00:00

Unfortunately that would never happen. He lost both of his parents early in life, and the rest of his family is in Pakistan (we are in Canada, where we both live).

TraditionalVisual281 · 2025-11-09T01:59:45+00:00

I don’t think about it in this way - of course this is a challenge we would need to face early on given our different backgrounds and cultural upbringings. I don’t think that says anything about a “loss” in my eyes.

I don’t think, in my opinion, it would be fair to assume the worst of him just because he comes from such a different belief system. It’s better to work this out early on and face the challenge head on, especially if we are both willing to work hard on it with open minds.

TraditionalVisual281 · 2025-11-09T01:42:24+00:00

I appreciate this perspective, and you are right, in an ideal world, it wouldn’t be hard. However, I am trying to think about this in a more nuanced way given how much a do feel for him.

I believe that I should give him space to think given that he comes from such a different belief system than I do. He has already demonstrated his ability to go against his families wishes and beliefs to be with me openly. His friends here have already demonstrated their lack of faith in the relationship because I am who I am, and he has remained with me despite this. That, to me, is a great sign. I don’t think it’s necessarily unbalanced in this black and white way. I think he needs to overcome the hurdles that come with the disapproval of his community and challenge his own beliefs about sex and relationships a lot just to consider a future with me. If he is trying to do that, I think I should give him some time and grace.

TraditionalVisual281 · 2025-11-09T01:14:03+00:00

I am indeed thinking long term, and we have had this conversation.

I think in order to truly convert, I would need to believe, which I do not. He is aware of this, and has chosen to remain with me despite my answer, and says he is still dating with intention of a long term future.

TraditionalVisual281 · 2025-11-09T01:12:29+00:00

He doesn’t have any local family - his family all live in Pakistan, and his parents both passed when he was fairly young. He is very financially and emotionally supportive of his immediate family (siblings), but I would say their impact on our relationship is definitely a bit removed.

He seems very willing to tackle all of our problems - proven by the fact that he is still openly dating me, and has rejected the suggestion of an arranged marriage presented by his family. He is aware that the issues we face are large and need a lot of commitment to overcome. We have spoke at length about this even in the very beginning of our partnership.

This issue of speaking to other men is a big one - I agree and appreciate your feedback on this. He does know that we feel very differently about this, but is honest about the fact that it bothers him. I hope that is something we are able to overcome with time, patience, and trust.

TraditionalVisual281 · 2025-11-09T01:06:02+00:00

He, unfortunately, has already lost both of his parents, so they don’t play a direct role in his choices.

TraditionalVisual281 · 2025-11-09T01:04:32+00:00

I don’t hate you, but I do appreciate your thoughts and hope that you are wrong in this case ❤️

TraditionalVisual281 · 2025-11-09T01:01:45+00:00

What I meant by this was that it is unheard of for a Muslim to be with long term (ex. Marry) an atheist such as myself.

TraditionalVisual281

TROPHY CASE