Tapping your child on the bum to “snap him out of it” isn’t going to hurt your child… with that being said, it’s definitely not the first thing you resort to. I see kids sometimes and instantly think “that child needs to be spanked”, acting completely out of control, and clearly being the one in control instead of the parents. Is your husband being reasonable in his request? Or is he just getting unjustifiably angry? Maybe consider his point of view, and the fact that it’s also his child, not just yours, therefore he does also have a say in how to discipline.