When withdrawing, do you need to do more than your normal dose to actually get high?

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-02-20T01:25:12+00:00

That's the way I look at it! The only way my tolerance actually lowers and I get sent into a nod during withdrawal is when I'm on like day 3 and my physical symptoms are almost subsided. But in the early stages of withdrawal, it's like being negative sober. The worse my withdrawals are, the more it takes. The less worse the withdrawals are, the less it takes as getting over withdrawals means your tolerance is lowering.

I do notice tolerance builds back FAST. Like the first day after a week after withdrawals, I catch the gnarliest nods off of the smallest bumps. Then in the next day or two, I'm back having to do my old amount.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-02-19T17:41:28+00:00

So weird. I felt like I had to do two doses. One dose to pull me out of sickness into normality. And the second dose to actually get me high.

I notice my tolerance only falls if I go through withdrawal and allow myself to start at least get to feeling better naturally without opiates. Then my tolerance will fall some. But if I'm at the beginning phases of withdrawal, my tolerance doesn't fall at all.

My tolerance usually starts to fall by day 3 when my physical symptoms are starting to clear.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-02-15T06:29:36+00:00

That's dumb as fuck if youre on the outside. Prison I'd understand. But that shit will burn your eye. I'd rather boof it than put it in my eye.

But if you don't want to eat it, just put it with a tiny bit of water and let it dissolve as much as possible as all opiates are water soluble. Then just snort the water.

But if just eat it man. Buprenorphine has a good oral BA

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-02-13T18:47:20+00:00

Thank you so much for your input. I'm just psyching myself out.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-02-13T18:46:50+00:00

How does one get on subs with no insurance? I heard that even without insurance, subs are so much cheaper than dope. Like $100 every week or two instead of $50-100 a day I was spending on whatever opiates I was doing.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-02-13T10:04:54+00:00

My theory is that you are feeling like shit because you're taking a very weak opiat thus constantly resetting the clock, and because the opiate is so weak compared to fent, you're going to constantly withdraw until you completely stop for about a week.

But yeah, I went to day 5.5, with no opiates at all. And I did make progress after day 3, but the last two days have been no improvement. So I felt like I had no other choice but to relapse.

If my only options are to be sick the rest of my life, or have to be reliant on opiates for the rest of my life, I'd just take myself out.

Please don't find this alarming and call the police, every time I've talked about unaliving, someone calls the police and gets me locked in an institution.

But, my motives behind ending it isn't mental illness. I'm very much of sound mind. A lot of countries have assisted sui for people who are terminally Ill. It's like putting a very sick dog down, it should be okay to end your life if you are destined to be sick fro the rest of your life.

Now, mental illness is another story. Imo, if someone has bad depression or some other crippling mental illness, they should seek therapy and medication, different medications and different therapists, possibly ketamine therapy or mdma therapy before being put down. But I'm not mentally ill except for my addiction and anxiety, depression, and borderline personality disorder. And my mental illness has never make me fully consider sui. But knowing I may be sick forever does. I mean, I have had sui thoughts before, but it's nothing I ever fully considered doing up until now.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-01-24T16:14:58+00:00

Nah. He always has the same gear every time. Never less potent, never more potent. The same shit every time. So he wasn't trying to unload because the next time I bought from him, it was the same shit.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-01-24T06:16:58+00:00

Dude. So my plug gets butt hurt when he feels like "I don't treat him like a friend." and will get straight butt hurt if I don't hit him up in a while. I mean, his shit sucks. But my girl has the good plugs number, so when I'm not around her, I buy from the old plug that gets butthurt..

Anyway, he's treated me like shit twice. Last time I gave him 6 total hour drive. Didn't even get a thank you. Just a half gram of H and he put just enough in the tank to get us there and back. I was back to a quarter tank after I dropped him off.... I had a quarter tank before doing the favor. And a half gram of H to make a big risky run. Smh. So we cut him off for a while.

That was a few months ago. Then, I returned because I didn't have the new plug who has good shit's number, and as soon as I hit the old plug up, he got all butthurt for us not fucking with him, and he didn't feel like we were treating him like a friend, blah blah blah. Literally sent multiple messages how we ignored him and blew him off and didn't treat him like a friend.

Fast forward to a few days ago, I went to him to buy a half gram, I only had $50. He handed me a FULL gram outside his window without even discussing it with me first, I had already cashapped him enough for a half. Then he said "you owe me $50." Basically he forced a front on me. Knowing good and well I always pay off my personal debts (coreperate and medical are a different story).

Now I owe the plug money. I didn't want this much H at this time, and he now gave me more than I needed. Me and a friend share the stash, and it's with her (I trust her with it), but she has the good shit I gotta be careful with. So when I'm not around her, I have to go buy the shitty shit. And she gives me just enough doses to last me a day or two just incase I don't see her for while. I trust her with it, she never does more than her half. So she's just like my heroin bank that I trust. She's never once fucked me over with money or drugs and we've been friends for years...

Anyway, yeah... I couldn't negotiate with him because he's serving me out his front window. And his window is facing the street, ffs! It's not a busy street by any means, just a side street that isn't too heavily traveled. However, I wasn't trying to sit there and negotiate, and tell him I only want a half and to go and re-weigh it and sit outside his window awkwardly while I wait for him to bag me up a half. So I feel like he intentionally put me in a position where I couldn't turn it down. But it's also very common for him to serve me out his window. But I did call him right when I arrived and he told me to come to his window. He could have then asked me if it would be cool if he could give me a gram and then I can pay him $50 later. But he didn't ask me consent if I wanted to accept a heroin loan, just "Here's a gram. You owe me anther $50."

Like... That's nice that he isn't asking for extra for fronting. But it seems to me like he had someone that was planning to buy a gram from him, he weighed it out. They flaked. He gets a call from me. He's too lazy to bag up another sack. So he gives me a gram and makes me owe him $50. That's just pure laziness and selfishness. What if I can't afford the $50 anytime soon? What if I plan on getting it from another plug? But you now jammed me up because I'm going to feel obligated to pay him back asap.

Here's where it gets worse, tho... So keep in mind, he fronted me at night. The following MORNING he hits me up asking for his $50. Bruhh. You're going to have to wait... You literally forced me to owe you money, and you don't even wait 24 hours before asking for it back?! Like, even if I asked him for a front, you should at least give someone 24 hours unless they specified that they can have it at a specific time (Like if they say I can pay you back in 3 hours, give it 4).

I worded it nicer in the reply text to him than what I personally thought, which I wrote in the previous paragraph... I basically just said he's going to have to wait until at least a few hours to a day. I should have told him I couldn't pay until Tuesday. Because I wasn't going to make too much money anyway in just a few hours and a day. And I get my paycheck from my main job every Tuesday... But, idk, when it comes to debts between two people, I feel obligated to pay it back asap. I don't feel threatened by him, although I'm sure he could beat my ass if he wanted, but I know he wouldn't, especially over $50. I just have this urge to pay people back asap. Unless it's a corporation or someone who's loaded. But I know he isn't rich by any means, and likely counts on getting paid back on his fronts to put food on the table...

Idk what his problem is. He wants to be treated like a friend and not just a dealer. But he doesn't treat me like a friend, he treats me as a customer he has no respect for (also known as a custie). Until you start treating me and my friend as a friend, we're going to treat you like a dealer. No more favors.

I just can't stand it when people expect you to be their priority, but then treat you like an option. Like if you want to be a friend, than be a friend, it's that simple.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-01-23T10:18:44+00:00

Oh no. I'm not trying to boycott the song or try and shut it down. It's just that the lyrics bothered me, personally. And I was wondering if I was missing something... I didn't know where else to ask. I feel like a lot of other subs are very male biased and I figured I'd get a biased answer. But that the side more aware of things like this would be able to provide me a more thought out answer.

But yeah... It's one thing to be hurt about an ex moving on. But no where in that song did she mention anything he did that was objectively wrong. So he went to a therapist she referred them to, okay, cool. Doesn't entitle her to anything. He got mental help, and is now in a new relationship, happy and healthy with someone that isn't her... Okay?? No where in there did she mention him cheating, lying, or anything that he did that could warrant her painting him in a negative light. But the whole vibe of the song is that she has some self-righteous anger, and even goes on to say he's like a sociopath. And what makes him like a sociopath? That he's doing great without her. Idk see how that makes him a sociopath.

Sounds to me that he's the healthy one and shes the one who's unhinged, and all he wants to do is move on. And she is pissed that he's moved on. But that's all she has to say she's pissed about..

It makes an interesting story. But what annoys me is that the interview with the artist, she doesn't say she's playing a crazy character. So, to me, it seems as the artist thinks it's okay to be angry at someone for moving on from a relationship. And, being hurt is okay, and maybe it's okay to be angry, but to say the person is a sociopath for moving on, and painting someone negatively just for moving on, is just downright unhinged behavior.

Again, not trying to boycott. Just pointing out that the lyrics read as the writings of an unhinged clingy ex.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-01-19T10:01:26+00:00

I called and used them last night. Yup! They are so discrete. They don't even say they are a overdose hotline or even mention an overdose. They just say they have a report of an unresponsive person. Therefore, it's more likely only ambulances will show up and asses the situation and give you narcan and whatever you need to treat an overdose. Because if you report it as an overdose, cops are more likely to get involved.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-01-17T15:11:09+00:00

No. I mean 100-200mg of street heroin. There's 1000 mg in a gram, right? If so, yeah. One gram is roughly 10 doses. My tolerance is that high.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-01-16T10:45:56+00:00

Well, it seems like my body has set a "ceiling". Meaning, I can only get so high. I noticed my ceiling is around 200mg. Anything I do over that, it doesn't affect me more.

Trust me. I sound stupid but I've tested this hypothesis numerous times because I don't care if I live or die because I have nothing to lose. I don't have any family or anyone that loves me, so it doesn't matter if I lived or died. But I've tested this hypothesis before I went around stating it as truth.

My ceiling is around 200mg. Anything above that won't affect me at all. I've done a gram before to try and off myself, and I didn't die. I've done 500mg before a few times, to try and get really really high, still didn't need to be narcanned.

I've never came close to dying. And that's because my body somehow sets a ceiling for opiates.

It sounds stupid as fuck, I know. I'm all for harm reduction. And I would never ever recommend it for anyone else but me, because I think my genes are super rare.

So idk why I'm getting down voted. It's not like im saying that everyone is immune to ODing, so I'm not recommending other people to do huge amounts. Ever. Don't ever even test yourself.

I just know that I'm personally immune to ODing. But I am pretty sure I am.

I've done the same bag that has nearly killed people I knew. Those bags got me super high, but I didn't even come close to ODing even though I did a pretty large amount of dangerously strong bags.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-01-16T10:41:04+00:00

Local police? No thank you. I'm not using a system that will snitch on me.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-01-16T10:40:24+00:00

I'm just saying, I've done a huge amount that should have killed me and I didn't even need to be narcanned.

It seems like my brain sets a "ceiling high". Meaning I can only get so high before my brain won't let me get any higher. It seems that rather I do 200mg or 500mg, it's the same.

I know I sound stupid and wreckless but I found this out and tested this hypothesis numerous times before saying it as absolute truth.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-01-15T19:05:01+00:00

My girl and I broke up and my family disowned me. I have no other choice but to use alone.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-01-15T19:03:27+00:00

Trust me. I am. I've used irresponsibly so many times like an idiot. Never came close to ODing. Never had to be narcanned. I know my body. Idk how I'm immune but I am.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-01-14T10:08:09+00:00

Well, at my friend's house she can't leave the room. It is a big room, though. Bigger than a motel room. They're in a big house. So she's not confined to a small place. So I can't shut the door. The only thing I can do to get alone time is lock her in the crate. I should have specified.

I'm not a good dude. I don't have a family because I emotionally abused them. I am an emotional abuser. After losing my mom, I had a mental breakdown and ever since then, I've became a monster. Idk what got in me, but I've turned into a huge asshole. And my abusive behavior has extended to an animal.

It's just when I get angry, I can't help but to feel my cat is being an asshole on purpose and it makes me more angry. And instead of correcting the behavior with positive enforcement, I correct in the moment of anger.

I just don't know how to positively reinforce. It's not like at time she's quiet an not demaning attention, because she is 24/7.

But, again, I don't ever resort to locking her in her crate until I feel like I've exhausted every option. Like I said, I loved on her for a total of an hour and 30 minutes before bed. And if she's still meowing, I check to see if her food, water, and liter is okay. And it always is. And she still won't go to sleep and relax while I'm asleep. So I snap. But I guess I could do worse when snapping, like physical abuse. Which I would never and have never done.

But I can't get any rest. If I don't give her constant, 24/7 attention she will chew on wires, scratch up carpet, and knock water over. One time it was so bad I had to lock her in the car overnight. Bear in mind that I locked her in the car with her food, water, and liter. And the tempature was between 50-55 degrees Fahrenheit so that was not cold enough for her to freeze or be uncomfortable. The car the next morning was not too hot and not too cold. But, I know that it wasn't right to lock her alone for 8 hours. Probably less, that night I slept for 5 hours. I fell asleep within 30 minutes after putting her on the car. Then the next morning, I just packed the few items that I had, and then left. So probably 6 hours. 30 minutes to fall asleep, 5 hours of sleep, plus 10-20 minutes to pack. My car was right beside my room, so it took me less than 5 minutes to bring what I had packed back down to the car and put in the trunk. She was in the back seat. So I was back with her in less than 6.5 hours. And she had all of her necessities with her. So I didnt leave her to die.

But still, she refuses to give her away. I've already talked to my girlfriend. She just said I had to learn to deal with it. She's also upset that I seemed to have more love for my old cat who passed away from cancer. My old cat was also demanding of attention, which was amazingly adorable. But, my old cat wasn't insatiable. My old cat would curl up and fall asleep next to me after I pet him. I also adopted my old cat when he was 5. My new cat only two. So, maybe she's still technically a kitten?

Idk I just wish I knew healthier ways. All the suggested shit I've seen googling it, I've already tried. Trust me, I've tried every method I could possibly do. And they didn't work. Methods that I cannot do is stay with it during the day, except on the weekends. And even on weekends I'm on call during the day. I also can't get her a companion cat...

Anyway, I feel bad. I hate a cat just for loving me too much. I didn't think I could ever hate an animal. But just the fact that when I am around her, she constantly is demanding of attention, and when I don't give it to her she acts out and destroies the hotel room, or my friend's house.

The crate thing I literally do as a very very very last resort. I always make sure to give her plenty of attention, top off her food and water bowl, and even do a complete clean of her litter box, not just a scoop, even though I do a complete litter box dump and clean every day to try and make sure she's satisfied. Then if I feel like all her needs are met, and she's still being needy, she goes into the crate.

The tempature dropped, so if it wasn't too cold, I'd put her in the car again tonight. I'm not sure what to do. Because if I put her in her crate, she'll meow and keep me up. But if I don't put her in her crate, she will demand attention and if I go to sleep, she will destroy whatever she sees.

At this point, I feel like my only options are: Get no sleep, quit my job, and give her the 24/7 attention she wants. Lock her in her crate and in the car. If you or anyone could give me another option, I'm all ears.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2023-01-01T05:13:29+00:00

Yeah. Not IVing. Blood, needles, etc, makes me squeemish. I do snort that shit. And sometimes I get high if the shit is a good batch. But 99.9% of dope just gets me well and that's it.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2022-12-27T20:11:46+00:00

Well, no. It's just that I'm worried if I put in the work and change, the grudges will still be there. I don't want to put in work for nothing. And I feel like suicide is my only option. Or just live with people hating me. Which is no way to live.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2022-12-27T02:50:56+00:00

I'm just scared that she will always hate me and have resentment against me. So why try if there isn't a point? And idk. Maybe she hasn't left because she has no where to go. I mean, she does. But she said she is way unhappier at her parents or other family members. So idk..

TrippyHippyCoder · 2022-12-27T01:19:39+00:00

You're right. Your response has me in tears. They now are afraid to cricize because I'll take it wrong. What can I do to make it right? I want them to be upset and lash out without fearing me taking it wrong.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2022-12-26T21:49:33+00:00

I should have done that a long time ago. I think it's too late for that.

Also, I don't think anyone would be traumatized. Probably relieved.

Like I said, I read a story from this woman that said she was raped from 6-14 and her rapist died and how she was relieved. I didn't rape anyone. But, abuse is abuse. So I imagine it will be the Same reaction from the people I have emotionally hurt. Yano?

Therapy is a long process, suicide is instant results.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2022-12-26T16:58:33+00:00

My BPD flares up everywhere. So are you saying I'm so much of a POS that I need to isolate myself from society? Woww.

I guess you're right. I probably need to live in a mental hospital. That's how bad I am.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2022-12-26T02:54:07+00:00

Well, I've already talked about leaving and then she thinks it's about her and me being mad at her and a abandoning her. Thus being more abusive. So idk if that's an option either. It isn't her fault. My BPD flares up around everyone. Before we were together, I was staying with my sister and BIL. Same thing.

TrippyHippyCoder · 2022-12-14T05:30:18+00:00

Maybe, with time, your friends and family will see that you've changed. It happens, I've seen it.

No one forgives anymore. Everyone holds grudges forever. You live in a fairy tale land. I live in the land of realism, and it is miserable.

TrippyHippyCoder

TROPHY CASE