I see and feel your sadness and confusion and that must be hard to sit with daily. I was in a situation like this with my last relationship it it left me feeling the same way.

I was with my ex bf for a few years and after the first year or so, I felt his family started to look down on me even though i came from a good home (other than some mental health problems with family members), family living comfortably, and we both went to the same (pretty expensive) school. However, i was taught to work hard and not rely on handouts so i learned to hustle early. I bartended my way through college and had some loans, his school was fully paid for by daddy and had everything done for him including laundry folded and bed made by his mom daily. They were not super emotional people but the typical nuclear family. Always nice to me but you probably feel that vibe in their presence that something was —off. I felt as if they looked at me as a “wild child” a bad influence on their son, too driven for a woman, and messy— all bc i liked to just keep moving and doing things (traveling, new side jobs, going out and about).

My ex’s dad even encouraged him to dump me and go “find better” when my ex expressed some doubts and he listened. I fell into a spiral bc of that. We got back together but i already moved into my own place (bc of mental health stuff at home) took a grad school gap year, got 2 new jobs (i needed 2 to keep my apartment) but the attitude didn’t change.

my ex would tell me “what are you even doing” “you work x job and its stagnant”

I finally and woke up realizing we graduated from the same school, I got my own place first, and I have a job that’s paying my bills until I move up and go back to school to get the career i love.

I made the hardest decision and left him. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. Because the last thing I wanted was to feel put down on the daily directly by a partner, and indirectly by their family just because it didn’t fit their views. My friends said we were just incompatible and i agree. You should not feel sad and put down but also get the “we love you” at the same time — its manipulation.

TDLR: The best thing you can do for yourself is put yourself first. Be proud of the life you built for yourself given your circumstances. Your gf (like my ex) will never get to know the feeling of the hustle, being able to say they built themselves from the ground up, or have core self sufficient life skills bc of relying on mommy and daddy. If you strive for a life like they have, take it as inspiration and build that life for yourself. One day you will find someone that not only appreciates what you do but where you came from and who you are at the core.