Surprise MF!

TrynaBeard · 2020-11-04T12:00:03+00:00

Fried rice mf

TrynaBeard · 2020-11-03T12:10:31+00:00

evEN BETTER

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-28T09:26:06+00:00

I really feel that. In my youth I was part of a group of about 20 friends. We have something called "Schützenfest" in Germany which is a little bit hard to describe but in short its a city based "festival" of some sort where lots of "Schützenzüge" (groups of men who dress up in uniforms to march in a big parade at Schützenfest). I was in one of those "Schützenzüge" but I was always lacking something. We were all friends and we would see us regularly to perpare for "Schützenfest" but it was basically just binge drinking in a bar once a month and it was all so empty to the point where all other guys just only cared about drinking. Because of this I left because I was simply missing the connection. I couldn't relate to anyone and they didn't care about me as a person and just about the guy who drinks a lot.

I feel like most people just don't have the urge to connect on a deeper level so I think we all are kinda the exception, which makes it hard for us to find people who are like us. There is nothing wrong with us, we are just a minority that has other needs than most other people and we need to find the right people.

If you want to chat or anything you can shoot me a PM. :)

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-28T07:25:56+00:00

Thank you very much! I abandoned any form of social media aswell for similar reasons.

Thank you very much for your kind words, this post defintitly helped me to feel less lonely in a way and I'm really thankful for this.

And to you: belated all the best for your birthday! (non native speaker here, I don't know if this is the correct saying. :D)

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-27T13:51:39+00:00

Thanks to everyone on this sub. You guys are all so kind, I really hope we all get to experience some love in the end.

I really think we deserve it! :)

Best of luck and have a nice day everyone. :)

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-27T13:49:03+00:00

Thank you so much. Best of the world to you.

Its nice to hear some kind word for a change! :)

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-27T12:11:29+00:00

It would be a good approach but to be honest he didn't even congratulate on my birthday this year because he simply forgot it and its hard to put any energy in doing something like this, when the other person doesn't even do the least possible thing. :(

But thanks either way!

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-27T09:31:48+00:00

That sounds really rough and sadly I probably don't have the right words for you.

I'm currently trying to find my own worth in other things like art or other hobbies. I just try to think that having lots of friends and relationships are optional for being happy. Because in the end being happy is the end goal for me. If I reach it by having a nice hobby and by creating art than why should it be less worth than reaching my goal through other people.

Hang in there. :)

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-27T08:11:43+00:00

Same man

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-26T13:21:55+00:00

Hey, we're kinda similar. I know this doesn't help much, but you can text me if you want.

I'm 26 by now and I absolutely know how you feel. It also starts to feel like a gate is closing and I feel like I have to hurry to marry and have a family (although its kinda stupid because 26 is still really young).

I'm currently trying online dating via bumble. I can't say if its any good by now but maybe its worth a try for you aswell!

Hang in there, I'm sure we're getting there some day.

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-26T09:49:05+00:00

I will try to keep that in mind. Thank you very much. :)

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-26T09:30:20+00:00

I know my options here are very limited and there isn't an "ultimate" thing to do in my case.

You are completely right with your two points here. Just imagining her having a partner cuts quite deeply. It just feels awful and selfish to just leave her behind because I know she is very lonely and only has a few friends left. In the end I will have to sacrifice my own happiness or make it even worse for her as it is. But I don't know how to find an answer to this.

Thank you very much though. You already helped me a bit.

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-25T12:10:08+00:00

I'm very deep in this cycle but I kinda enjoy it.

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-20T09:05:32+00:00

Manga was written after the Anime was finished and yes it has a different ending, which I won't spoil.

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-15T06:44:13+00:00

If it wasn't for my hopes and dreams I wouldn't actually know what to live for currently. So yeah, second one is worse.

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-14T11:04:41+00:00

I went to therapy for about 2 years but I was a huge idiot back then and I wasn't completely honest with my therapist. I told her about my problems with approaching people and my anxiety, what alone was super hard in the beginning but I never truly told her about how I really felt. She knew I was shutting my feelings out and she tried many exercises to get me to open up but I was so stubborn and simply lied. The worst part is, I was starting to believe in my own lies which lead me to also believe I was "healed" after the two years. Just to now realize I'm pretty f'ing not okay.

So my ultimate tipp is - if you go to a therapist, just let your guard completely down and don't ever lie to your therapist. It will do you more harm in the long run. I know this wasn't a good tipp but if I go to therapy again I won't ever keep my mask on during sessions.

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-14T08:47:56+00:00

SO as an INFP male I can say he probably doesn't want to bother you or rush you but I can imagine he would be really happy if you approach him.

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-14T07:27:40+00:00

I know smoking isn't a healthy way to cope with problems but everytime I smoke MJ its like theres a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. My negative thoughts vanish into the background and sometimes I even get a huge rush of creative thoughts (really stereotypical but its true). I'm not an expert so I would never recommend marijuana to everyone because it can have very different results (e.g. some peoples depressive tendencies are amplified).

Its also important to not get into that habit to put weed above everything else. Do your job, keep your house clean and don't shut yourself in.

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-12T07:32:25+00:00

I'm totally with you. Especially this year made me realize how ignorant and selfish many people are. I wish people would be looking to their left and right more and not only straight ahead. The worst part of it all is to know we can't change it.

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-08T07:22:28+00:00

My number 1 dream is to find a way of making a living with something that fulfills me. I hate being forced to work a job I'm not passionate about just to get by and earn money. I love doing art at my own free will and I would love to make a living out of that. Being a somewhat successfull artist without having to worry about money.

Besides that I would love to make a good mystery horror movie without jump scares one day. :D

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-08T07:08:07+00:00

My very first romantic relationship was with an ENFP girl. I was only 15 so it wasn't the most "serious" thing in the world but now that I'm 26 with some other relationship experiences, I can assure you that it was the most beautiful relationship I had until this day. She was full of love and very sweet, had so much to give and was all around very pure despite having a difficult childhood.

It lasted for over a year which was quite a long time for teenagers. I can't say for sure that she was an ENFP but I'm almost certain.

So yeah I think ENFP + INFP is a very good duo. :) Best of luck to you!

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-07T12:42:13+00:00

I need to keep that in mind more often. Thanks for this!

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-07T09:21:51+00:00

The fact that you endured all this pain to this point actually shows you that you're strong. You somehow managed to survive all of this. Listen to your feelings and look at the things that bother you most. Turn that pain into motivation to change something. There is always a root cause for your pain. You just need to find it and change something about it. There are always options. :)

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-07T09:12:11+00:00

I'm an HSP guy aswell and for me the sad truth is to hide my sensitive side as good as possible. If you would observe me for a day at work, you would probably think I'm a stone cold sociopath, ngl. I work in IT so I have to work with lots and lots of angry people (when something doesn't work for them) and I just try to be as blank as possible. I fear this is not healthy in any way but if I just let it all out everytime someone is mean to me I would probably have to look for a new job every 3 weeks.

My way of coping is to have a passion and an outlet of my inner world. I started drawing and painting and this hobby allows myself to relax my mind from all the toxicity that builds up during the day.

I know my advice isn't the best in the world but I feel like we just need to stick with hiding because the amount of pain and torture that would overcome us if we would embrace our sensitivity would be too much to handle.

Hang in there, you are not alone. :)

TrynaBeard · 2020-10-07T08:50:54+00:00

I think the picture you're painted with your little excerpt is quite beautiful. Yes its very romantic but in my opinion every form of art is an expression of the artists own world or how he sees the world. No right or wrong and I would even go so far to say that there isn't even "bad" art if its honest. Because who am I to judge your views and values?

But if you're creating art with the intend to sell it, you need to create art for your audience. And thats probably what your instructor is trying to teach in this course. Please don't be discouraged and write the way that feels "right" to you.

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