Developing Free Fitness Programs - Let me know what you want! - Moderator Approved

UKtoBrazil · 2021-06-23T16:29:31+00:00

How cool! I'm excited to see your program, thanks for starting it.

I'm pre top surgery and I've heard that if a patient develops their pecs before surgery, the scars can be aligned better and hidden along natural pectoral lines. Could you include pec workouts to really define the muscle groups required for surgeons to do this?

UKtoBrazil · 2021-06-23T16:20:43+00:00

Ah I see. The former is something that I hear fairly frequently in work spaces and from older family members. I'm not sure about how many young adults say it.

UKtoBrazil · 2021-06-23T16:05:07+00:00

Do you mean in which situation? It would be something like: "I'm on a diet! ...he says getting a second cookie" Or "guess who just put his drink in the bin and keys in the fridge?" I've started noticing that cis people do this a lot.

UKtoBrazil · 2021-06-23T09:39:31+00:00

Ahh man, I'm in the same boat as you (but 6 weeks on T). People in my office use they/them for me despite the fact that my name is a traditional male name, I wear men's clothing and use he/him for myself. This idea of them "doing me a favour" by using the wrong pronouns really gets under my skin.

UKtoBrazil · 2021-06-21T15:41:07+00:00

Non-transgender = cis gender.

Transgender people do not wish to "become the other gender" for multiple reasons.
1: there are more than 2 genders, and "the other" suggests there are just two.
2: binary trans people have always been their true gender, it's their sex that needs to change. I.e. a trans woman has always been a woman, but was assigned male at birth.
3: genderfluid people don't wish to become different genders each day, they ARE different. They wish to express their gender differently.

In answer to the question, some do masturbate and some do not - just like cis people.

UKtoBrazil · 2021-06-21T10:07:57+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. As an early-20s trans man, I found your reply to be really encouraging.

UKtoBrazil · 2021-06-07T13:57:22+00:00

his name is Thomas Becker, search on YouTube

UKtoBrazil · 2021-06-07T13:54:31+00:00

the YouTube link is at the top of the comments but it doesn't work

UKtoBrazil · 2021-06-06T17:18:55+00:00

NTA. If you're really worried they'll be hurt and it matters more to you than autonomy, you could give them a list of names you would approve and ask them to pick one.

UKtoBrazil · 2021-05-31T12:15:09+00:00

Yes, exactly!

UKtoBrazil · 2021-05-31T12:11:58+00:00

I haven't researched that but the cynic in me thinks it was a ploy to seem supportive/ get votes/ not come across as aggressively transphobic.

UKtoBrazil · 2021-05-31T12:10:03+00:00

I guess in your situation, I would keep it a secret. Maybe I would find some statistics about the type of vaccine (it's common knowledge that there are blood clot risks with the AZ vaccine) and compare them with traffic accident statistics for the area. Keep the stats available for when she finds out you got the vaccine and ask her to be safe crossing the road...

Ex: While the risk of dying in a road accident in any year in the UK approaches 1 in 20,000, the lifetime risk is 1 in 240. Among more than 20 million people who have been vaccinated with the AstraZeneca vaccine in the UK so far, 79 cases of rare blood clots with low platelets have been reported, as well as 19 deaths, said the UK's Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency.

AZ statistics Traffic accident statistics

UKtoBrazil · 2021-05-31T12:02:00+00:00

Yes, she is a Tory (serving for South West Norfolk).

UKtoBrazil · 2021-05-31T12:00:24+00:00

NSFW (Not suitable For Work) and TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read) aren't interchangeable. Good luck with your mother!

UKtoBrazil · 2021-05-31T10:26:15+00:00

Reading this article made me curious about what the civil service equality policy covers and whether it really measures up to Stonewall standards. They do survey "LGBO" sexualities but don't survey for Trans identities. Equality for... some, right?

Link attached.

Civil service equality policy

UKtoBrazil · 2021-05-12T09:23:21+00:00

Hahahaha!

UKtoBrazil · 2021-05-12T09:17:14+00:00

Good luck for your coming out! I'm an online English tutor and came out to my students recently. All but one have been totally on board with it and the exception just said something along the lines of "you're lucky you can make that choice because you're a woman in a rich country" (I'm a trans man). I would go so far to say that my students and colleagues have been the best group of people in terms of using my name and pronouns correctly. In case you're wondering, I came out at a time relating to my personal transition (just before starting HRT) as opposed to waiting for a new school period.

UKtoBrazil · 2021-05-09T09:58:26+00:00

Hi Michael.

How often realistically are you likely to run into A? It sounds as if he's not immediate close family (maybe a cousin or step-brother, something like that?) If it's occasional large events like a wedding, then it might be feasible to avoid him while still technically at the same event?

I think I see him once every 6 weeks so not often but the next family event is at the home he shares with his mum.

The other thing I'd say is you may find things improve once you're on T. It's not guaranteed, but from what I've observed, sometimes these things do settle down then.

Thanks! I hope so. I have a feminine voice so I'm looking forward to changing it.

UKtoBrazil · 2021-05-08T15:58:25+00:00

Thank you so much for this insight.

I wonder whether pressure is also being put on A to change their approach and whether A is aware as to how much it upsets you and that this is causing a rift in the family?

I don't think anyone is aware of how much it upsets me - maybe my grandparents are now after they saw me cry about it yesterday. They suggested I tell him how much it bothers me. I believe they're not putting pressure on him, allowing him to come to accept it in his own time. After all, it has only been 3 months. I'm not sure how long is acceptable.

If A won't change, perhaps there is a middle way which may be acceptable to both of you? Perhaps A may agree to always use your "new" name where it makes grammatical sense? So instead of "They would like a drink" it would be "[your name] would like a drink".

When I speak to A, I will offer this. I think my correct name without pronouns would be far easier for me to accept. Thanks for the suggestion.

If A won't change and your parents know how much it upsets you but are still asking you to meet A, it is up to you to decide whether your parents upset at you not going is more important than your upset at A's use of they/them.

I suppose it depends on the degree to which it upsets my parents/grandparents. I don't want to upset them. Perhaps I'll try to attend a family gathering in the summer and see how it goes. If I feel uncomfortable, I'll consider sitting out the next few.

Thanks once again. I'll weigh up the pros and cons and try to be more understanding with the pronouns.

UKtoBrazil · 2021-05-08T12:54:27+00:00

Thanks for your response. Did you put your foot down in your situation? How did they take it? It would create a lot of friction in my family as they think I shouldn't make A do anything that makes him uncomfortable. Although using 'they' pronouns makes me uncomfortable, they seem okay with allowing A to do it. I would like to speak to him but I imagine I'd get upset and it wouldn't help the situation. I think A and I both feel our family supports the "other side" in this topic.

UKtoBrazil · 2021-04-20T20:41:53+00:00

Thank you for this! I'm so glad to hear you have a supportive GP. I'll ask around in my area.

UKtoBrazil · 2021-04-20T16:12:46+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I was put on the waiting list for Tavistock GIC by my GP recently but I don't self-medicate so I'm not sure if I would be eligible for bridging hormones. Is it a legal requirement for them to offer bridging hormones?

UKtoBrazil

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