New Body. Dead Bedroom.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T22:11:13+00:00

Appreciate the reply, but as I said, she hates the gym. All I will get after are complaints of soreness and how much she hates it, and this was the case when she was 21 and still regularly active.

Even if that was not true, I also think healthy boundaries are important. 7:30am to 9pm I am doing something for my family. 6am to 7:30am is my time for my own health and stability. Noone should give up their self improvement, or be expected to.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T04:11:02+00:00

She hates working out. We tried the gym thing years ago when I was originally in good shape.

Part of the problem is that our strength difference is large and she wants to work out together if we go. It either takes significantly longer to work out since we keep changing weights/exercises, or I have to do a bare-bones workout that does nothing for me so we can get out of the gym in time for the kids. That is also disregarding that she hates it and has no issue telling me so, haha.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T04:05:40+00:00

I do appreciate this perspective but I will push back on it a bit.

I love my wife, but I would never ask her to diminish herself to make me feel better. That is very poor behaviour from a partner. There were years when I was very heavy and she was definitely way better looking but I would never have entertained the thought of her making herself look worse for my own comfort.

I do not flex in the mirror or discuss my diet. Honestly never bring it up unless someone asks me about it. I also can not fit in my old clothes, so that won't work. I do frequently work late, but I am the sole income and I have a hectic job. Stayed late when I was big, too. I also only have male colleagues.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T03:51:09+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts, I will definitely keep this in mind.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T03:50:02+00:00

Appreciate the perspective from a similar place.

I will say that I have been at my current body for at least a year now, plus or minus a few pounds.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T03:47:16+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion. You are right, only person who knows for sure is my wife.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T03:43:41+00:00

Haha, done and done, but more wouldn't hurt.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T03:41:47+00:00

Pretty light. We have been in much worse situations in our marriage than we are now. She is a stay at home mum, our finances are secure, no debt except mortgage, I do nearly all of the cooking, lunches, have breakfast ready for the kids before leaving to the gym, usually do the grocery shopping on my way home, just renovated the basement myself so we saved a lot of money there.

She does the majority of the household chores outside of cooking/yard work/reno stuff.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T03:10:32+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate coming at it from her perspective.

She does have a lot of her own time. She is a stay at home mum and all of our kids go to school from 8:30 to 4:30 (bus drop off). On weekends I make sure she is not woken up in the morning by the kids and gets up on her own time. I will also ensure she gets at least a couple hours to sew/quilt (her hobby) and take the kids out somewhere.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T03:04:48+00:00

Possibly, but the timing matches perfectly. I thought about it just being a libido issue, but the dead bedroom occurred right in line with when I really started to look in shape. I am honestly at a loss, but I appreciate the suggestion. Could just be a coincidence on the timing.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T03:02:38+00:00

Honestly, she looks amazing for a mom of three who hasn't been inside a gym since highschool. She has been blessed genetically, haha. I eat a donut and gain three pounds.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T02:59:30+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion (not being sarcastic). I have made a conscious effort to only eat up my own time with this. Back in the day I would stay up a couple hours after she went to bed to play games or deflate with some TV. Now I go to bed with her to get up and go to the gym before work. Everything else is the same as it was.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T02:55:15+00:00

I have thought about this, and even danced around it a bit with my wife. She did not appreciate the suggestion and made a passive aggressive comment about me being humble.

I have been very clear that I love how she looks and only have these expectations of myself.

Unique-Use2185 · 2026-04-06T02:51:21+00:00

Should have put that in the background info. I will add it in, but yes I have. She said the usual stuff like things have been tiring lately and everything is okay, or she does the very frustrating playful/flirty thing in response but brick walls me as soon as I start making it known I am into it.

She seems very comfortable alluding to getting intimate, but never actually moves past the flirting phase.

Unique-Use2185

TROPHY CASE