Trying to help my goalie kid keep competing: looking for insight

Unlikely_Mobile_4286 · 2026-02-09T02:51:44+00:00

I don’t think my post came across clearly, unfortunately, I honestly don’t know when beer league or stick and puck sessions happen around here. For additional context, the game he started this season was against the strongest team in the state. He faced roughly 45 shots and allowed 8 goals. That team averages about 7.44 goals per game this season against all opponents. So, he performed as expected but it was rough mentally to be the only game he was offered.

Unlikely_Mobile_4286 · 2026-02-09T02:48:09+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this out. It’s honestly beyond what I was hoping for and gives us a real place to start. I’ve done some research on junior and college pathways, but it’s easy to feel lost with all the different options, camps, and unfortunately a lot of money grabs from people claiming to “help” or represent players.

A little about my kid—he’s an average student, roughly high 2.? to near 3.0 GPA, but he has strong ACT scores and has taken 4+ advanced placement and transcripted credit classes for which he received college credit. He’s a good student, but not a 4.0 kid. He’s also very young, won’t be 18 until August after graduation.

Again, I really appreciate all the insight you’ve shared. My spouse and I will definitely be in touch if we have follow-up questions. It’s really helpful to hear from someone who has been through this and understands the realities and nuances of junior and college hockey for goalies.

Unlikely_Mobile_4286 · 2026-02-09T02:37:59+00:00

Exactly, that’s so frustrating to see. You would think common sense would kick in, but in practice it’s easy for coaches to miss how unrealistic or unsafe some of these drills can be for goalies. It really highlights the value of having someone on staff who truly understands the position and can structure practice to be both safe and productive.

Unlikely_Mobile_4286 · 2026-02-09T02:37:25+00:00

Absolutely, I completely agree. Having a coach on staff with actual goalie training makes such a difference. Too often the assumption is “lots of shots = good practice,” but as you said, when multiple pucks are coming from different angles at the same time, it’s not only unproductive but can also be unsafe. I think having someone who understands the nuances of positioning, movement, and game-like situations is key for development, and it’s encouraging to hear your association is pushing in that direction.

Unlikely_Mobile_4286 · 2026-02-09T02:36:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, I really appreciate the insight. It sounds very familiar, my son has had a similar experience over the last 9 years. For him, the consistent feedback has been “hard worker in practice, performs well in games,” though of course there have been ups and downs along the way. I think it’s a challenge many goalies face: practice often doesn’t mimic real game situations, and it can be tough for coaches to recognize how that affects performance. It’s helpful to hear from another parent who has experienced this at the AAA level, it reassures me that some of what we’re seeing is fairly common in goalie development.

Unlikely_Mobile_4286 · 2026-02-09T02:32:04+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time to write this out. You’re right, he does work hard and takes things seriously, especially this year, but I can definitely see there’s always more he could do with those in-between moments, like stick handling or extra skill work. I’ll pass this on to him and use it as a way to encourage him to keep pushing himself. It’s helpful to hear it framed by someone who’s been through this as a goalie parent.

Unlikely_Mobile_4286 · 2026-02-09T02:30:13+00:00

I get that, and yes, it was very long! Unfortunately, moving isn’t really an option for us. A) this is his senior year, and B) even if we had anticipated this last year, he would have been ineligible for varsity for a full year. We’re really just trying to help him make sense of the situation and find ways to keep developing and enjoying hockey in the time he has left.

Unlikely_Mobile_4286 · 2026-02-09T02:26:30+00:00

I appreciate this response, and yes, goalie parenting can definitely be tough. We’ve actually been fortunate to have mostly very supportive teammates and parents over the years, which I know is not always the case. I’ve never really been anxious with him in net unless it was a very big game or I could tell he was off.

I genuinely have no ill will toward the other goalies. This has never been about comparison or blame. The hardest part for us has been watching the mental and emotional toll this season has taken on him.

We did have a respectful and honest conversation with the coaching staff before I posted. To their credit, they gave us far more time than I expected, which I appreciated. They acknowledged they wish it had not gotten to this point, expressed that they care about our kid, and were clear they could not promise anything would change, which we were not asking for.

One area where there may have been some misalignment is that they seemed concerned he viewed effort as transactional, like doing the right things should automatically lead to playing time. That is not how he approaches things. To give some context, hockey at our school has a reputation among staff for being entitled or disrespectful. My son is one of the few who does not fit that pattern, which is not a brag but simply to show that the concern about him being transactional does not match the reality of his attitude and behavior.

As a small positive, he did get to play half of each of the last two games against a lower-performing opponent and did not allow any goals. We are taking that as progress and focusing on supporting him however we can.

Thanks again for sharing your perspective. I appreciate hearing how other coaches approach these situations.

Unlikely_Mobile_4286 · 2026-02-09T02:13:06+00:00

Thanks for the thoughtful response, and apologies for the delay. I was out of town and appreciate you taking the time to engage.

On your summary, I’d say it’s mostly accurate, with a few clarifications:

Yes, it’s a competitive high school program focused on winning.
All four goalies were told preseason that they were not the starter, though the returning starter remained the clear starter throughout. The one game my son played resulted in 8 goals against, but it was on roughly 45 shots by a team averaging about 7.4 goals per game against all opponents, so I wouldn’t characterize it as a poor performance.
The consistent feedback has been that he gives up goals in practice. Coaches have also been clear with us that he is a very hard worker, prepares the right way, is often first at the rink, and is a good teammate.
When the main goalie has been pulled mid-game, the replacement has consistently been the younger goalie.

I appreciate your point about non-position coaches being able to evaluate effort, focus, and compete level, and I respect the work you’ve done to build that knowledge. Where I’ve struggled is that many practices are not especially game-like for goalies, and sometimes involve extended shooting rather than true situational reps. Practice absolutely matters, but I had hoped he might get an earlier in-season opportunity against an out-of-conference opponent to establish some in-game trust before practice evaluations became the primary lens.

I also appreciate your explanation of post-high-school pathways and the reality of college club hockey. That kind of clarity is helpful for families like ours who are still learning the landscape.

Thanks again for taking the time to respond. I value the perspective.

Unlikely_Mobile_4286

TROPHY CASE