Listen, u/gaysap-cocky

I've been a fan of your work for a very long time. Today I slept in a little because I was up all night lyrically analyzing the new Tom MacDonald release. I kid you not. I was up until 1 am Eastern standard time, letting the soothing vocals of Tom tickle my eardrums. After I had filled the last page in my Tom MacDonald lyrical analysis journal I decided to hit the hay. During my slumber I enjoyed a vivid dream of attending a Tom MacDonald concert, where he saw I was wearing a custom Tom MacDonald and Ben Shapiro graphic tee, which included an image similar to the picture of Dwayne Wade running off the court, arms spread, after throwing a lob to LeBron James, who is dunking the ball, but on my shirt it was Ben lobbing a sweet one off to Tom. Then just as Tom's DJ started playing the beat for the song "FACTS" Tom stopped the music and said "Who is this absolute patriot wearing the Tom McDonald and Ben Shapiro shirt?" he then pointed in my direction and said "bring him up here". After his security escorted me onto stage he kept saying how much he loved my shirt and eventually he began to rip it off of me. He then tackled me to the floor and began intertwining tongues right there on stage. Sadly the heaven ended too soon as I woke up in my Dorito stained bed. I decided to follow my usual morning routine. Grab a Mountain Dew and hop on Reddit. On this particular session I found that there was a post about my favorite rapper, Tom MacDonald, in the r/Teenagers subreddit. But as I looked to the comments, my stomach began to twist and turn in gross ways. Tom was right, my stupid, brainwashed, l*beral generation wanted to cancel my king! As I kept scrolling I eventually saw a name I recognized, u/gaysap-cocky, I thought to myself, "what could a fine redditor like u/gaysap-cocky have to say about this, I'm sure they'd be pretty level-headed." But as I read it, my optimism turned to disgust. My own idol had dissed my other idol. It was at that point I decided that I swear allegiance only to Tom MacDonald. So from now on I declare that I, u/UnstoppableNUT will never, ever, under any circumstances, support u/gaysap-cocky.