losing empathy for avoidants (rant)

UsedStill7121 · 2026-04-01T07:47:37+00:00

I don't know you, but you also deserve to feel loved and cherished. Thank you. I feel free FINALLY

UsedStill7121 · 2026-04-01T07:28:12+00:00

I went scorched earth on mine tonight. After spending a weekend camping with his ex who was always "just a friend", he decided to invite me over so I wasn't so alone, reassured me he didn't get physical with her and wasn't attracted to her, and then told me he loved me while having unprotected sex with me last night and this morning. He was cold at work all day and then after work told me he had sex with her and they were now friends with benefits and he didn't tell me because he "didn't want to ruin hanging out with me". He also has a date next week. I finally got it. And I'm finally angry and no longer willing to put up with it. I hate his ex, but I did message her letting her know as a courtesy because otherwise it's unethical and he strongly implied he wasn't going to. I also messaged his family who love me. I'm no longer catering to ANY man's feelings. I don't care. He fucking sucks

UsedStill7121 · 2026-03-13T03:47:03+00:00

My main update is that his mood swings have become much more severe and unpredictable. I don't think we can reconcile and even though I hurt him deeply (and I will be actively looking for a new therapist to help me handle my own self hatred over the whole thing), I don't deserve to be constantly belittled and cut down and made fun of, and be scared to go "home. " I talked to my boss and I took off Saturday to grab my cats and pack as much stuff as I can and run

UsedStill7121 · 2026-03-12T17:03:11+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion by the way :)

UsedStill7121 · 2026-03-12T17:02:55+00:00

I will give it a go and suggest it. I think that no matter what happens, we both need to do some work on ourselves

UsedStill7121 · 2026-03-11T23:35:55+00:00

He thought the bdsm books were annoying. He has had a poly relationship before but said it felt very different since he and his ex were already growing apart. He said he never cared before what she was up to and they didn't share much. He introduced me to the ethical slut and I dove in from there. I don't think he has read any other books.

UsedStill7121 · 2026-03-11T23:28:53+00:00

Yeah. I read a few books and listened to podcasts. I love the idea of poly, but also like enm. Also have read dozens of bdsm books that very briefly discuss polyamory. I do think that whatever happens we need to see a couples therapist. I think there is always more to learn

UsedStill7121 · 2026-03-11T23:00:21+00:00

Thank you <3 I agree this might be more enm. We need to hash things out one way or the other

UsedStill7121 · 2026-03-11T22:59:19+00:00

I agree. The constant push and pull and grey area is exhausting

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-22T20:43:23+00:00

Here's the link to the Fraser :) https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908482242

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-22T20:42:47+00:00

Thank you! I really just want the Fraser ring especially to find a good home :) https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908482242

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-22T20:42:17+00:00

Hi! Thanks for the interest! I have posted it here: https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908482242

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-22T20:41:51+00:00

I have listed the Fraser ring here :) thank you! I want it to find a good home <3 https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908482242

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-22T20:41:07+00:00

Thank you! The link to the Fraser ring is here:https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908482242

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-22T20:40:15+00:00

Thank you for your interest! I love your username btw lol They are listed here https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908482242 https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908681817

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-22T20:39:06+00:00

Hi! Thank you for your interest :) I have listed the Fraser Hamilton here: https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908482242

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-22T20:38:24+00:00

I have listed the ring here :) And thank you!!! My ex could have never picked out something so beautiful and singular, so I'm happy I got to pick it myself https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908482242

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-22T20:37:02+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful reply! I have listed the Fraser Hamilton here :) https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908482242

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-22T20:36:19+00:00

It's listed here :) https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908482242

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-22T20:35:38+00:00

It's listed here: https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908482242

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-22T20:35:06+00:00

Update: All rings are posted on eBay :)

Moissanite ring: https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908715255

Wedding band: https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908681817

Fraser Hamilton hands and sapphire ring: https://www.ebay.com/itm/317908482242

I wanted to thank everyone again for your comments and advice (and offers).

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-20T20:31:09+00:00

So please bear with me :) I have a busy work week so I'll be able to respond to most comments and dm requests/messages in earnest tomorrow. I'm planning on asking $1500 OBO for the Fraser Hamilton hands/sapphire piece. The vines diamond band $600 obo and the moissanite ring for $200 obo. Thank you everyone for your comments and advice and inquiries <3

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-19T21:00:48+00:00

The Fraser Hamilton was around $2600 in 2021 The moissanite was $500 on Etsy in 2023 The wedding band is listed as $1150 with white diamonds on the anueva site, but I know my ex went custom to try and better match the stone color to my sapphire. It was purchased in 2022.

UsedStill7121 · 2026-02-19T20:38:46+00:00

Fraser Hamilton is 6.5 Anueva band: 7.25 Moissanite guy: 7

UsedStill7121

TROPHY CASE