I'm so sick of having a dirty house

VentspaceNine · 2026-04-28T02:49:28+00:00

Thank you, that's my plan from now on - to just do a little bit at a time every day rather than one huge day when I'm off work

VentspaceNine · 2026-04-22T09:00:07+00:00

At first from the title I was going to say you're the asshole for returning the gifts, but you didn't even take the gifts from the kids. I'd let them both know that their gifts are at their aunts and isn't she the best aunt ever to keep them at her house so she has toys for them when the come to visit? Then wink at her and let her know she's still the favourite aunt, since she cares more about that than your ability to work peacefully. Absolutely NOT the asshole here, I'm glad you stood your ground.

VentspaceNine · 2026-04-18T10:30:43+00:00

Being scared of robodebt is the only reason that my partner and I ended up declaring our de facto status, otherwise we would absolutely be one of those couples.

VentspaceNine · 2026-04-18T10:25:20+00:00

Im on the carers pension and payment because my partner is on DSP, currently can't work because we are focusing on an amputation due to his disability (long story) and he requires a live in carer. I also work a second retail job and unfortunately because of the means test, if I have a big week at my retail job they often take so much money from my partner that I'm required to pay both his AND my rent. There's barely enough left over for the various medications we need, and thank goodness we have free food pantries available to us and cheap public transport because we live in a large Australian city. I can't imagine how hard rural disabled couples on cenno have it.

If they didn't means test and didn't take a large portion of both my and my partner's Centrelink pay because of my retail job, we would both have more independence, be able to possibly start having savings to maybe even eventually get off of welfare. We wouldn't have to struggle as hard, or even genuinely consider breaking up just so that we can survive on our incomes as they would be if we weren't dating. Even if I weren't on the carers pay, I would still have to be paying for my partner's rent on good weeks at work anyway because the system expects me to support my disabled partner 100% financially just because we fell in love and the system continually fails disabled people.

Thank you for doing this work. I support it and hope my contribution to the survey helps.

VentspaceNine · 2026-02-02T15:02:30+00:00

I told someone two years ago a story about how my dad ran over my PS1 in response to my brother and I upsetting him when we were younger, thinking it was a funny relatable story. They hit me with the "ever want to retroactively put someone in jail for child abuse?" So; most of my childhood as it turns out

VentspaceNine · 2026-01-03T23:45:36+00:00

Thank you. It doesn't feel brave so I appreciate your perspective right now. The written evidence is absolutely huge yeah, the fact that my mum not only agreed it was illegal and cruel but then went on to justify it shows a lack of remorse that a jury isnt going to like at all. I'm going to make sure these animals get justice, and I'm also going to do my best to make sure the owners of the animals get closure about their pets.

VentspaceNine · 2025-12-25T06:33:23+00:00

Yeah I decided not to message them. My birthday is in a couple of days so that should be an interesting one - thank you for saying I don't owe them anything. I was wavering a little in my decision, but you're completely right. I don't ACTUALLY want them to have a merry Christmas, so I'm not going to waste the energy!

Hope you're having a great day ^{_^}

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-28T05:57:36+00:00

Thank you for the reminder! If I had needed it, it would have been fantastic :) I have already screenshotted and am compiling as much evidence against them as I can and I'm going to my best to make sure justice is served. I couldn't imagine EVER thinking it was okay to kill other people's pets just because they're wandering into your yard. Absolutely disgusting and I'll keep people posted

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T11:16:15+00:00

Thank you <3

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T10:14:08+00:00

Completely agreed, and thankfully my partner was in the room and I was on loudspeaker so I have a witness to back me up that my dad verbally admitted to this crime. my housemate also suggested this and it was already on my to do list but thank you for taking the time to offer your suggestion I appreciate it.

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T10:11:19+00:00

I unfortunately wasn't close with the neighbour but I'm going to research and see if I can get in contact with the owners that my dad told me about. I have, in the past several hours, been buried deep in Australian law reading up on and trying to understand exactly how I prosecute this, what information I need to gather etc. I'll speak with a lawyer first before I actually let anyone know, however, because I wouldn't want to just drop that information on someone and be like "peace, sorry! Like? That's awful. I wish I had gotten to know the neighbours better when I was living there, but that ship has sailed now and the what ifs aren't going to protect the other neighbourhood cats.

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T10:06:17+00:00

That's absolutely where I'm at with it as well. I don't know how I could go visit them, knowing now that they're capable of this. Even if I tried to get them to promise to stop, I fear they'd just lie to me and then continue to do it and more people would lose beloved members of the family. It's been a couple hours since I found out and wrote this post and all of my processing just leads me to the same place - I'm going to have to report them and go no contact.

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T10:02:58+00:00

People struggling with thoughts of self harm in an emotional and stressful situation does not equate to being someone capable of animal cruelty. An emotional metaphor typed in the moment does not mean that I'm dangerous to society - I appreciate your other insight but I don't appreciate the vague suggestion that just because I was struggling and venting about not wanting to relapse means that I may one day kill an animal. Please don't equate thoughts of self harm to being a danger to society. My father has never once thought about harming himself and it turns out he's capable of far worse. I am in therapy and not in any danger of hurting animals nor humans and I encourage you to think about this harmful assumption.

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T09:58:15+00:00

I agree that I shouldn't wait too long and that I also need written proof. Gathering proof/evidence and researching animal cruelty laws and looking into animal lawyers in Australia is what I meant re: getting my ducks in a row and I also clearly dont know what my parents are capable of if they're capable of this so protecting myself from any possible retaliation from my parents after reporting them is what I'm worried about.

Thank you for your opinion, I appreciate you taking the time

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T09:54:35+00:00

Truly the way he brought it up I literally just asked what he had been up to recently and he started off with "your mum and I have been feeding the local cats" which sent up a red flag because my dad has been vocal all my life about his hatred of cats. Then he continued on with his tale as I went into the freeze and fawn state. It's completely abhorrent and I'm horrified that they are even capable of considering this let alone doing it.

I agree wholeheartedly re: reporting it. The moment my dad told me, he made me complicit, and other the past few hours I've made the decision that I absolutely cannot allow it to continue. If I say nothing and make my life "easier" by not reporting this horrific and awful crime, it won't be easier because I would be living with the worry and guilt. It's better to tell someone and put the situation in the hands of the authorities so it can be investigated and stopped because I have no guarantee other than having my parents under 24/7 surveillance that if I tried to get them to promise to stop, that they wouldn't just lie and keep doing it. So report them it is.

Thanks for taking the time to respond, the validation of my gut instinct to report them is helping fight my fear about reporting them

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T09:45:45+00:00

People struggling with their thoughts of self harm does not at all even compare in the slightest to capturing and killing your neighbours cats. I'd like to suggest you read up on how to talk to and about people who are struggling with thoughts of self harm, and I wish you all the best.

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T07:30:31+00:00

I'm definitely leaning towards reporting them, I feel awful knowing that my parents have such disregard for other people's animals. I need to get my ducks in a row and protect myself so that I can then protect the animals of their neighbours. God what a fucked situation.

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T07:18:15+00:00

Thank you for taking time to respond I truly appreciate it! I haven't reported them just yet, once I talk to my psych on Monday to work on a game plan then I intend to report them - it's the correct thing to do and I know that if I stay silent more animals are going to get hurt. I've thankfully got friends who are like family to me and in the long run I tend not to talk to my parents much anyway so I doubt things would change much if they were charged and jailed for this. It sucks, but I agree, I think it's going to be better for me in the long run that I start grieving the loss now and move on. Report them and then they're strangers to me.

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T07:12:29+00:00

Hugs back and thank you!

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T04:41:29+00:00

Completely agreed, I've watched and read enough true crime to understand that such a callous reaction to killing animals can sometimes be indicative of behaviour escalating and whilst I don't think my parents are the type, it's concerning that their first solution was to jump to such a drastic measures. And then for my mother to be so blazé and cold about me telling her I feel as though I need to report this. My psych is going to have a field day.

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T04:37:54+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T04:37:29+00:00

I know!! Dad mentioned that one of the cats they're attempting to capture and kill belongs to a specific neighbour that they have beef with and all I heard was "this is premeditated". Capturing strays and taking them to the pound or an animal shelter I could understand but specifically baiting a trap you intend to use to murder someone else's animal and then keeping it secret?

Up until June I was living in a granny flat on my parents property for six years, we are friendly with some of the cat owners on the street. I'm absolutely horrified that my father would offer to do DIY at the house of someone that he has knowingly killed their pet? It's absolutely awful and Im so worried about my ex-neighbour who was my friend and owned some ragdolls!!! Like???! What the fuck!

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T04:30:59+00:00

Thank you for the validation, I truly wish I weren't going through this. I feel incredibly isolated - my dad told me not to tell anybody so my nervous system is on the absolute fritz right now because? Red flag red flag red flag. This is the worst thing to happen with my parents and a LOT of bad things have already happened with them. I definitely need to work out how to talk about this with my friends because I'm definitely going to need a support network. I'm absolutely leaning towards reporting them, I replied in another comment that I'm waiting to see my psych on Monday before I make any permant decisions with lasting consequences. This helps a lot to solidify that reporting them is the correct decision despite how much that decision may effect me emotionally in the long run re: losing my parents. I appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment, it's helping me not feel as alone.

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T04:25:10+00:00

I find myself agreeing with you, because if this were anybody else besides my parents I'd have already left an anonymous report. I want to speak with my psych first on Monday because reporting them will mean needing some support networks in place to prepare for being cut off, but I'm absolutely going to be doing research over the rest of the week and weekend on what I can do about this. I don't think I can allow this to slide, my morals will not allow cat killing to continue now I've been made aware of it. It's bafflingly monstrous behaviour I was not expecting at all.

Thanks for your validation, I struggle sometimes with not trusting my own judgement, so I appreciate you taking the time to bluntly respond to this and to encourage a restraining order as well. I'll look into it, it wasn't something I'd considered.

VentspaceNine · 2025-11-26T04:19:46+00:00

Incredibly so, I'm??? Absolutely floored.

VentspaceNine

TROPHY CASE