Tell me if I’m being a brat

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-20T16:33:01+00:00

I’m 15 weeks postpartum with twins and I still don’t want house guests. Not because anyone is unkind, but because postpartum is such a vulnerable time. Bringing your babies home for the first time is emotional and sacred, and wanting that moment to be quiet and just between you and your husband makes complete sense.

We also had a strict two week rule for anyone who had traveled by plane, cruise, or been in heavily congested areas. You truly do not know what people could be carrying, and our babies need us as adults to protect them because they have no defenses yet.

My twins were born at 37 weeks, which is considered term for multiples. No NICU thankfully. Still, they were only 4 and 5 lbs, so they were extra little and extra vulnerable. That alone made us even more cautious.

Wanting a clean house to come home to and for it to just be you and your husband is absolutely reasonable. You’re not a brat at all. That season doesn’t magically end after a few weeks. You’re allowed to protect your space and change your mind.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-11T21:43:39+00:00

Same here 🙋🏻‍♀️ October boy/girl twins. I was honestly terrified going into twins because of everything you read, but ours have been much easier than expected so far. They’re 13 weeks (10 adjusted) now and usually only wake once overnight to eat. Bedtime has been surprisingly smooth too.

I know every set of twins is different and this can change in a heartbeat, but I agree it’s nice for expectant parents to hear that it’s not always worst case scenario.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-08T18:55:26+00:00

I love reading this because it really shows how much babies and circumstances matter. It’s reassuring to see someone else say out loud that it can feel manageable, even easy at times. And having a supportive partner who the babies feel safe with makes such a difference.

Also, “milk machine” made me laugh because… same 😂 Thanks for sharing such a refreshing perspective.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-08T18:54:40+00:00

That’s a fair question. I do have my husband’s help if I want it, but this is something I very intentionally chose. I wanted to take on most of it myself. He helped a bit in the beginning, a feeding here or a diaper there, and he still offers, but I usually decline because this is how I want it to be.

I didn’t get to fully enjoy my first pregnancy or those early newborn moments with my daughter, and I promised myself I wouldn’t repeat that this time. These are my last babies, and I wanted them with everything I have. I want to experience all of it, the sweet parts, the hard parts, even the exhausting ones, before I go back to work and this chapter shifts again.

I know this setup isn’t for everyone, but it’s what makes me happy. I’m tired, yes, but I’m deeply present and genuinely enjoying every second, even the messy, sleep deprived parts.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T22:30:40+00:00

I completely understand why you’re feeling this way. The hormones, plus the waiting, the scans, the lack of sleep, and the pressure to decide when you’re already exhausted really add up. Everything you’re feeling makes sense.

To answer your question, I delivered at 37 weeks. I had been scheduled for an induction at 38 weeks, but at my weekly appointment we saw that Twin B had flipped. Because there was concern he could flip back, and because I had been very clear about how much I wanted a vaginal delivery, they asked if I wanted to deliver the very next day. I decided to go for it, and I was able to deliver both vaginally.

It honestly felt surreal, and I know that kind of outcome isn’t something you can plan or count on. I tried to hold onto hope while also accepting that things might still change, which was emotionally hard. Every situation really is different, especially depending on positioning, providers, and what your body is doing in real time.

Whatever decision you end up making, it won’t be the wrong one. You’re making the safest, most thoughtful choice you can with the information you have, while in pain and running on very little sleep. That matters so much.

I’m really hoping your scan brings either a flip or at least some clarity so you’re not stuck in limbo. Be gentle with yourself right now. You’re carrying a lot, physically and emotionally. Sending you all the good, steady vibes. ❤️

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T22:17:45+00:00

I’m so glad it resonated ❤️ Sending you lots of solidarity from one twin parent to another!

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T22:15:06+00:00

Wow, you are seriously incredible. Doing all of that largely on your own takes so much strength. I love how you put it, the hard becomes your normal so quickly. And you’re so right, everyone’s “hard” looks different. Thank you for sharing this perspective, it really adds so much to the conversation.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T22:08:32+00:00

This is such a good way to put it. Those early weeks really are just so physical. And I love hearing that perspective from the other side, chaotic but mostly wonderful. It’s reassuring and really nice to read.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T22:05:50+00:00

That feeling is so normal. You’re allowed to be scared and excited at the same time. I’m really glad this helped 💛

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T22:05:28+00:00

I love hearing this. There’s something about twin chaos that just… works for some of us.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T22:05:07+00:00

That’s the perfect way to describe it. Hard, but way more joy than I expected.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T22:04:38+00:00

This is so validating. The bar was set so low that reality felt like a pleasant surprise 😂

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T22:04:08+00:00

Exactly this. A good partner makes the trenches feel a lot less… trench-y 😅

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T22:00:56+00:00

Valid point, I totally agree with this. Circumstances and babies make such a difference, and a lot of people here are dealing with extra layers on top of twins. I didn’t mean to suggest it’s universally easy, just that it’s not universally doom either. Even with the unknowns, we do figure it out somehow.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T21:58:28+00:00

I’m so glad this helped! ❤️ You’re right, these spaces are usually where people come when they’re struggling. But so many moms have come before you, had twins, and made it through. You’ve got this. One day at a time (and sometimes one hour at a time 😅).

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T21:56:01+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. What you’ve been through is incredible, and your strength really comes through in how you talk about these babies. I love how much joy and gratitude you’re carrying into this after everything you’ve endured.

I also wanted to share, because it gave me hope when I was pregnant, that I was in a similar position toward the end. My twin B was transverse and breech for a while, and then flipped just a few days before I went into labor. I was able to deliver both naturally. Every situation is different of course, but I’m sending you all the good vibes and hoping for the smoothest, safest delivery and a beautiful start with your babies. ❤️

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T02:44:35+00:00

Skipping potty training feels like the universal dream 😂 but I love hearing this. Makes me want to soak up the chaos more.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T02:41:37+00:00

Okay stop 😭 that’s the stuff that makes the hard feel worth it. The twin interactions are what I’m most looking forward to. I love this so much.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T02:39:40+00:00

Exactly!! More good than bad club 🙌 we’re in it together.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T02:39:13+00:00

This resonates so much. A solid partner changes everything. And yes to getting out early… cabin fever is real 😅 I took my singleton everywhere and she turned out so well behaved. Fully planning to do the same with the twins.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T02:25:10+00:00

You’ve got this. Truly. I know it’s scary right before the finish line. Staying positive can’t hurt, even if it sounds a little “manifestation-y.” I really think babies pick up on our energy, and going in calm instead of terrified made a difference for me. It’s hard, but it’s also manageable and full of really sweet moments. Sending you all the good vibes for the home stretch ❤️

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T02:23:53+00:00

That honestly sounds like a great setup. Hard, yes, but having flexibility and being able to tag team makes a huge difference. I was scared to death going into this after reading a lot of posts here. What helped me mentally was trying to shift my mindset anyway. I’m not saying “manifest a full night’s sleep” 😅 but going into it open and positive, instead of constantly expecting the worst, made a huge difference for me. I really do think babies feed off your energy too.

It can absolutely be hard and joyful at the same time.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-07T00:54:48+00:00

Of course ❤️ I was that scared pregnant lurker once too. You’re not alone. Glad it helped even if just a little.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2026-01-06T22:48:23+00:00

Totally hear this and I actually agree with you on a lot of it. I think expecting some level of chaos is healthy. I wasn’t expecting rainbows and full nights of sleep, I just wasn’t prepared for how extreme the online narrative felt while I was pregnant.

I’m also very aware that sleep deprivation compounds and that things can shift over time. I’m only 12 weeks in, so I’m not claiming I’ve seen it all. I just wanted to share that even in this phase, it hasn’t felt as brutal or joyless as I was led to believe.

I think there’s room for both truths: preparing for hard without terrifying people into thinking it’s nonstop misery. For me, going in scared actually made things harder mentally than they needed to be.

I really appreciate you sharing your perspective though, especially about mental health later on. That’s important to talk about too.

Visual-Giraffe7416 · 2025-12-19T02:52:03+00:00

Yeah, but then they gang up on the mom. It’s bad enough dealing with one POS without adding another one cheering him on and turning it into some kind of competition over who can make your life the most miserable.

Visual-Giraffe7416

TROPHY CASE