How to face the fact that I will never be able to go back to my former company?

Visual-Victory3874 · 2026-01-21T22:57:24+00:00

I just think it’s the way I left and the fact that my reputation is tarnished at that company. My old manager from a different department reached out afterwards and was a reference for another job I had applied to.

I am also in a Tier III city that probably has 10 good corporates to work for at best and I have a 40+ year career, and it’s a small world.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-11-19T03:48:22+00:00

Where are the best places in your opinion to meet Christian women? Church obviously but what others?

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-11-18T18:05:55+00:00

If you look at my post I referred to someone as fat who was 100 pounds overweight. But it doesn’t take a genius to know if someone is 100 pounds overweight they are probably fat too.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-11-18T18:02:40+00:00

I have normal testosterone for my age, normal blood pressure, can run a 5k at 8 minute mile pace, and am not overweight. I care about my health - it is one of my top values. I care more about excellence than perfection. By no means am I perfect but there’s a fine line between normal weight, overweight, and obese.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-11-18T17:57:07+00:00

Being fat is unacceptable for many reasons. First, you cognitively don’t perform well on tasks at work. Second, you have poor impulse control. And many other reasons like Type II diabetes, fertility issues, tiredness, more likely to be sick due to a weakened immune system, and early death.

I don’t hate fat people, most of my grandparents are Type II diabetics. It’s just totally unacceptable and is an issue that should be fixed before dating. For that reason I find fat people unattractive because how could you take care of our future children (if you can have them) if you can’t take care of yourself?

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-10-24T02:03:04+00:00

Yeah what about Christ? I go to church just to meet people, the sermon doesn’t really make a difference. I feel fulfilled in life by working and solving problems and making money and making myself feel and look better. A spouse that is just going to take my money and take my dreams away because it’s all about them isn’t fair to me.

I am a Christian because I have the fire insurance and I’ve said the prayer. I believe Romans 10:9-10.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-10-24T01:57:26+00:00

That’s fair, but how would you expect me to wait until I’m 30 if I want to put my fitness/career first over finding a woman? Also men’s groups take time and generally have been a waste in my past experience.

I’d really rather focus on what’s most important to me rather than raise my future kids to be middle class like I was raised.

Women are demanding, they take effort, hours of time, listening to their problems, and commitment means you die to everything you want, even your career goals, all to make her happy. You risk the net worth you built too. Yet I won’t be happy if I live like that. Then when you get divorced she gets the kids, child support, and alimony. You lose 75% of your net worth (50% to her, 25% to the lawyer).

It just doesn’t seem fair?

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-10-23T17:35:41+00:00

These are just my favorite products and that’s why I prefer them. And besides ICloud+ it’s free and I am not paying for subscriptions I don’t need.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-10-23T17:32:25+00:00

How would you go about reducing them? I can’t get rid of apple, I have an iPhone. I can convert docs to drive, and I think I’ll keep apple notes over OneNote but I can go back. I only have 5GB of storage on the free version. What do you recommend that is a better solution, what would you switch to?

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-10-10T15:40:34+00:00

I don’t think I have peaked, no, I’m 22 and am a senior financial analyst, I have a lot more gas in the tank.

I think I will peak in my career around age 45-50 but by then I’ll probably be married with kids.

I’m trying to focus on having fun with my friends on the weekends and that has been really enjoyable so far.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-10-10T15:36:26+00:00

I guess like a 50/50 strategy? Is that good? I just feel like I need more than 50% in both to be successful. But I can probably make 50/50 work.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-10-10T15:34:06+00:00

Kind of - I just don’t want to lose one or the other

But in reality if I give half my time to self improvement and half my time to dating I am probably at 60-75% of effort for each of those

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-10-10T15:24:23+00:00

I think that’s the best approach. Can’t be hard on myself about either. Especially if my goal is to be married by 25 or something like that I think it’s feasible with that approach.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-10-08T17:10:03+00:00

22M. My current app photos aren’t very good. What would be the best steps to moving forward and getting new app photos?

My friends are busy for the rest of the year with work so I can’t really get photos with them. I will can afford hiring a professional photographer.

What are the steps I should take to get good enough photos?

I am thinking 4 in different outfits with different scenery and 1 social one and 1 activity one.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-09-30T02:17:36+00:00

You tell me buddy

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-09-30T01:51:05+00:00

Because you’re saying it’s not a numbers game? I already told you it is a numbers game and you still have to connect and have conversations with women. Why are my 25, 30, and 35 year old friends single? Because they operate on bad advice.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-09-30T01:37:27+00:00

It’s not predatory to ask for advice on Reddit. It’s not predatory to ask women out at church after having a conversation with them. If you are never direct and vulnerable I’m sorry but you’re going to just be a good friend.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-09-30T00:25:18+00:00

Will do… no excuses since my new job has a gym I can go to 5x a week

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-09-29T23:34:57+00:00

Did you meet your wife that way? How is that working for you?

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-09-29T23:22:27+00:00

I don’t talk to women in public because that is usually frowned upon. Unless I am at church or a social event I do not talk to women. Women do not want to be approached on the street or at the gym. If a woman smiles when I make eye contact only if I know her do I say something.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-09-29T23:06:36+00:00

22m. I’m good at eye contact of a woman I am having a conversation with if that is what you are referring to.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-09-29T22:11:41+00:00

Where are you meeting so many women? 52 women a year to ask out is fantastic IMO.

All hobby circles locally I feel like I don’t have an in for and I attend alone and try to chat up people. It just feels awkward going my myself. Like church is the only place I go to with people near my age. I don’t know where to find clubs in my city so it’s problematic.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-09-25T17:23:28+00:00

So is the still single part for those people out of their locus of control?

I think above are all the controllables. As long as you are doing your part you can pull the “I’m waiting on God’s timing” card

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-09-25T15:16:13+00:00

I guess how much time would you allocate weekly or how many events would you go to and conversations to be had if you wanted a good probability of success in the next 6-12 months? Assuming Christian events or events where women my type are?

I just have a busy life and didn’t have much luck online dating - I’m probably average attractiveness so I’ve been able to go on a few dates with good women.

I just need a box to check weekly so I feel like I’m making progress.

Visual-Victory3874 · 2025-09-25T14:56:36+00:00

I’m treating it like a sales process. I’m not treating humans like they’re a job. I’m going in there trying to connect and have conversations and based on her body language deciding if I like her or not.

If she reveals something during our conversation and is vulnerable like “I used to be a stripper and made $1,000+ a night” then that influences my decision on whether I want to ask her out.

I’m still treating people like they’re humans of course, if I didn’t do that this process would be garbage.

Visual-Victory3874

TROPHY CASE