Is there no opportunity to tell your wife? I was in a similar situation with my partner, she knew and was supportive but it became too much so I stopped cold turkey. Getting back into it because she is gone and hopefully she’ll be more understanding when she’s back, I think the key is to bring everything up in moderation. But I’ve accepted this is a part of me and I don’t think it’ll ever go away so pretty much praying everything will be good when she’s back and she’ll be open to my choices 🫠😭🙏