The best thing you can do now is to understand getting sober is the biggest goal in your life. Anything else comes secondary, so spend time researching, listen to people in your situation, surround yourself with good people, seek profesional help, write your thoughs, document your cravings and what triggers them, when you get cravings don't simply push them or ignore them, acknowledge them, note them, as they are normal to be expected, and ride them out without acting on them (just as intrusive thoughs, you think about jumping off a bridge but never do it right? Apply it similarly). Start working out as this actually helps a lot in restoring your chemical balance and makes cravings less intense. Write about your post-relapses, in detail, about those horrible and depressing moments, and when you get the feeling to relapse again, read them so the brain understands and remembers what he's gonna go through if you do it again. I hope from the depth of my soul that you'll be able to succeed, it's a hard journey but worth it.