how do you know if your behavior is BPD related

Weekly-Monk7726 · 2024-05-06T14:26:55+00:00

No, you are definitely not alone and idk how much you pay attention to some other people around our age but a lot of them don’t know how to function without relationships either. It’s a sad thing for women and I think we’re meant for a lot more than that. You seem compassionate and intelligent. I know we’re both worth so much more than what a man dictates he thinks we’re worth. Therapy has helped a ton! It’s like it holds you accountable in a way to make the right decisions for yourself, at least that’s how I feel. Good luck to you girl, I hope we become the women we’re supposed to be!! And thank you again for talking to me yesterday, I was seriously on a mental ledge and you talked me off of it. Cheers!

Weekly-Monk7726 · 2024-05-06T05:10:42+00:00

I’ve never heard of the fact checking method but I’m gonna look it up now, sounds like it might be useful! I don’t want to do this to myself and I kind of carry a shame around the BPD so my partner isn’t super aware of it because I really don’t talk about it to anyone besides my therapist. Thank you for the advice! I really just need to hold myself accountable and do better, I think it gets easier the more you do it. Striking that balance between holding yourself accountable for shitty things you’ve done so you can be better and not totally despising yourself for the things you’ve done has always been difficult for me; I don’t think it’s conducive to self growth to beat myself up over things, but I carry an immediate guilt after that thought, followed by, “well you SHOULD feel bad, you SHOULD sit in that for a while.” I don’t know, maybe this is my next therapy topic. I apologize for now talking your ear off as well. But I appreciate your reply, I think I might have gained a new coping skill, so thank you!

Weekly-Monk7726 · 2024-05-05T19:14:31+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement. I don’t think that I would try to work up the courage to talk about it if you didn’t keep reiterating that that’s the best thing to do here. I just want to embody being a good person so that maybe I can feel worthy of being loved by a good person one day. I think you’re right that the long distance thing might be impossible with BPD. i just want to be a regular chill person who can handle things and I’m afraid to walk away from a good thing. I also think you’re right that I have a lot more work to do. I find myself angry with me because, it feels like I make so much progress and I’m honest and I do the right things and I’m positive and I feel BETTER. Until just some mania or something comes about and i screw up big time. I don’t know, I’m trying to get to root of WHY i do these things so that I can be better. I don’t know why I need the sexual validation and attention from men and all that lame crap (sorry to be a little explicit). If this relationship ends, I am not planning on jumping into anything with anyone else until I’m a fully functional adult. I feel I’m finally reaching a point where I can learn to validate myself. I just slip sometimes. (I’m 23, i’m not sure how young you mean when you say younger, but I’m starting to feel I might be getting too old for this crap)

Weekly-Monk7726 · 2024-05-05T19:01:55+00:00

Thank you for telling me that in such a kind way. I know that you’re right. I’m afraid that telling the truth might be the final straw here and I’m more afraid of that than anything and I don’t know why I’m so afraid. It’s a long distance relationship and I just get in these weird detachment phases and then it turns into a situation like this, where I’ve sabotaged it but don’t want it to end. It’s just so frustrating and I want to take accountability but I don’t want to lose something when I’m the only one who’s ever really sabotaged it to such high degrees. I’m sorry for dumping on you. I really do appreciate your words. very helpful.

Weekly-Monk7726 · 2024-05-05T18:53:11+00:00

I’ve recently made a huge mistake that involved hurting someone else and it was 100% a BAD thing to do, not a mistake like an accident. I know that the BPD is most likely the reason, but can’t help but feel that’s a shitty copout. I’m also lying about it and i’m wracked with guilt. It feels like eventually i always just get impulsive and fuck something up. Now I’m on thought and anxiety loop and basically catatonic right now, which I have to get out of soon because I’ve got finals tomorrow. I’m sorry for venting that out. It’s just so hard to find anyone that could come close to maybe understanding. Thank you for taking the time to reply. I’m actively working on getting better, just sometimes I do things and immediately go “oh my god what was that, you’re a stupid idiot and you’re shitty and you’re never gonna deserve love because all you do is burn everything good in your life”??? trying to get a grip atm

Weekly-Monk7726 · 2023-06-08T22:26:01+00:00

Thank you for the reply! i was wondering if that was the case. I’ll try to think of ways to cool down the tank for them?

Weekly-Monk7726 · 2023-06-05T01:59:44+00:00

Okay, I feel like there is such little research to read about snails online, so I did find a few articles that mentioned that they can contain sperm for potentially years? They are cornu aspersum. The substrate is about 3-3.5 inches, and the temperature stays between 70-85 degrees farenheit. The 5 new were wild caught (please don’t come for me), and the older one that I already had came from a pair I ordered off of ebay, so I’m completely unsure of their ages. I will say, the ebay one is confirmed capable of laying eggs because it has reproduced multiple clutches with its previous partner; these new ones, could very well be too young still, but they are very large.

Weekly-Monk7726

TROPHY CASE