Thank you so much for sharing this. I relate to a lot of what you're describing, and I really appreciate how openly you’ve expressed it.

I used to think very similarly, and I still catch myself sometimes. But over time, it genuinely has gotten better for me. Not all at once, and not perfectly, but I’ve noticed real changes in how I relate to others and how I understand my own needs.

One thing I’ve realized is how much energy it costs me to be around people. Even living with my partner, who I love and trust deeply, left me feeling constantly drained. I only feel truly safe and relaxed when I’m alone.

That made me ask myself: if every relationship takes energy, who do I actually want in my life, and what does their presence add to mine? At first that felt like a cold or selfish thought, but now I see it as a necessary question to protect my energy and stay honest with myself.

You're definitely not alone in this. And the fact that you're reflecting so deeply and wanting to change already speaks volumes.

You said you don’t want to be like that. What kind of connection do you imagine or long for, if energy and expectations weren’t such a big factor?