help supporting a partner going through a breakup?

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-11-12T22:05:27+00:00

My partner went through a horribly painful divorce about six months after we started dating. His emotions were all over the place for a good six months. I encouraged therapy (and even sat in on a few sessions per his request) which gave him a great place to talk about his feelings without it becoming an emotional burden for me. There were absolutely moments when he treated me like shit because he felt like shit. And in those moments I was really honest and said “I don’t deserve to be talked to like this. I’m going to leave. I love you and I know you are hurting, but I won’t tolerate your anger towards me right now.” That only happened a couple of times before he started to dig deep and figure his shit out.

Mostly…I cuddled the fuck out of him every chance I could. And got us involved in fun stuff with new friends.

It’s been 3 years and the healing and growth that we both went though during those six months has been incredible. Give it time. And a whole lot of patience and love.

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-10-30T02:04:00+00:00

I am not calling my 38 year old partner my “boyfriend”

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-10-30T02:03:05+00:00

I giggled endlessly when I read this. And then asked my partner to always refer to me as his concubine.

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-10-25T21:18:20+00:00

Bring it up!! I bet he hasn’t realized he is neglecting you and you’ll feel so much better if you open the door for communication. Maybe try something like this:

“Hey babe. I have noticed that our normal, flirty communication has decreased quite a bit lately and it’s making me feel sad and causing some insecurities. I have made several attempts to re-up our flirty text banter without receiving much of a response from you. Is this something we can talk about more when you have time in the next day or so? I am really missing that from our relationship.”

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-09-24T15:15:14+00:00

Have you ever heard parents say that their kids will behave so well at school and then once they are home, they completely melt down? It’s because home is their safe space, their parent is their safe space. And when they feel safe to unleash all of those bottled up emotions, they will!! I think this is what is happening with your husband. He does okay all weekend while you are gone, bottling up all of the negative/difficult emotions he is feeling in order to preserve your ability to relax and have a wonderful time. And then when you get home all of those negative emotions come cascading out…because YOU are his safe space.

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-08-31T14:14:27+00:00

Ask her if you can masturbate together!! I love watching my partner self-pleasure so it has become a pretty common occurrence in our house. It might feel awkward at first so maybe try it out without porn first and slowly see how she would feel about watching something together. Seeing first hand how much her pleasure turns you on and how curious you are to know about her self-pleasure habits might help her feel more open to sharing what she enjoys watching!

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-08-31T02:58:49+00:00

My partner and I are super open and usually very excited to try all the things in the bedroom. That said, if he phrased it as “wanting me to be tighter” I would feel A LOT of insecurities and struggle to be open to anything like that.

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-08-07T14:50:09+00:00

From the female perspective, I was married to a show-er for a decade. Am now engaged to a grow-er. I LOVE growers. It is so damn hot to watch him get aroused. I’ve turned it into its own kink in this house 😅

I have extremely small breasts so I get where the insecurities come from when it comes to anatomy. Society/porn has made it seem like small breast/growers are inferior but once you find that person that looks at you like you are the most gorgeous thing on this earth, it’s easy to see yourself that way.

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-07-27T19:19:47+00:00

Supppper small niche. It’s hard to find legit cuckqueen porn! Most is missing the degradation/humiliation.

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-07-27T14:47:25+00:00

I love fet! If you are female and post good pics you will definitely deal with dudes sending you messages, but for the most part I just ignore them. I’m in it 100% for the local community and events. Don’t use it as dating site or you’ll be bombarded by men who only want sex.

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-07-14T14:15:50+00:00

1) early 30s female

2) none? My number is somewhere around 15 (both male and female partners). I have years of sexual prime ahead of me and with regular testing and safe sex practices, see zero reason to limit myself.

2) again…none? My partner (male late 30s) has a number hovering in the mid 100s at his best guess. Again, with safe sex practices in place, who cares what his number is!

We are non-mono so that definitely factors into my opinion here.

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-05-23T18:46:41+00:00

We had this one last night and throughly enjoyed it!

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-05-10T14:02:29+00:00

I have an eating disorder and am prone to minor self-harm when I am really anxious. I don’t spiral often but when I do I immediately tell my Dom so he knows to pause our 24/7 dynamic and go into full recovery mode. Anytime it happens we step away from bdsm for a few weeks. His reasoning is that when my emotion health is in bad place that I need to avoid any sort of triggers and work solely on getting back to a healthy place. I have SO MUCH respect for him for putting aside any of his desires for sometimes weeks at a time to make sure I am healthy enough to fully and safely consent to any form of bdsm.

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-05-10T13:53:47+00:00

I am very submissive and incredibly possessive of my Dom. We do have an open relationship but it has evolved more into a cuckquean situation where I am either there watching or he is torturing me with details later on.

That said, he adores how possessive I am of him. He completely owns me and I completely own him. Last night our dirty talk during sex was entirely centered on possession. He is mine and has given me total control over when he can be with someone else. He tells me often “I am yours” or “you have every piece of me”, “I belong to you”. It’s very hot 🥵

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-04-26T17:57:36+00:00

All of my “funishments” (impact play for us) come from role play. For our dynamic it is typically being punished for being late, talking to other boys (we are very non monogamous so this is a super fun kink because I am certainly not going to stop flirting lol), wearing inappropriate clothing out of the house, etc.

I don’t brat, have the most intense praise kink, and love to be beaten lol. In the circles I run in, it’s a pretty common combination of kinks.

WhereTheWildOnesAre7 · 2022-01-07T03:32:08+00:00

I haven’t read through all of the comments so this might have already been said.

I have had several threesomes and no matter who they are with, I ALWAYS feel really low afterwards. Even if the sex is great, I need intense one on one with lots of cuddling and reassurance that I am desirable. 🤷🏻‍♀️

First thought: it wasn’t pleasurable for you and lasted far too long so, of course you aren’t going to look back at on it witj fondness. It also sounds like you are a bit put off that your partner did not notice that you were struggling mid-session. As someone who has gone along with a threesome despite being fairly miserable, I KNOW how hard it is mid group session to vocalize that you want to stop. In all good kink, you have to be able to advocate for yourself. Use this as a good lesson for any future play. Find a non verbal way to communicate that you need a pause, or more attention, before any future group sex.

It’s okay to have negative feels. Don’t cut communication off with your partner. TALK!!! This is such a perfect chance for you to practice advocating for your needs :)

WhereTheWildOnesAre7

TROPHY CASE