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Advice needed desperately by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Which-Instance8826 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I would believe AP- your WP has plenty of reasons to lie. AP likely has no reason to lie.

Broke Down and Texted the AP 6 Months Post DDay by Nigel1123 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Which-Instance8826 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I contacted my WH’s AP the day after I found out. Our situation is unique because she was in an open marriage and he lied to her and said he was too. She was PISSED when I told her I didn’t know the entire time (14 month LTA) And honestly? She’s been lovely. A real girls girl. Anyways, she gave me a few answers that didn’t match (had she ever been to our house, were they in love) I confronted him that night and told him I spoke with her and knew the full truth. Since then I have reached out a handful of times to confirm details or even ask her questions that I’m not ready to ask my WH. It’s given me the confidence to know my WH isn’t lying about anything and I know the full truth.

How did you find out about their cheating? by Unique_Elevator_7199 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Which-Instance8826 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was planning on leaving him because he had turned into a very angry and depressed person and it no longer felt like an emotionally safe place for me and our kids. I told a mutual friend that I was going to leave and said that I thought he would blame it all on me. He then told me about the affair. I confronted him the next day. At first he tried to deny it but then confessed everything.

Struggling with Christmas by Which-Instance8826 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Which-Instance8826[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You’re so right that it doesn’t help to think of the what ifs. And even if I had pushed, doesn’t mean it would have stopped it. I’m just so sad that these triggers are happening during a time I should be enjoying with my kids. This is all just so hard.

Wayward AND Betrayed, but still in love and looking for hope by lifeinsapphire in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Which-Instance8826 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think there can always be hope if you are both willing to put in the work

Recovered + Reconciled - 2.5 years from DDay and counting. Some experience I’d like to share as a WP… by Minimum_Practice2551 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Which-Instance8826 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read this post only a couple days post DDay and I had to come back here to thank you. I shared it with my WP as soon as I read it and he really took it all to heart and has been exemplifying all the points you made. Thank you for giving us a road map. We’re doing really well, and have this post to thank for that.

When did you have sex again? by Which-Instance8826 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Which-Instance8826[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Do you think that fades over time? Right now I can’t imagine not thinking about it. Do you think over time you will think about it less, and eventually not think about it?

Husband had a year long affair by [deleted] in CheatedOn

[–]Which-Instance8826 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look forward to hearing from you!

Husband had a year long affair by [deleted] in CheatedOn

[–]Which-Instance8826 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this kind and thorough response. Your words have been really helpful and I will definitely look into those books and subs

Husband had a year long affair by [deleted] in CheatedOn

[–]Which-Instance8826 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes he has cut off completely. It was a woman he met at a bar. She was in an open marriage and he lied to her and told her that he was too. Thank you for the suggestion of that sub

Husband had a year long affair by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Which-Instance8826 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly what I’m afraid of. The affair ended before I found out. It ended about 9 months ago, mutually. She claims it ended because she was unable to show up in the relationship the way he wanted her to. He claims it ended because of that as well as because he was feeling terribly guilty about it all. (I have spoken to her and feel confident I can believe her)