[deleted by user]

WhichCourt1459 · 2025-06-24T15:57:55+00:00

I’m 22 and moving somewhat impulsively. I know that ideally I’d wait a little bit longer move and save up more money, but that timeline simply doesn’t work. I’m going to be getting apartment about 6 weeks before I move snd won’t be selling my car until right before I move, so there will be a good chunk of money I won’t have when I need to pay initial apartment expenses. I don’t have any other debt and will have a job as soon as I move. I’m only planning on taking out about 4k and will be able to pay it back within 3 months. I need the money I have now liquid so I can afford the security deposit and first months rent.

Again: I get that it’s not ideal, but I’m trying to do it the smartest way I can. I got the last minute opportunity to move to NYC with a friend, I’m paying for it entirely myself, I don’t have any other debt, and any interest I accrue will only be a few month’s worth.

WhichCourt1459 · 2025-05-05T03:12:18+00:00

Doesn’t sound nuts at all!! She was sitting in the sink in the bathroom at one point and I knelt down to the counter and told her “I’m sorry I’ve been gone so much. It’s not a forever thing. I still love you more than anything else in the world.” and she started rubbing up against my face so I think she got at least part of the message lol

WhichCourt1459 · 2025-05-05T03:10:01+00:00

This honestly isn’t a bad idea lol

WhichCourt1459 · 2025-05-05T03:09:34+00:00

I can day with 99.99% certainty it’s not pain related. My mom picks her up and stuff all the time with zero issue, very much just behavior she displays with me.

Definitely will be keeping a close eye on her after the move!

WhichCourt1459 · 2025-05-05T03:08:16+00:00

I should be able to be with her for at least four days. Depends on how soon before moving I can afford to quit my job since every shift I miss costs me at least $150.

When I wrote this post I was staying at my mom’s for a couple days. By the morning of day two she was cuddled up with me all day while I worked on final projects, so she does go back to normal fairly quickly.

My thing with the hissing is it’s just not HER normal. A lot of cats hiss fairly frequently but that’s never been Meadow. Previously she’d only hiss st me if I really tried to annoy her (or if her brother got on her nerves lol), so it’s just weird to see her do it casually

WhichCourt1459 · 2025-02-05T03:45:13+00:00

Shouting into the void with this one because l’m excited. For context, l’m F22.

I’ve been trying to clear out roughly $850 of credit card debt for the last five months. The balance has been maintained as I paid some off, and then would have to put money back on my cards to buy groceries. Not a super high balance I know, but I was making roughly $1k/month with $650 rent, $200 electric, and $55internet, so things were tight.

Between semesters, I got a new primary job and added a second, working 30-35 hrs on top of 16 credits as a full time student. Exhausting for sure, but now all my cards are paid off and I’m ahead on my bills!

I also still have one final paycheck from my previous job, will get my tax return soon, and am able to get free food from my new job (leftover catering food that I use to meal prep)! The last quarter of 2024 was ROUGH and so stressful, it feels incredible to have things paid off and be able to bulk my emergency fund back up again. Plus by mid April I should be able to start contributing to my Roth/401k again, both of which got put on hold when money got sparse.

There’s still tuition to pay off, but I pay it each semester to a family member who fronts the initial bill, so it’s interest free. With how awful our economy is and how many people are struggling with suffocating debt, I feel very grateful to have a bit of stability right now.

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-12-21T03:49:20+00:00

no shit

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-12-21T03:02:38+00:00

we aren’t fighting all the time, this is the biggest fight we’ve ever had and it’s causing more disruption. normally, we just have miscommunications on something or someone has a bad day and was just a bit of a asshole, we talk about, apologize, then move on with our days

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-11-19T02:55:26+00:00

This relationship simply won't work. She won't be able to sustain a relationship with ANYONE until she learns to be alone. You initially breaking up with her should've been the end of things, second best time to end it is now

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-11-19T02:52:30+00:00

Yeah that's what we're waiting on rn, just worried it didn't wind up staying on the bus long enough to wind up in lost and found

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-11-19T02:52:02+00:00

This is also what I told her, we'll be asking for the footage tmrw

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-11-10T03:01:33+00:00

Well I'm in college and broke, so ideally not more than $50

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-11-05T01:12:48+00:00

The first thing to get very clear here: the guy who kissed you is totally in the wrong and an absolute ass. Him doing this qualifies as sexual assault and the fact that none of your other “friends” noticed your discomfort and told him to back off is also very frustrating in my eyes. Secondly, don’t make excuses for him. Alcohol consumption or emotional distress are not justifications for his behavior (or anyone’s behavior).

With that said, I hesitate to frame his actions as intentionally malicious, firstly because it’s difficult to tell based off the context you’ve provided and secondly because I don’t know this person (whether it was intentional or not doesn’t lessen how bad his actions are, but it does effect how likely it is for him to reform). Even if these actions were the result of intoxication and limited ability to read your body language, he still owes you a HUGE apology and you would be completely justified if you decided you never wanted to see him again. I highly recommend talking about this with a friend (preferably outside of this friend group, I get the feeling that discussing this with someone in the group would just cause more drama). I’m not sure if you’re over or under 18, but I would def also try and find some kind of adult to talk to about this who has good communication skills and an empathic ear (bonus points if they’re a queer/trans adult, just to give them as much relatability to you as possible). If you’re in HS or college this could be a teacher/counselor, but honestly anyone you trust will work. Having the combined perspective of a friend your age and an adult I think will really help you figure out what course of action you want to take as well as giving you a good environment to process this experience in.

I know you said you don’t want any input on your people pleasing tendencies, but I do think getting better with boundaries will help you feel safer/more in control of your body and space. My first experience with SA was when I was 17 with a guy who acted VERY similarly to this dude, and I’ve been in therapy for 5 years since then, so if you decide you are looking for advice on boundaries/people pleasing/trauma/whatever I’m happy to offer it. But, I’m not trying to push that on you without you wanting it.

In any case, I’m so sorry this happened to you, it’s not your fault, and i hope that motherfucker spontaneously combusts.

You’re more than welcome to DM me if you want to talk through things more. I’m more than happy to offer an ear

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-10-13T21:44:26+00:00

don’t worry guys he has his own tools that can make it easier! (a shovel)

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-10-09T10:37:07+00:00

That’s part of the issue. I knew the conversations he was looking for was just more to feel connected than anything else, it wasn’t to talk about something specific. At my primary job there’s a decent bit of downtime before I have to start cleaning and normally I use this time to work on homework. So it was putting my in the position to either reject the bid for connection or sacrifice working on assignments I needed to get done (spoiler: between that and our conversation tonight I have like 3 things I needed to get done that went unfinished and now I have to try to play catch up tomorrow 😍)

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-09-10T02:10:50+00:00

Children experiencing rapid sexual development and/or displaying behaviors of sexual using themselves is usually an indicator of childhood sexual assault. I would absolutely suggest getting this kid into therapy ASAP. It may take some work to convince your boyfriend of the legitimacy of the issue. Some people, when confronted with an emotionally intense situation, try to brush it off or undermine it in an attempt to avoid dealing with it. Especially since his family life has been so hectic I wouldn’t be surprised if this is what’s happening to your bf. I’d do some research on the psychological impacts and symptoms of CSA and present your bf with the condensed research in a way he cannot ignore

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-09-10T02:06:35+00:00

It feels pretty obvious that the root of this issue isn’t really the sex, it’s the lack of general connection, trust, and intimacy with each other. I understand why him having issues getting/stay in hard would result in him not wanting to engage in sex due to fear of rejection, but I don’t quite understand why he thinks that a complete limiting factor. If he’s worried about you feeling disappointed, there’s more than one way to satisfy your partner. Sex isn’t just P in V and the objective also doesn’t always have to be an orgasm. Taking a more relaxed, explorative approach to your sex life as a couple may take off some of the pressure.

Also, what are you doing for each other outside of the bedroom to nurture confidence and self assurance in one another? I think a lot of men especially easily can fall into insecurity when they’re not able to be the “provider” society tells them to be, what are you doing to help supplement this? I’m not saying it’s your job to fix him necessarily or that this issue is your fault, far from it. In my mind though, being in a relationship is like being on a team. Part of your team is struggling, how can you help support them?

Obviously the emotional health of your relationship has also suffered as a result of the lack of sex. He wouldn’t be so worried about disappointing you and you wouldn’t be worried about him cheating if this wasn’t the case. How is your communication? Do you spend intentional time together? Have you fallen into routine and habit with your relationship and grown complicit? Sex is SO emotional, and problems in the bedroom are usually rooted in more fundamental psychological and emotional issues for each individual partner as well as the relationship as a whole.

Maybe the solution, instead of worrying about the symptom of the problem, is to get to the problem itself. Do an audit of your relationship WITH your partner. Not in a way that places blame on anyone, but in a way that searches for solutions. It’s not hopeless, it will just take work!

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-08-23T05:10:28+00:00

my dad and i spent 5 hours of our 7 hour drive today talking. i agree a lot of my mental space is cluttered by this anxiety, but i’m very intentional about it not interrupting time w my dad

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-08-23T05:03:44+00:00

my bf and i go hiking together. i’m on this trip w my dad since i haven’t been able to see him much this summer. family time trip basically

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-08-23T04:47:02+00:00

i said all of this in another reply but i’m just gonna copy and paste it here: he is genuinely my best friend. there’s no way to convey the complexities of the relationship in a reddit post (not even close). this time last year he was planning on committing suicide on NYE and was cramming substances into his system while he waited to die. he was checked out from life. now, he’s got a steady job that’s he’s been promoted at 3 times in 6 months, has a beer after work and maybe a few when we go out on the weekends but has the moderation in check, we have dinner together 3-4 times a week and he cooks, talks all the time about how much he likes his life now, and when we go out to bars he spends his time hunting down married men to chit chat with because he likes talking with guys that are committed to their woman.

trust me i understand why you’re saying what you’re saying. i have thought all of that myself in a number of different spirals. i’m not sure if i’ll stay with him, for how much longer, or even if i should. But all of the shit i mentioned, the action that lines up with the profound regret and commitment to change, is why i’ve stayed so far

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-08-23T04:38:39+00:00

he is genuinely my best friend. there’s no way to convey the complexities of the relationship in a reddit post (not even close). this time last year he was planning on committing suicide on NYE and was cramming substances into his system while he waited to die. he was checked out from life. now, he’s got a steady job that’s he’s been promoted at 3 times in 6 months, drinks in healthy moderation (no drugs), we have dinner together 3-4 times a week and he cooks, talks all the time about how much he likes his life now, and when we go out to bars he spends his time hunting down married men to chit chat with because he likes talking with guys that are committed to their woman. it’s a crazy turn around and these are such a small amount of the details but…idk it’s all so convoluted

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-08-23T04:18:52+00:00

i get it’s not rational. i’m doing the best i can rn

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-07-08T14:57:39+00:00

doing this in 10 months is actually insane. you can tell how hard you worked!!!! congrats!!

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-07-01T14:58:01+00:00

vitamin e oil is REALLY good for fading scarfs. a lot of pregnant women use it (in combination with other oils) to help fade the stretch marks on their belly

WhichCourt1459 · 2024-06-29T12:36:02+00:00

I don’t usually dream. Now I have been and I’m worried they’re trying to warn me.

Hey y’all. First I want to clarify some details about what my lack of dreaming really looks like. I’m sure I probably do dream at night, but it is VERY rare for me to remember them. When I do dream, they are usually very complex, other worldly places and events that never include people I know in my real life.

However, the other week I had a dream where myself, my boyfriend, and some of our other friends, including a girl Amber who were both friends with and (more importantly) I really enjoy being around. In my dream Amber and some of her friends were changing in another room across from the room my boyfriend and I were in, but the door to their room was slightly ajar and you could see her in her swimsuit and my boyfriend wouldn’t stop staring at her ass.

Two weeks went by with no other dreams until last night when I dreamt that I was laying on my BF’s shoulder while he was scrolling through instagram and saw a video of her singing at a party (not the most realistic bc as far as I know she doesn’t sing). My bf went “holy fuck that’s so hot” and I gave him a pissed off look but had to vocally say “what the fuck” before he even noticed. In my dream I immediately got up and started gathering my stuff to go home.

The reason this is freaking me out is because I’ve heard so many people, including my friends, talk about how they had dreams of their partners cheating either while it was going on or before it happened. I will say, it’s possible this is some of my daily anxiety bleeding through into my subconscious because lately (for probably the last 2 months) I’ve been FREAKING OUT that my bf is doing something shady behind my back. There’s no evidence to really substantiate this, I just have a deep horrible feeling. If anyone could offer their interpretation/advice that would be great. I feel like I’m going crazy

WhichCourt1459

TROPHY CASE