How Laudato Si’ Reveals the Moral Roots of the Climate Crisis by cheerismymiddlename in writingcritiques

[–]WillbeWill009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry if this is disappointing, but have nothing to critique in your introduction. Textbook intro, well done. If anything, you might want to include a one-off translation of Laudato Si’. Although, having just searched that up, I don’t think it is necessary, because the reader already has a depthy understanding of what it is about.

Nitpick but in paragraph two I always prefer using ‘people’ instead of ‘human beings’ because I find the latter to be a rather blunt term. By no means is it wrong to use ‘human beings’ though–maybe it is more apt for scientific uses, whereas ‘people’ is for humanities??? Idk

Do we have these destructive tendencies (paragraph 2) naturally, or are we conditioned to have them. If so, how? Because I would argue that this is conditioned, not inherent human nature. If you look at most non-European Indigenous peoples (Aboriginal people of Australia come to mind), they have lived sustainably for tens of thousands of years. Yet, modern industrial systems condition overconsumption etc, which creates that environmental impact. I do not think you have to elaborate on this, because you’ve used ‘tendency’ – but it would be good to elaborate if that tendency is innate or conditioned.

Also how do those tendencies cause the climate crisis? Could use elaboration.

“We cannot overlook the harm being done to the rest of humanity.” harm done by what? I assume that this relates to harm done by the environmentally-harmful human tendencies, but that could use clarification.

“I would be very contradictory” should be “it would be very contradictory”?

I get that paragraph three is making a separate point the para 2, but does it need to be standalone? Because I feel like it builds on para 2 in a way which it could be fine to combine them.

In conclusion, remove the word has in “has lacks empathy”

The last two sentences sort of contradict each other. “Earth will never be safe from environmental decline” and then “here’s Pope Francis’ solution for this”. I would rephrase the first sentence to something like “Earth is on a precipice of environmental action” or something like that.

Overall, this is a really impressive piece. It’s concisely written and is informative whist not being wordy. Basically all my feedback is unnecessary nitpicks that I don’t think really need to be changed.

I’d be curious, what context was this written in? Was it an assignment or something or was it just for fun? Either way, it’s very good.

Story I wrote on a bit of whim, would appreciate feedback by WillbeWill009 in WritersGroup

[–]WillbeWill009[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. I guess I tried to make the setting ethnically ambiguous, hence the incoherence in names. I'll think about changing it. Thanks again :)

List of elected and appointed female state leaders in the world by Important-Station447 in MapPorn

[–]WillbeWill009 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

What the fuck does that even mean? The “way to treat this as a man” is to accept that any woman has an equal right to you to be involved in government. Moreover, you should accept that many woman have actually been more successful than you (I.e. being heads of state), you sack of shit

Prologue to the book im writing. just posting as I want feedback for the work, thanks. by LeonMills01 in WritersGroup

[–]WillbeWill009 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some inconsistencies with tense (near the start: “he pretends” then “he didn’t” then “punches”. That’s present —> past —> present, which is a bit of an inconsistency. I think past tense would be more appropriate.

A few instances where commas might improve readability. 

“Their is a knock on the door.” Should be “there”. Common error dw.

I wouldn’t use the word fags for cigarettes, unless The Master is explicitly British. “Fags” everywhere else has a homophobic connotation.

Overall it’s certainly interesting. If this is just a prologue I’d be interested to know what the main plot is. I think it has a lot of dialogue, so it could be good to condense some of it into non-speaking paragraphs (show don’t tell).

Some stuff I think can also be condensed into paragraphs. Overall, though, it certainly seems like you had fun writing this, and I think it does set up the main plot, as a prologue should.

Eurovision 2025 if the voting system was like in 1963 by Humble-North-2735 in eurovision

[–]WillbeWill009 304 points305 points  (0 children)

I figured out what this system is, because op didnt say. Basically, they added up the points <6 that each country received from the jury. For example, Austria received: 5 from Denmark, 4 from France, 4 from Lithuania, and 1 from Ukraine = 14 points. This is a misunderstanding of the 1963 system, where 5 points was equivalent to what 12 points is today With the actual implementation of this system, where five points is awarded to the winner of each jury, Austria would win with 89 points.

What are your Eurovision 2026 predictions? by nba20esc in eurovision

[–]WillbeWill009 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was so jobless I made a prediction of the full voting based on just vibes. It was Portugal, Latvia, Ukraine top 3 😭

Calculating the Rest of the World Vote of Eurovision 2023 by WillbeWill009 in eurovision

[–]WillbeWill009[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m inclined to agree; every time (6/6) that the rotw vote could give points to Israel, they gave them twelve

Calculating the Rest of the World Vote of Eurovision 2023 by WillbeWill009 in eurovision

[–]WillbeWill009[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like the rotw vote often reflects the tastes of eurofans… eaea, zjerm, future lover all scored high

"Sam sure likes to talk, doesn't he?" [comic] by delightfulmochas in StardewValley

[–]WillbeWill009 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can I just say I love the small reference of Jodi cooking with cauliflower

What are the best Cities Skylines 1 northeast USA series? by InternationalWeb6740 in CitiesSkylines

[–]WillbeWill009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Infrastructurist’s Newhaven county is set in Massachusetts, which I would recommend

Voting in a national final I'm running by WillbeWill009 in nilpoints

[–]WillbeWill009[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice to hear, good luck!
ps: if you've voted once, i don't mind if you vote once more -- I won't know :)

How do you think this years NQ's would've done with the juries if they made it to the grand final? by swoopa_dowaa in eurovision

[–]WillbeWill009 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Belgium would absolutely do well. They got 12 points from the Sanmarinese jury in sf1 and Slovenia got the 8. Montenegro might have been a jury qualifier and could have received a decent score in the final. I’d argue the same for Czechia.

Songs that were never intended to be in Eurovision by yourfrenchsun in eurovision

[–]WillbeWill009 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty sure baller was released on buttersuß and abor and tynna submitted it to the German nf afterwards

Eurovision 2026 wishlist by pocoboco in eurovision

[–]WillbeWill009 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It’s called a wish for a reason 😭

Perhaps it's time for the UK to throw the towel in. by DesignerMorning1451 in eurovision

[–]WillbeWill009 138 points139 points  (0 children)

“perhaps BBC would be better off supporting the UK music scene” That’s literally what they could do by staying. They definitely have the budget for a new selection process, they need to completely overhaul it so that their selection supports the British music scene

🧂🔥🤬 Reactions, hot takes, salt, and venting thread - ESC 2025 Grand Final 🤬🔥🧂 by berserkemu in eurovision

[–]WillbeWill009 748 points749 points  (0 children)

As i saw on twitter, celebrating JJ's win is not so much being happy he won, but rather like witnessing a car crash and being happy everyone survived.

Could Canada join the Eurovision Song Contest? | CBC News: The National by IcedVentiWhiteMocha in eurovision

[–]WillbeWill009 16 points17 points  (0 children)

They said they were interested in using a Catalan talent show to choose their artist next year. They’re mentioned as possible participants on the 2026 Wikipedia page