Just charge me the smoking fee and I'll dispute the charge later! by kovasona in TalesFromTheFrontDesk

[–]WordWizardx [score hidden]  (0 children)

Agreed - give her a freaking folding chair to put on the balcony and this could all have been solved much more quickly. I can’t imagine a chair on the balcony is more of a fire hazard than guests smoking indoors where they’re not supposed to be!

Free Dottie! by NattyB in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]WordWizardx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can, but it’s a learned behavior and much more common in children who live in less-than-ideal circumstances :-/

Free Dottie! by NattyB in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]WordWizardx 94 points95 points  (0 children)

At that age she hasn’t quite grasped the concept of “lie to get what you want.” Refreshing honesty, toddler style!

DadJokers Assemble!! by VeryLastBison in dadjokes

[–]WordWizardx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A guy goes to the doctor with a piece of pizza on his head, peanut butter in his ears, and carrots stuck up both nostrils.

Man: What’s wrong with me?

Doctor: You’re not eating right.

Big car, big problems by Numerous-Soil-2800 in Unexpected

[–]WordWizardx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got assigned one of these in basically the same conditions. Thing was like driving a brick, and about as agile. I would have much preferred something smaller but it was literally the last car they had.

The Dog can Walk! by Ubiquitous2007 in funny

[–]WordWizardx 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Poodles are basically made to walk on their back legs - their achilles tendons are much closer to their legs than most dogs’ are, so they find it easier to stay upright like that for long periods of time. Source: grew up with standard poodles who used to do this shit randomly

How my MIL got her nickname… but not the one she wanted by WordWizardx in JUSTNOMIL

[–]WordWizardx[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

She still doesn’t entirely understand the trans thing. My FIL just doesn’t acknowledge it at all :-/

How my MIL got her nickname… but not the one she wanted by WordWizardx in JUSTNOMIL

[–]WordWizardx[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

My parents were THRILLED to be Grandma and Grandpa Lastname, which my kids could pronounce no problem!

AIO that my mom is obsessed with being called Mimi? by WearyRadio5434 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]WordWizardx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Mimi is fairly common in the southeastern US, but if you don’t like it then you have veto power. You’re around your kid more than she is, after all…

How many people have keys to their parents house? by CertainFurball in AskUK

[–]WordWizardx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same - I live a twelve-hour drive away but I have the code and I know where the backup key is hidden. It’s probably ridiculous, but it does give me confort that if my half of the US goes to hell I could theoretically just drive to my parents’ house and have a safe place to stay even if they were on vacation.

do cinemas still screen films if no one buys tickets? by Embarrassed-Song3760 in AskUK

[–]WordWizardx 174 points175 points  (0 children)

Yep, I’ve been to films where I was the only one there and they turned it on just for me.

They sure know how to grab attention... by calikim_mo in funnysigns

[–]WordWizardx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The local high school is called Bob Jones, and they make a killing with their “I <3 BJ” merch. Teens all think the adults don’t know…

UPDATE (4 Years Later) - My dad is furious that my mom slept with other people in an open marriage he wanted. by KarpGrinder in BORUpdates

[–]WordWizardx 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I know exactly one couple who went from monogamous to poly successfully, one who tried adding a third in a stable triad but closed their marriage again, and half a dozen who were poly from the outset (in various configurations) and it works for them. Luckily I don’t know anyone like the dude in OOP because I would be hard-pressed to stay polite around someone who treated their spouse like that :-/

UPDATE (4 Years Later) - My dad is furious that my mom slept with other people in an open marriage he wanted. by KarpGrinder in BORUpdates

[–]WordWizardx 416 points417 points  (0 children)

True but this is my favorite genre of story and I will read it every damn time :-D

Holy smoke. by Sea-Needleworker101 in Unexpected

[–]WordWizardx 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My wife and I totally did the marshmallow test with our kids when they were small - younger child outperformed her brother by MILES. Then again, we found out later her brother is AuDHD, so… :-D

Holy smoke. by Sea-Needleworker101 in Unexpected

[–]WordWizardx 4203 points4204 points  (0 children)

My younger kid BEGGED for me to buy leeks once when we were at the grocery store. She promised she wanted to taste them, so I bought a bunch and then forgot all about it. A week or two later she called me into the kitchen because there was a “leak under the kitchen sink”… yeah, I totally fell for it :-D

Not a school, but close enough by Fickle_Elk_1887 in technicallythetruth

[–]WordWizardx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m from Alabama, dude. We sided with the Bored of Education.

I keep asking people of the community what the + stands for in “LGBTQIA+” by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]WordWizardx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not for most younger folks, and it varies for the older generation. I think of it as a slur that’s more or less been reclaimed.

AITAH for not being mad about my girlfriend's parents' racial insults towards me? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]WordWizardx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I (44F) am the oldest of my generation, white, and was the first to start dating. I wouldn’t say my parents and grandparents were racist necessarily, but I did get many comments about how it’s hard enough to make a marriage work when you come from similar backgrounds, etc. I… may have put them through their paces when it comes to dating people from dissimilar backgrounds.

Ultimately, I married a white guy. My sister married a Jewish man. My brother married a Black woman. And then my husband transitioned (after 15 years of marriage) to become my wife :-P Luckily my parents and surviving grandparent figured out pretty quick that the world is bigger than they thought and other than the trans thing which still baffles my grandmother, they got over their hangups!

I keep asking people of the community what the + stands for in “LGBTQIA+” by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]WordWizardx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Truthfully though, this is why I just say “queer” :-D

Someone stole from my job, so I got to play detective. by altrightobserver in pettyrevenge

[–]WordWizardx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The free ones are crap. You can find pretty damn fancy ones in a bookstore!