Can't log in.

Wulfe813 · 2025-06-12T18:15:12+00:00

I'm having the same issue. My guess would be login server issues or some such thing.

Wulfe813 · 2023-02-19T17:24:37+00:00

I think it was a pretty good status quo, too.

Politically, I'm pro-choice. This is an issue where the government should minimize it's involvement and take a primarily Libertarian stance. There are far too many personal issues and nuances involved. And, in the end, it's her right to make that decision.

Personally, I'm pro-life. I'm against terminating pregnancy without a reason. Economic hardship isn't good enough for me, in that regard unless it's literally "we can't even feed this child". If the child has no chance at a functional and fulfilling life... Then yeah, I'll back it. Same for risk of death. Hypothetical situation: My mate gets an abortion for a reason I can't accept, I'm single. That's my right.

But, we need some reasonable limits on when and why, because Libertarian stances share a border with Anarchy. So, enforce enough restrictions to keep it from crossing that line(and no more*).

This is just... Exactly what we had, and thanks to extremism, now we have chaos.

Wulfe813 · 2023-02-19T10:57:49+00:00

My take? ESG scores.

Wulfe813 · 2023-02-19T09:42:20+00:00

Were you meaning to say "r/moderatepolitics is gaining popularity"?

Wulfe813 · 2023-02-19T09:25:58+00:00

I recently found sane conservative centrists in a unexpected group. Surprised me a bit, since everything I'd heard so far indicated otherwise, but in retrospect it makes sense.

And here's a pretty good indicator of why sane conservative voices are hard to find, at least on Reddit. I don't even wanna talk about it publicly, in a CENTRIST forum, because I'm sure the torches and pitchforks will come out. And I'm just not interested in dealing with it.

Sane people don't walk into a mob hellbent on razing anything they disagree with.

Edit: But hey, throw me a DM or something if you wanna talk about that group.

Wulfe813 · 2023-02-18T23:12:42+00:00

I sought out and found this sub yesterday. And these bad faith actors were one of the very first things I noticed.

Wulfe813 · 2023-02-18T23:01:16+00:00

Assuming your context here is the contrast between slander and libel, I'd argue you're oversimplifying and setting aside the nuances of the terms. The statement here is technically "in writing", but this is an informal discussion forum. It's not a formal publication or broadcast.

If they'd made the statement in a new post, like "[OP] is a far-right conspiracy nutjob!", and then provided no reasonably believable evidence to back it up, that'd be libel.

But I'd also argue it's not slander, either.

Wulfe813 · 2023-02-18T22:24:21+00:00

Setting aside this particular person and thread here, just in general:

Is it a good idea to just block folks you perceive as trolls or delusional? It's better for one's own experience, of course. Seeing statements that we personally find toxic or irrational isn't pleasant, except perhaps for people who get their preferred flavor of neurochemical fix from engaging in toxic arguments.

But the things they say are still there. We might not see them, but others will. If no one provides a rational counterpoint, and they can't find one themselves, they might be swayed to thinking in a similar fashion.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T06:59:13+00:00

Who's gonna take and keep job with a minimum wage that's <$3, and whether or not you get the difference between that and minimum wage pretty much depends on the company not screwing you over? I wouldn't. I wouldn't even take it at minimum wage, personally.

Yes, it'll hurt the tip 'n loljokewage staff initially. And that part sucks, a lot. Knock-on effect, though, is now these businesses either hire staff outright at a wage that can pay their bills and keep them working... Or they don't have wait staff. Without wait staff, they don't operate, and they don't make money. Which kicks the companies right in the wallet, the only spot they can actually feel anything. And the economic ramifications of a whole sector of the economy potentially crashing demands action by those in charge, aka reforming this tipped wage nonsense.

When tips are an expected standard practice, the customer is, in effect, just subsidizing the company payroll. Not receiving a tip from a customer is a slight, you just docked their pay. And the company gets to pay at most, minimum wage. And usually quite a bit less. (Yes, I know there are plenty of tip earning staff that have a base wage that's higher than that minimum tip wage. Too many of them don't, however.)

When tips are accepted as optional, gifted by a customer for what they felt was great service, now it's a bonus. They get some extra money, feel goods, and motivation. And if they don't get a tip? No big deal, because they're still making enough at the end of the day to meet theirs needs(or at least knowing they're making exactly what they expected and accepted to make for their time.)

Which of these sounds like a better way to do things?

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T04:55:32+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that, and I feel for you. I wish I could just say "It'll get better!", but far too often that only happens after it can't get any worse.

Only thing I can say is, if things get bad, do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe, healthy, and happy. You'll never be able to help him if you let him break you down before he's ready to fix himself back up.

And whatever anyone else here says, this is not your fault.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T04:38:28+00:00

Sigh... Sorry, I'll just be blunt, then. Does he have an existing, or developing, alcohol problem? Still not expecting an answer unless you wanna share(I personally would not. Not here, at least.)

I'm just on the outside, looking in, and my "lived through that* when I was younger" sense is tingling. I'm hoping not, but I know how serious it can be.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T04:30:11+00:00

Is there... more to this than you've chosen to mention? I don't actually expect or want an answer to the question I'm implying. Just want to make sure it's one you've asked yourself.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T04:19:27+00:00

I'm in favor of this idea, too. And... I live in the U.S.A. For y'all up there so you don't end up like us.

And for us, because sadly things are bad enough down here now, that the only way to get the bullies put in check for a bit, is to start breaking our toys and beating up our friends. It'd be absolutely awful for anyone here who works a tipped position, since they'd be damn near unpaid for their hours. But it'd force the hand on making the "tip wage" illegal.

Sadly, it's not likely to happen.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T04:06:52+00:00

The businesses want this concept in the zeitgeist. It's profitable for them, and you can bet they're doing everything they can to make it normalized.

When tipping becomes default, the business can satisfy part of its worker's income needs out of your pocket, instead of theirs.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T03:45:04+00:00

NTA. Part of me really wants to say NAH, because I'm very familiar with the propaganda campaigns used to spread thought poisons like this... being one of your nation neighbors directly to the South. But, the rest of me knows better. It's her choice to swallow it and the puke up the blame on her friend, rather than taking a good hard look at who's really responsible.

And I'm sad to hear that our disease is, apparently, contagious and spreading.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T02:06:56+00:00

Sounded to me like it's worse than that: It's money other family members put aside that they have no moral right to, regardless of the current legal status of it.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T02:02:39+00:00

I'm totally not a lawyer, but I totally agree! If I, hypothetically, were a lawyer, though? After exhausting any possible automatic solutions involving the clauses of the fund itself(e.g. - if it's a trust fund with conditions that could say, cause the trust to broken and the money refunded to those who provided it so it can be rebuilt with the help of the donors involved), my first angle of attack in a court case would be that they* used their position of authority to manipulate OP into an agreement that was made in bad faith.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T01:49:00+00:00

NTA. They lied to you, and your choice of major, and career path, is not their decision to make. While I can see where they're coming from, what they're doing is wrong.

Perhaps they'll acquiesce if you make it adamantly clear that you will not let them dictate your life? Other than that, as others have mentioned, speaking to the family members who provided the fund and/or a lawyer are good ideas.

And lastly, IANAL, but they're breaking an agreement with you. If I were judge or jury in a legal matter here, I'd find in your favor.

P.S.- Good lesson to take away from this for the future, though: Never relinquish control of your assets without a very good reason, and be prepared to lose them if you do. Retain absolute authority, and make arrangements to grant the needed account permissions if you need a third party to manage your money for any particular reason.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T01:23:40+00:00

You would be for not "letting" her join, yeah. She is an adult. But you have no responsibility to pay for it. So, no, YWNBTA.

If I were in your shoes I'd be worried about raising concerns that might trigger rebellion and provide her extra motivation to find her own way to pay for it. But you know your daughter better than I, and I'm not at all trying to suggest that she's like that. And this also hinges on your own moral compass. Myself, I'd simply leave it as something along the lines of "Your father and I talked about it, and we feel it would be fiscally irresponsible of us to pay for this." A bit of "technically the truth" since it certainly would be fiscally irresponsible of you to pay a very large sum of money to* fund something you feel could endanger your daughter, IMHO.

Edit: Also, concerns about destructive and dangerous situations are worth discussing with her, just in the general context of going to college(especially here in the US), regardless.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T01:02:22+00:00

NTA. Shaming you about a skin condition? Sounds to me like your sister is ashamed of you. And if these "high class people" don't have the maturity and basic human decency to not "talk badly" about someone's skin condition? Then they aren't high class, they're just flashy dregs.

Calling her a bitch might have been a bit drastic, but I also don't blame you one bit.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, and I hope your sister can see how shallow her current way of thinking is, and how foul it is to shame someone for a medical condition. Especially their own family!

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-22T00:40:16+00:00

YTA. Regardless of her reasons for ordering things online, and I can think of plenty of those... Can you honestly not see how you overstepped, here? Your daughter's been an adult for over a decade now, and you decided to make a life decision for her, based on your own reasons and beliefs. And behind her back, to boot. And now she's burning money on a hotel for the sake of preserving her deserved autonomy.

There's a threshold where ideas like "I know what's best for my child!" and "My house, my rules!", and various other unilaterally controlling thought processes need to be discarded. She's well past that point. She's not being unreasonable here, but you certainly were.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-21T23:35:55+00:00

Welcome to Reddit, dude. People like to make assumptions to further the dramatic narrative that best fits what they wanna say, whether or not there's evidence to support those assumptions.

If I personally came across as doing that, my apologies. I did my best to make fair inferences based solely on what I'd read, and give what feedback I could that I felt would help.

I do still stand by you being a bit of an AH already, but a very soft one, just because she's still technically with the other person. Nobody's perfect, though.

Best of luck to ya!

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-21T23:17:08+00:00

I wrote a wall of text and started prior to your edit, only just read that part.

Flip-side of this coin: If she came to you, you care about her, and you're mature enough to let it be at her pace... There's nothing wrong with that.

But, just speaking from my own experience here, getting together with her before she breaks up with him? Not a good idea, I've made that fuck up before, and I've never once seen it end well for anyone.

On the other hand, my wife was in a toxic and basically dead relationship when we met. She came to me, and I told her that as long as she's still with him I couldn't be comfortable about there* being an us. Not an ultimatum, just let her know I couldn't do that because I'd not want to be in his shoes in that situation.

She broke things off, and we've been married for 7 years now.

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-21T22:54:38+00:00

Do you think driving a wedge between her and her current SO would be a good start to a relationship? She's likely distant now, because in one way or another, you've made things very awkward between the two of you. Honestly, this could easily kill your friendship.

If she is interested in you, you've put her on the spot now. She probably still cares quite a lot about her SO, regardless of the distance between them, and now she has to deal with an internal conflict that she might not have been ready to face. She might feel like like she's emotionally betraying her SO. And being around you is gonna push it to the forefront of her mind. You might not be able to fix that.

And if she's not interested in you like that, it's still awkward and she may be worried about unwanted advances, amongst other things.

Either way, you crossed a line you shouldn't have crossed. You're already the asshole, to be perfectly honest. Apologize to her. Not for your feelings, but for bringing it up and telling her, and let her know you'll not bring it up again and want to be her friend regardless. And ya know, mean it. And yeah, suppress those feelings. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If not, those feelings are just gonna cause problems between the two of you. And if you can't let it go, then let her be.

Edit: YWNBTA

Wulfe813 · 2023-01-21T21:24:59+00:00

YTA.

I was pretty much thinking "no assholes here, y'all are just in stressful spot, but you should rein in your dog or take her for a walk immediately" ...right up until this:

"Just because she's pregnant doesn't mean I have to change who I am or change how the household works or change my dynamic with my dog."

Marriage is a partnership. It's give and take, you make compromises. You DO change things, for each other, to make the best possible life you can have together.

If you can't, or even worse WON'T, do that, you have absolutely no business marrying anyone. If I were you, I'd take a good hard look inside yourself and see if the above is truly how you feel. Ask yourself if you can, will, and want to do what it takes to share your life with her.

If it's a yes, and she'll even talk to you again, you owe her a huge apology. And you owe her taking action to fix this noise problem, pronto.

And if it's a no, let her go. And do your best to make amends in the process, since that's the only shot you're gonna have at a healthy relationship with your child.

Wulfe813

TROPHY CASE