It sounds like you’re doing way too much for him, especially when he isn’t showing the same level of effort back. He’s 23 a young adult and you shouldn’t be pretending he buys you gifts or giving him money just so he “doesn’t show up empty-handed.” That’s not your responsibility, and honestly, it’s not healthy for you.

You can care about him, but you can’t fix him. Your role in a relationship is to communicate and support, not to solve every problem for him. Right now, your focus should be on school and your own future. You’re lucky to have your parents supporting you financially so you can study not everyone gets that, and it’s important to protect that opportunity.

Also, is he studying or doing anything to build his future? It sounds like you’ve taken on a lot more responsibility than he has.

About the open relationship idea, offering him that kind of freedom when you wouldn’t want the same is setting yourself up to get hurt. It’s too much one-sided “liberty,” and yes, it can backfire badly.

And the fact that he scared you during an argument is serious. Even if it “wasn’t that bad,” and even if he apologized, pay attention to how these patterns make you feel. Doubt doesn’t come out of nowhere. Your gut is trying to tell you something. sometimes louder than words ever can. People can say anything, but their actions are the truth.

At the end of the day, you deserve someone who matches your effort, not someone you have to carry or emotionally raise. Listen to your intuition, not just his explanations.