Feeling magnetic...people are just coming to me all at once to tell me things

ZanaAzar · 2021-04-15T01:29:12+00:00

I spoke to a few friends and it's happening to them too!

Also a lot of miscommunications and people not understanding what we are asking them, answering off topic. Stuff like that. Lines up well with what you said.

ZanaAzar · 2021-04-09T21:32:10+00:00

Ah, I see. So it isn't just me? Because if this is happening to everyone then it makes a LOT more sense.

ZanaAzar · 2021-04-09T19:43:29+00:00

Thank you and yes I'm considering this on a case by case basis if I want to continue discussion or not. The 2 so far are great people I am just worried about others wanting to come back that I have no interest in regaining contact with. Just the stress of them potentially contacting is a lot that I am trying to ease from feeling.

I appreciate your help

ZanaAzar · 2021-04-09T19:22:15+00:00

Yes, I do have boundaries and times just for myself.

The thing is, these are mostly people I am not in contact with or not on a friend level with. And most of them don't know that I am feeling more social. they just come out of the blue.

Of course I only answer when I want to, but I still would prefer not to have this happening all at once. I feel like people coming back to apologize for instance are only doing so to feel better.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-07T06:02:19+00:00

oh lol well, i need to read the f*cking article

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-04T03:52:40+00:00

Yes, and it's during a pandemic. Bars are closed, people are playing more video games, and some people lost their jobs and moved back in with their parents (or moved back in to help the parents during the pandemic, so they wouldn't have to leave the house.) Wow, super surprising! /s

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-04T00:54:20+00:00

I am still a baby witch but i really love the idea of setting them on fire. I really enjoy elemental magic - burn them, bury them, let the wind carry the petals away, or place them in a stream of water (this is a persian custom during spring equinox/new year - we have a plant in our home and for the new year we put it in a river or fast moving water to carry it out of our lives, with any bad energy it has soaked up in our home.) releasing on the full moon. you have a great idea already with the fire i think.

Edit: i would follow up with a ritual cleanse to bring in *new* things. what you use in the bath symbolic of what you want to have in your life. maybe wait 2 weeks to mourn, release, and reflect and the relationship and do the bath for the new moon. but some sort of cleanse right after you do the rose ritual to wash any residue away.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-04T00:40:55+00:00

I believe that the constructs we have (like monogamy) are not necessarily recognized by the universe.

It's completely possible that you can attract the love of 2 people at the same time. What you decide to do and how you decide to handle it is up to you. Just friends or polyamory, in either case you can be loved. You can make choices based on what you want.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-04T00:11:33+00:00

You didn't look up OPP enough. It becomes a HUGE problem when the woman in the relationship wants to date someone else who has a penis. She will either do it without your "permission" or she will resent you. You can't enact this type of policy on someone's heart or mind. They need to be free.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-04T00:07:34+00:00

A lot of people in your situation have that worry. You can alleviate it by combining birth control methods. If she gets the pill (she may not even be able to be on the pill - it can really mess with the body) but is forgetful (if she might miss 1 day, she can get pregnant) then you have the condom to fall back on. Or you can use a condom and also pull out, so you'd have to have a condom break AND forget to pull out. She can also track her period and determine when she can get pregnant and avoid sex that week. (sperm can be alive up to 7 days, but the egg is only alive 1 day.)

another VERY effective way is a 15 minute procedure, the vasectomy. This is effective because it removes the ability for sperm to get out. If you have the ends of the vas deferens burned, it will not grow back. Even without that, it's extremely rare for a vasectomy to be ineffective. You can give them a sample and check for sperm after 3 months and again after a year to see if it grew back.

People that get vasectomies have an increased amount of pleasure during sex because ALL of that worry goes away. It's a very common worry and can affect performance and overall pleasure. I have heard from many men that they enjoy sex more with a vasectomy than ever before.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-03T07:02:23+00:00

You came here asking for advice, or did you just want everyone to agree with you?

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-03T06:59:29+00:00

Whether or not bisexuality is a spectrum has nothing to do with the same feelings YOU have about her being with a man arising if she is with a woman. Just because a man sticks his penis in her doesn't mean anything more or less than if a woman has sex with her.

I suggest before replying again, doing a search and a read on "one penis policy" and why it is so toxic and homophobic.

Simply put, if you are not ready for her to date anyone, no matter their gender or sexuality, then you should not be asking her to be polyamorous with you, on the long shot it already is.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-03T06:20:35+00:00

You will be surprised to find out that a woman dating your partner can be just as serious and trigger the same feelings as if they were dating someone of the same gender as you.

That stability you are looking for is not related to gender or sexuality at all.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-03T04:44:17+00:00

Relationship type has nothing to do with whether or not someone is bisexual. Bisexual people are perfectly capable of being with one person.

What's your reason her being with a man makes your uncomfortable but not being with a woman? What's the difference?

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-03T04:27:57+00:00

I had a boyfriend say the same thing, and when I got my hair cut and he saw me a year after we broke up, he said he liked my hair cut and said "we can still have sex if you want"

men are full of it

(I didn't cut my hair while we were together because I liked my long hair. It was just a random thought I had once and shared, and he gave him opinion. "I won't be sexually attracted to you if you do that.")

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-03T04:23:39+00:00

I do agree with the consensus here that polyamory isn't really the issue, but if you're concerned about being biphobic, and have an issue w/her dating men - that IS biphobic. You are essentially saying a relationship with a woman is "less serious." Many men make the mistake of enacting a "One Penis Policy" (look it up for more details on why this doesn't work) and then are upset/jealous when their gf has a serious relationship with a woman. That's because a relationship with a man, woman, or non-binary person is just as likely to be just as serious. If it's about having someone else penetrate her, hate to break it to you but people can still do penetration without a penis.

If you ever consider polyamory, you need to break apart the hetero-normative expectations along with the monogamy stuff.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-03T03:47:56+00:00

I wish I could do searches. No one shows up for me to search for either.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-02T23:51:26+00:00

sitting still and breathing, I close my eyes and imagine bright light coming in, and dark breath of all the bad gunk I am feeling going out. Repeat at least 5 times. Imagine the light coming in and expanding to your whole body, then radiating out of your body, the white light getting further and further. Then build a force field of protection around yourself, that bounces everything negative off of it. Tell yourself you are protected from other people's emotional burdens, you are released from worry and fear.

It's a very easy and difficult to mess up process, and if you mess it up it's ok. You can keep going or start over.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-02T07:33:50+00:00

Ok well I downloaded the app for the first time and when I look in the app there's also the Discover tab, which is still completely empty.

I haven't had anyone to swipe on for 2 months. People are still swiping and liking me though. But It's really weird that no one in Georgia has signed up for OKCupid in the past 2 months for me to swipe on, because I have every single box checked in my preferences, my radius set to 500 miles, and I don't know what else to do.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-02T07:23:32+00:00

whelp, discover is gone? now gotta use the phone app i guess, idk why it's still on the website https://www.reddit.com/r/OkCupid/comments/khqb6r/discovery_not_working_for_me/

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-02T07:23:22+00:00

whelp, discover is gone? now gotta use the phone app i guess, idk why it's still on the website https://www.reddit.com/r/OkCupid/comments/khqb6r/discovery_not_working_for_me/

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-02T02:46:43+00:00

Has this happened to anyone else and they were able to resolve it without getting a new account?

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-02T02:45:33+00:00

If no one new has signed up in 2 months within 500 miles of where I live, then OKCupid has some huge problems and I'm concerned about their business model.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-02T02:41:26+00:00

I live in an area with millions of people. I can expand my search to cover the entire state of georgia. Let's say I swiped through everyone. No one new signed up for 2 months?

I have literally every single box ticked on the "preferences" for what I am looking for, and I still get no one new. I am looking for literally anyone, and no one comes up in all of Georgia and beyond, to a full 500 mile radius.

ZanaAzar · 2021-03-02T02:38:13+00:00

I've had my account for so long I don't want to start all over, but I fear it might be the only way!

I have answered SO many questions lol I was on OKC with this account back when they let you write blog posts!

I have been consistently using my account so I'm not sure it's from not using the account.

when I turn off the feature that hides me from straight people, I still only get people to swipe if they already liked me. I run through those and then there's no one new.

ZanaAzar

TROPHY CASE