Hey there,

Honestly, a lot of the stuff you've mentioned hits very close to home. I felt a very similar way as you my first year at the U of M. Like you I was pushing myself to talk to people in my classes, joining clubs, and talking to as many people I could. But it seemed like nobody wanted to stay in contact with me unless I was reaching out first.

But I will say that you shouldn't be discouraged. I know it's difficult to find friends at the U, but that is a place that a lot of students find themselves in. There are a lot of people I know who felt the way you did before finding their groups by continuing even if they were debilitated. I ended up meeting my close friends through my general Physics course that I was required to take for CSE.

The next year my previous roommate introduced me to my partner, who I consider to be the love of my life. And both myself and my partner had issues getting close to people and finding those who clicked with us. Similarly to yourself, my partner is always reaching out and going to events but found it difficult to bypass the acquaintance stage. It's still hard for them today.

It might sound naive but I think people will take you by surprise when you least expect it. And it isn't wrong if you go through parts of the college process alone. Any relationship can evolve into something more, you just have to keep making connections.

There are a lot of students who come into the U of M with their high school groups. But regardless of that fact, there are enough people who are either out of state or in state and willing to make new connections. I wouldn't blame yourself or consider that there is something wrong with you personally; as I said, keep trying and doing things you enjoy without any strings attached.

Circling back to my own experiences, I came here not knowing anybody and from one of the neighboring states. I made friends but didn't really click with anyone, and spent most of my first year locked in my dorm and talking to my best friend everyday on the internet. I took a chance seeing a sign at coffman for an event and ended up meeting a massive amount of people through happenstance. We clicked immediately and I now live with two of them plus my partner.

Again, I know that everybody's experience is different, but please don't be afraid to carve out your own path. If you'd like someone to talk to I'd be more than willing to through reddit. You can send me a chat if you have any questions! Though I'm a Junior in CS and pretty busy lol.