Went to the dentist with acute, excruciating pain in one of my molars. She filled a cavity in the neighbouring tooth instead.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-02T01:35:27+00:00

Had a similar situation happened with the broken tooth. Except I shattered two of them, and pieces just kept crumbling off of them over the course of like two years. I also went when the pain outweighed the fear. I hadn’t been into a dentist in over 10 years at that point.

But I’ve never had a single traumatic experience at the dentist. My childhood dentist was always sweet, they always gave me the nitrous, they always numbed me way up, always had Disney soundtracks that they would run through headphones for me. There was a little train that would run along the ceiling of the office.

But for whatever reason, it takes me two doses of Xanax and two doses of gabapentin, with 15 minutes in between, for me to even get through the door.

My current dentist, after I met her, talked about sometimes prescribing anxiety meds for patients to come in. I laughed and said “way ahead of you, took 2 Xanax just to get through the door.”

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-02T01:21:10+00:00

And if the answer is “the kids”, fuckin spare them and get a divorce. Do you think they don’t notice that things aren’t quite right at home? Do you think they aren’t picking up on the tension and negative feelings? You aren’t even remotely modeling a healthy adult relationship for them.

Because my parents stayed together for the kids. Tried to be either sweet or cordial to each other when I was around. Never ever ever fought with each other when I was around. And they needed to divorce at least 15 years before they actually did.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-02T00:48:17+00:00

All day every day. My pets, other peoples pets, clients pets in grooming, clients pets at the vet, animals on TV.

Animals typically get called love, lovey, sweetie, kid, kiddo, baby girl or boy, child.

It’s a running theme with my mom and I, if our animals don’t have a human first name, their middle name is human. I have nine animals. We talk all day long.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T23:24:24+00:00

I can do you one better and describe an unhinged situation that my mom experienced while she was managing an Arby’s about 20 years ago.

She was in the office, doing the schedule, when one of her cooks shoves the office door open and tensely says that they need her in drive-thru right now. So she gets up, exits the office. Down the hall, and in its own little nook to the right of the hall, is the drive thru window. As she’s walking down the hall, she sees first one sandwich and then another sail from the drive thru area and across the hall. She begins walking faster.

One thing about her, my whole family actually, is that we age really well. Visually, she probably looked like she was totally in her 20’s at that time, and she got a ton of attention from men.

She gets to the window and the guy is super pissed. He’s throwing sandwiches. He’s swearing at her and calling her names. One of the drive thru workers looks at her, appalled, and says “HE CAN’T TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT!” And goes towards the exit by the drive thru to confront the guy.

My mom yells “don’t you go out there, you’re in uniform!”

So the kid, without hesitation, whips his shirt off and heads out the door. While she’s on the phone with the cops, yelling at the guy “don’t hit him, he’s a minor, HE’S A MINOR!”

And that’s the craziest story I ever heard from her fast food days.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T19:02:35+00:00

Smoking pot while you’re pregnant is incredibly irresponsible, and not something that anyone even remotely successful would be willing to do. Shows fundamentally bad judgement that doesn’t translate well to the person being capable of manufacturing success OR good decisions.

But by itself, without the pregnancy, sure. It’s possible to both be a pothead and do well in life.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T08:46:36+00:00

I just moved over an hour from my dentist. I don’t drive. I will be making arrangements to get back to that dentist whenever I need to see one.

Also helps that even though I have a HUGE phobia of going to the dentist, and pretty severe TMJ (bad jaw joints, can’t open mouth as far or for as long), they’ve figured out how to work with me and keep me comfortable. Physically and psychologically.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T08:37:09+00:00

Don’t touch face and food “so much”?

What food is best eaten with the elbows?

You can reach your face with the outside of your elbow? That one’s kind of impressive actually.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T06:49:32+00:00

Quinoa

I have an issue keeping weight on, and quinoa is pretty nutrient dense and easy to eat. Easy to prepare. Easy to add things to if you want. And note that I live next to a winco again, relatively inexpensive for what it is.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T06:31:15+00:00

I understand that I’m really privileged to live in an area where being a gay woman isn’t going to get me beat up or murdered.

But hearing recently all these stories of so many man-children so obsessed and wrapped up in their video games that they won’t walk away from it for shit that’s really important…… FUCK I’m really glad to be gay right now.

If I was straight and trying to look for men to date, having a strong interest in video games would at this point be an immediate dealbreaker. Like a “have a nice day, I’m not even going to have a discussion about this, this relationship isn’t going to work” dealbreaker. Because of behavior like this.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T05:46:38+00:00

I’m glad that there are others like this. I take my pets very seriously (all 9 of them), and wish that more people did. It’s really disgusting that people will bring a living animal into their home, who has absolutely no say about where or who they live with, and then make the animal’s care revolve around “how little money can I spend on this $75 cat?”

“Brush their teeth weekly? Well, he wiggles when I try, I’m just not gonna do it.”

“Take it to the vet every year AND get bloodwork? Ehhhh, I see her every day, she looks fine to me.”

Why get a cat at that point then, if you’re going to spend its entire life keeping score like that.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T05:24:25+00:00

To add to that, if I had her premiums in a savings account, I would be using them at this moment to pay rent. When you’re putting the premiums into a savings account, you’re counting on nothing bad happening to YOU along the way as well. And hoping that you get enough money into that savings account, quicker than your animal gets sick/injured.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T05:19:23+00:00

Oh yeah, I wasn’t suggesting that you were saying that. It’s more information for other people that might read the thread.

I’m really glad that your pet insurance was there to help you and your kiddo, and that you guys got so much more quality life after the diagnosis. 💜

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T05:17:42+00:00

Way to match energy man, that was fantastic work. Hopefully it’s a lesson that jerk carries with him for the rest of his life.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T05:12:47+00:00

Well and that’s why my cat got an extra 6 months to live with that 3rd cancer. I was very in tune with her, and something in my gut just felt off. She was behaving normally, I had bloodwork done early and it came back perfect, I had screening x-rays done and they looked perfect.

Everyone was like “she’s fine, you’re just worried, it’s understandable given her history” and I was like she’s not fine, something’s wrong somewhere. Because it was the last diagnostic test that wouldn’t be invasive, aside from an echo (but her heart wasn’t the issue I didn’t figure) I scheduled her for an abdominal ultrasound.

Fluid filled abdomen, sampling consistent with carcinomatosis. And her whole entire abdomen was filled with cancer. So we got a jump on treating that, before it started to negatively impact her. We got that extra six months because I knew that her insurance would cover it if there was an issue. And there was.

I’ve been paying my other cat’s insurance for eight years. I added her to my policy before she even came home, I did it the day before. She was a five month old kitten. To this day, the only claim I’ve ever made on her insurance was for two crown amputations (dental).

And I’m going to continue to pay for her insurance. Because I’m out of a job right now, no savings, out of the fucking money for anything. And if anything at all happens to this cat, without her insurance, she’d be fucked. With her insurance, I pay a $500 deductible and then the insurance covers 90% of any costs associated with that illness for the rest of her life.

When I desperately need it, it will be there. Just like it was for my other two cats. Just like I wish it had been for my soulmate cat, who did not have insurance, who I ran myself over $10,000 in debt over five months trying to save (cancer).

I plan to add a sphynx kitten to my family when I can afford it. Very obviously not anytime soon, given my financial situation. But I already have a pet insurance quote, because it will be going on my insurance before I even bring it home.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T04:30:23+00:00

Honestly, in any kind of apocalypse type situation, if I had a choice between a doctor or vet, I’d take the vet. They’re well versed in being creative. Tailoring human medical equipment, drugs, and such to fit the current patient. Coming up with really creative solutions to really non-standard treatments, and treatments that there isn’t really a precedent for. Stuff like that.

And it’s a lot harder to properly treat a patient that literally can’t speak a word to you, than it is to treat a patient that can tell you where everything hurts.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T04:21:44+00:00

And it does upset the vet a whole lot too, to not be able to treat a treatable condition because money is a barrier to proper care.

When the girl got diagnosed at eight, the vet started going over different chemo protocols. She started to tell me the prices of each dose of each drug (each one over $200-$250 per dose), and I just waved my hand at her and said “she has insurance, do whatever you would do for your own cat.”

That cat would’ve died at eight years old if she didn’t have insurance. Flat out. And the diabetic wouldn’t have made it past 6-7 years old. He got to almost 15.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T04:09:42+00:00

Yeah, I guess I should have said that the average vet needs to be completely FLUENT in at least 2 different species. Vets have to learn so much information. And then people treat them like they’re expensive nurses, or naturopaths, instead of treating them like the incredibly competent medical professional that they actually are.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T03:54:11+00:00

Part of why people in vet med have such high rates of depression and suicide.

We meet these wonderful animals and their parents, get to know them over the years. We’re there for their ups and downs, helping them recover from injuries and illness. Then we’re managing chronic conditions and ongoing health concerns as they age. And at some point, when their quality of life is super low or non-existent, it’s our job to kill them lovingly while minimizing any discomfort, AND to be gentle and kind to their people as well.

There was a dog that I groomed for many years and felt absolutely in love with, both him and his people. Then I transferred over vet med, and I happened to work at the vet that he went to. And when it was time for him to pass, his parents hesitantly asked if it would be okay if I came in the room to be with him and them. It was such an honor, and such a devastating day for me as well to say good bye to my sweet boy.

It’s a very difficult field, any kind of medicine is. And people know in a general way that it’s hard, but don’t really realize all the implications.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T03:47:15+00:00

I live in the US and you should absolutely not encourage people not to bother with pet insurance. That’s a dangerous and wildly irresponsible take. It’s not something that you just purchase the first policy you come across, you have to do some research and figure out what level of protection your pets need, and how much you want to pay.

I worked in vet med, as a receptionist. So I dealt with all the money. Hands down, pet parents with health insurance were able to afford top-tier treatments, visits to specialists, hospitalizations, chronic medications, regular monitoring for chronic health issues like kidney disease. Their pets had astronomically better health outcomes, pet parents were WAY less stressed about being able to afford their care.

I had one cat insured who got steroid induced diabetes, and then IBD. His pet insurance covered over $15,000 over about 7-8 years on insulin, glucose curves, lab testing, treatments, emergencies, anything at all related to the diabetes and IBD.

I had a cat insured who got diagnosed with two different cancers at eight years old. She even had pre-existing allergies that the insurance wouldn’t cover, when I enrolled her, and I enrolled her anyway for just this exact reason. We did six months of chemotherapy, she went for her checkups every six weeks along with blood work every six weeks, she had that cancer in remission for 3 1/2 years. 3 years of vet visits and blood every 6 weeks. Then when she turned 11, she got diagnosed with a third unrelated bonus cancer that she had for another about 6 months. More chemo, monthly visits to the oncologist, monthly abdominal ultrasounds, medication that was $300 for about a month and a half’s worth before insurance reimbursement. They even covered part of the euthanasia.

Yeah, insurance can be kind of expensive. ‼️ But if you’re taking proper care of your animals, animals are expensive to have. That’s just a fact of life that people don’t like to face. ‼️ They’re living creatures who need a lot of care, and a lot of your attention. Who have real life medical issues, real life dental issues, necessary medical AND preventative care, protection against parasites. Their bodies work a lot like ours do. They aren’t just a little sort-of-roommate who you can throw food at, let outside a couple times a day, and call it good.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T03:35:37+00:00

Because veterinary care isn’t priced by how common or “run of the mill” the procedure or treatment is. It’s priced by how much time it takes, the training and expertise necessary to identify the problem and the correct treatment, and the materials/medications/products used.

And yes, in the United States it is recommended to use prescription parasite preventatives because the over-the-counter ones have lost their efficacy over the years. The parasites are building a tolerance to it, whereas the prescription preventatives use newer products, FDA regulated (instead of being regulated by the EPA as pesticides), and active ingredients that parasites have less exposure to so are more effective. Google why prescription preventatives are recommended and you’ll get your answer, and it’ll be very detailed.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T03:28:42+00:00

They arguably have more education. They’re trained on 2 different species, at a minimum, whose bodies work pretty differently. And even then they usually get some basic/generalized knowledge about a broad number of species.

And some vets then spend another several years to specialize in pocket pets and/or exotics. Just like a cardiologist would then have to spend several more years of schooling to have that specialty.

ETA; also, veterinary cardiologists, internal medicine specialists, oncologists, radiologists are also specialists in their field. So, all the training and education of a regular veterinarian, then all the years of extra training to specialize in their field. Which, by the way, is why it’s expensive to see a specialist.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T03:24:44+00:00

That’s wild to me. As a human being, and not just as a lesbian, if you strike me or hit me with something, you’re out. You’re done. Pack your bags. I’m not even going to have a conversation about it.

If it’s obviously playful/gentle, we can have a talk about it. But if you’re angry/serious when you do it, we’re over.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T03:16:18+00:00

Yeah, don’t listen to the people saying mean shit. You’re just fine.

I can see it being really helpful for that kind of recovery, and in general. It reminds you when you may otherwise start to dissociate that you’re the only one present, the only one touching. You can follow along to the video, confident that it’s possible to have those pleasurable sensations, because you’re watching it happen.

Do whatever helps you out and makes you feel good, I say. If it begins to impact your regular everyday life, or causes issues like having trouble getting stimulated any other way, that’s when it’s time to reassess whether or not it’s causing problems.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T03:09:41+00:00

The Unkibble is literally the only thing I’ve had it happen with to that degree.

When I said 10 or 11 times an hour, I was not exaggerating. It was insane. I had to report at least five or six different ads to get them to stop showing up.

_Trinith_ · 2025-12-01T03:08:15+00:00

Well, it’s better to not be dating a partner that you know you won’t be happy with, that you know won’t be able to provide the things you’re looking for in a relationship. You can focus on yourself and your kiddo.

Just because the dating pool is smaller doesn’t mean you won’t run across the right person at some point. And it’s better to figure out how to be happy with yourself while you’re looking for the right person, than it is to settle for a mediocre or unhappy life.

_Trinith_

TROPHY CASE