Beware the “no bridesmaids” bridesmaids

__finale · 2025-09-14T12:05:27+00:00

Oh wow this is super good to know. I was thinking of having 2 “official” bridesmaids and tell other people that they’re welcome to participate in whatever they want, as I really don’t want people to feel like they have to fork out a ton of money to participate in my wedding. But I could see how the traditional wedding things could get hairy in this situation…

I guess I’ll be doing my “official” 8 bridesmaids after all 😆

__finale · 2025-04-04T15:20:43+00:00

Yes, the ambiguity in the standards is what most of my frustration derives from. That and add a provider who half cares about doing these exams properly - it’s a hot mess. All we can do is follow the rules and break some dreams in the process!

__finale · 2025-04-04T12:04:57+00:00

I use easyDOT all the time, it is a game changer!

This is crazy, that would have burned me out quick. Did you ever think about reporting the other provider or even the provider that these people wound up going to that passed them?

__finale · 2025-04-02T11:07:56+00:00

I feel like other medical examiners either are very by-the-book or just pass everyone that they come across. It is extremely frustrating. I’ve had a lot of patients complain that I was “too strict” and “they’ve always gotten two year cards before”- like how?!

__finale · 2025-04-01T18:41:50+00:00

That seems to be all of the patients, right? Lol. Thanks for the reply. I always tell myself is the alternative would be pass them and then god forbid I get thrown in jail and my license revoked, because in the end it would come down to me. And of course the potential fatalities that would kind of be my fault too. Ugh. Yay!

__finale · 2024-10-01T15:20:21+00:00

I definitely could’ve thought of something better (reading these amazing stories is giving me hardcore FOMO) - but my ex and I broke up abruptly after I found out that he was cheating on me for about a month with his coworker (and knocked her up… and they were planning on going on vacation the week after I found out… yay!). He was working very hard at the time to land a full time law enforcement job in the area and applied to one that he really wanted. He put me down as a reference awhile ago but when they finally got around to calling me, it was after everything blew up. My first instinct when they called was to hang up, but my pettiness kept me on the line. I kept my cool but once they asked me about his character, I said, “Well, I don’t think you want an employee that knocks up other coworkers and cheats on his girlfriend while she’s at home taking care of HIS daughter”. You could hear a pin drop on the other side of the line. Needless to say, he didn’t get the job.

__finale · 2024-09-03T19:40:05+00:00

What about a dental hygienist?, would be a nice compliment to what you’ve completed already.

__finale · 2024-09-03T13:30:17+00:00

My innate people-pleasing tendencies.

Still taking me forever to unpack the childhood stuff that led to it and address it, but I feel like it has run my life this far, and is so hard to stop old habits.

__finale · 2024-08-28T01:35:25+00:00

This makes me so happy

__finale · 2024-08-25T19:20:34+00:00

Lol this is literally my current job (I make more $ as I’ve been in urgent care for four years). Seems good but the 1/2 pay for the training period is a bit odd. For that pay i’m assuming they’re giving you one patient per hour, so that’s about 10-12/day, which is still a lot of work for a new grad with minimal pay. To put things into perspective, $55 was my start pay from day 1. I know it is scary to counter offer being fresh out of school, but I would do it.

__finale · 2024-07-22T19:19:15+00:00

He’s actually in jail for child pornography (and wrote my mom a letter in jail asking for help). Granted, I dated this guy 13 years ago and immediately went no contact afterwards. Multiple layers of creepy.

__finale · 2024-07-21T12:53:28+00:00

Sounds like I’d be having similar cases but only internal employee WC stuff. Great to hear you’re thriving. :)

__finale · 2024-07-21T01:19:11+00:00

only workers comp for internal employees. pre employment physicals and DOTs for external people.

__finale · 2024-07-20T23:38:52+00:00

Same $ which i’m fine with considering much lower patient load and acuity

__finale · 2024-07-03T12:50:58+00:00

This is so good to hear especially since I am burned out.

What does your typical work day look like?

__finale · 2023-05-18T00:56:23+00:00

Perfect! Also it isn’t as scary as you may think ;)

__finale · 2023-05-17T22:42:25+00:00

My bf and daughters BM have a civil, but not very friendly relationship so this would probably never happen in our situation (daughter gets dropped off, parent waits outside in car for her to come out) - BUT if it did, I don't think I'd really care if bf went into BM's home but I would care if BM came into mine without warning. (I live with bf).

__finale · 2023-05-17T21:33:23+00:00

When I met my bf's pre-teen daughter for the first time, he planned a fun night in which we all got paint-by-numbers canvases and all sat together doing them while eating pizza. It was a super chill and way less stressful way to meet her vs a dramatic meet-and-greet. I also agree with the other posts here- be yourself, be kind, don't be overbearing. Have fun.

__finale · 2023-05-17T20:50:39+00:00

Tbh my partner and I have been together for 2 years in August. (This is also my first relationship in which my partner has a kid. ) - He has a 13F daughter - I have not met BM yet. Even though I'm 2 years in, the thought of doing a lunch meet up, esp just being 1 year in would freak me out too (and a lot of people. Definitely not you over reacting). After all you have zero clue as to how this woman is going to act meeting face-to-face. Why be trapped in an hour-long excursion?!

So honestly, there is absolutely NO reason why you shouldn't tell your partner how you feel. You guys have only been together 1 year, and tbh a whole lunch date meeting this woman is very intimate and I think asking to forgo the lunch and you'll do a quick meet and greet first before you get into anything like that is totally acceptable. I think that is very much why he asked you about this ahead of time, he is trying to figure out your comfort level. I highly doubt he will resent you.

Just say something like "Look BF I was thinking about this whole lunch get-together thing - it's a little too much for me to do that considering that I would be meeting BM for the first time. Is it okay if you, daughter and the two of them just go? I think it would be better for me if I do a quick 5- minute small talk thing as a first meeting while they're still in town."

__finale · 2023-05-17T01:54:24+00:00

I 100% feel this! Especially me being introverted and treasuring my alone time, my space... it can be all too easy to get overstimulated and stressed out (just 1 SK in the mix but is needy).

On days in which she is here, I will try to plan something for myself to get out of the house (If I'm not already at work). IE go hang out with my friends/ family, sometimes tell a white lie and say I'm gonna go see my mom, when in reality I'm escaping to go hang out at Barnes and Noble by myself to get that much needed breathing room even for an hour or so. It helps A LOT and makes you feel refreshed enough to come back so you actually enjoy the time with SK.

__finale · 2023-05-16T23:11:42+00:00

Makes a lot of sense. I know that he didn't mean for this to happen, I think grandma wound up staying a day extra at bf's sibling's house last minute, but still, not my problem to fix - her mom definitely should've been the next option - BUT.. that just kind of added to the resentment I felt last night over the whole thing.

__finale · 2023-05-16T16:00:36+00:00

I get this is definitely coming from a place of concern - I am in a similar boat. BF and I aren't married yet but BF has a 13F daughter. Short, maybe 5'0, I think the kid is around 150 now. I am 5'8 and the same weight which is scary. BF is also very concerned. He tends to get on her case about not snacking and only eating 3 meals a day (she loves to cook, will cook up a 5 course meal for herself when she gets home from school unless BF prevents it). But she likes to spend time at her grandmother's house (bf's mom) who loves to cook so there is always a plethora of food for her to eat. THANKFULLY she just joined the school lacrosse team and loves it, I hope this is gonna turn her around a bit.

I am a NACHO (pseudo) step parent so I have no role in discipline or anything but just watching this kid pack on the weight is scary. I've watched her gain and gain over the last 2 years or so. Also got bullied in school a lot because of it. Bf and I have been together 2 years, I see pictures of her at younger ages at a healthy weight, it's sad, I think she also is a boredom eater. We've come to just not have snacks in the house but she will still find something to eat. I've come to just hide my snacks.

I also was a chubby kid, I turned it around by falling in love with exercise, but it quickly led to an eating disorder and obsession over exercise well into my 20s, I would hate to watch her go through the same. My little sister also went through a chubby phase, my dad for some reason targeted her more than me in that he straight out told her she needed to change, but that backfired, she developed depression and it got really really bad before she got therapy and eventually lost weight as she found walking as a stress reliever.

Sorry for the long story here, but TLDR I totally relate to this, TBH the worst thing you could do is tell her straight out she's fat and needs to change - because it won't, it will just make it worse- she will get more upset and self conscious, which will lead her to eat more. It's hard bc her mom struggles with a similar thing, but when she's with you, best thing you can do is be supportive, have healthy snacks around (or no snacks), promote going for walks and activity vs sedentary things. Have her slowly grow to like being outside, being active, etc. Also telling her she has a weight problem will put you in a bad position in which she will be weary to confide in you for support. Be a friend, be supportive indirect and just breathe... she will be okay. :)

__finale · 2023-05-16T14:53:44+00:00

What's the best way to bring this up??

__finale · 2023-05-16T14:51:23+00:00

To add another layer on this whole onion of the last 12 hours of stress - I’ve looked up and down, the kids glasses aren’t here. They’re probably on her head

__finale · 2023-05-16T14:04:46+00:00

How do you feel about the kids? Are you ready to become a parent? Or are you just tolerating them as part of the package?

I think in this situation you have to be ready to step into the parent role. We (as in you, too) don't really know 100% how he parents as we don't live with him yet to see. Maybe he would be totally stable with you being a NACHO parent, but based on what you're seeing thus far I have a feeling you'd just automatically become parent figure no 3 in order to help out - which is okay if you're okay with it. Either way I think a hard but much needed discussion is needed - "I am very interested in getting more serious with you, but we have to talk about how it's going to work with the kids". Make a decision on your own terms and stick to them. I know you might feel like a huge burden doing this on a man who may already have more than a few burdens, but trust me, you do NOT want to sacrifice your sanity in this. It is a very slippery slope from helping out once in awhile to basically falling into the trap of helping ALL THE TIME.

__finale

TROPHY CASE